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imisspopcorn said:
Why do you like zits?
They make you look like the pits.
They are juicy and red,
And have a white head
Squeeze, and see what they emit......

Let's just get back to the sex Limericks, k? This is just gross! :kissgrits:
 
We have finally grossed out Nessa
She is admitting it's a messa
She doesn't like acne talk
Thinking about popping zits makes her balk
That's ok - about you we think no lessa
 
Peaches said:
We have finally grossed out Nessa
She is admitting it's a messa
She doesn't like acne talk
Thinking about popping zits makes her balk
That's ok - about you we think no lessa

:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:
 
Thanks Carrie, I just spit out my drink
It's time to clean my screen, dontcha' think
You made me snort
Now I must retort
With a rhyme that says your farts really stink
 
All of us limerickers sitting in a diner eat food - that'd be alright!
The owner would just love us until we started a food fight
There'd be food everywhere
It would be their worst nightmare
And we'd be having a blast with all our might!!
 
Got to meet another cool crohnie,
peaches sure ain't no phony,
although we didn't rhyme,
we had a great time,
sipping coffee in my hood...she's now my homie.
 
I hope to meet Peaches in May
We'll go out to eat, what'd ya say?
It'll be fun
If we don't have the runs
I will meet you half way!
 
Aw man - I missed seeing these somehow!

Fen says I'm his homie - that's right!
Hanging in the hood gettin' tight
Now I just have to meet up with Farm
Making sure I don't go near a roof for some harm ;)
Love to get all of us limies together - that'd be alRIGHT!!

OK Farm - what's going on in May - did we change the CRAP date? Go check out the photography thread for a preview of D.C. - without the snow of course if we go in the summer.
 
Two 5th's of morgan and 1/2 quart of shine
Tomorrow morning will be a helluva time
It'll hurt like a mother
But I'll have another
Drinking like this should be a crime!
 
Divorce can be hell
It can make you wanna go live in a shell
at the bottom the sea
is where you'll want to flee
But when it is finally over you wanna ring a big fat bell (and yell it from the rooftops!)

I'm feeling for you Nessa....hope you are keeping your sanity.
 
farm said:
Two 5th's of morgan and 1/2 quart of shine
Tomorrow morning will be a helluva time
It'll hurt like a mother
But I'll have another
Drinking like this should be a crime!

So how was this morning Sunshine?
Did you feel like you were laying on a porcupine
Did you have sweaters on your teeth?
Did you forget your name is Keith?
Well, then drink another quart and you'll be back to feeling sublime ;O)
 
I was OK
Out forking some hay
Cleaning out stall's
Working and all
Turned out to be a great day.
 
Gosh, how embarassing it would be...
If from the forum, someone did recognize me.
In line, I would be minding my own business,
They would look at me and never guess.
She likes to write dirty poetry....

Then in would skip Peaches and Ms. Nessa
Who do not hail from Odessa
Three sweet soccer moms
We would have to drop some 'F-bombs
This is how we release our stressas;)
 
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imisspopcorn said:
Gosh, how embarassing it would be...
If from the forum, someone did recognize me.
In line, I would be minding my own business,
They would look at me and never guess.
She likes to write dirty poetry....

Then in would skip Peaches and Ms. Nessa
Who do not hail from Odessa
Three sweet soccer moms
We would have to drop some 'F-bombs
This is how we release our stressas;)

:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:
We'll pull up in our mom minivan
surprise all the men with our g-strings and fake tan
We're not here for little league practice
Let's put on a show with a cactus
This one's for you, Batman ::cracks whip::

It was impossible to type this one with a straight face...LOL
 
I'm just glad that to the lounge this thread was moved
Because at times it does get pretty lewd
Not that I really care
But I still can't seem to swear
I guess all in all I am just a prude!

Oh it is painful trying to be "good" sometimes! I'm really not a prude - I just play one on the internet.....
 
vshirey317 said:
:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:
We'll pull up in our mom minivan
surprise all the men with our g-strings and fake tan
We're not here for little league practice
Let's put on a show with a cactus
This one's for you, Batman ::cracks whip::

It was impossible to type this one with a straight face...LOL
:ylol2::ylol2::ylol2: It is pretty funny what words you HAVE to use to make the rhyme! I'm kinda like going CACTUS?? How about a feather or somethin' - but a cactus - that sounds PAINFUL!!
 
Peaches said:
:ylol2::ylol2::ylol2: It is pretty funny what words you HAVE to use to make the rhyme! I'm kinda like going CACTUS?? How about a feather or somethin' - but a cactus - that sounds PAINFUL!!

Hey now, some like a little pain with their pleasure! :ylol2: I guess I could've used "malpractice", LOL!
 
Peaches said:
I'm just glad that to the lounge this thread was moved
Because at times it does get pretty lewd
Not that I really care
But I still can't seem to swear
I guess all in all I am just a prude!

Oh it is painful trying to be "good" sometimes! I'm really not a prude - I just play one on the internet.....

Shantel is a devil in an angel's body
May be a prude, but still a hottie
Don't deny you're devilish
And bust out some freakish
Let's use it while we're young and not old and shoddy
 
Peaches said:
Ah, now we know Nessa likes some hot wax that is melted
Or maybe with pointy things she likes to be pelted
Indeed she does like a little pain
I hope not so much that she is insane!
Hopefully she doesn't like being drizzled with things that have been smelted

:ylol2:

There's nothing wrong with a spank or choke
Careful now, just don't make me croak
Say no to S&M
It's equivilent to phlem
Sit back and let me watch you stro...

Nevermind. This is a bit too raunchy...:ycool:
 
I say bring back the pole
Shake it and shake it to bless my soul
Oh what fun
To check out bun-buns
In our stockings will surely be coal!
 
vshirey317 said:
:ylol2:

There's nothing wrong with a spank or choke
Careful now, just don't make me croak
Say no to S&M
It's equivilent to phlem
Sit back and let me watch you stro...

Nevermind. This is a bit too raunchy...:ycool:
Nessa is such a naughty girl
She'd prolly give just about anything a whirl
I agree with no S&M
Unless we did some Eurotrip'n ;o)
Then Xena could get in on the swirl!!

isn't it a TRIP how that woman can change looks between Xena and BSG and Eurotrip?
 
Peaches said:
Nessa is such a naughty girl
She'd prolly give just about anything a whirl
I agree with no S&M
Unless we did some Eurotrip'n ;o)
Then Xena could get in on the swirl!!

isn't it a TRIP how that woman can change looks between Xena and BSG and Eurotrip?

YES! I think that everytime, LOL. Xena is hot. <3
 
I would like to add a comment,
But my jaw just dropped and hit the cement,
Every time I try to launch,
A rhyme with a bit of raunch,
I blush and feel like I should repent.
 
Fenny needs to learn to have some fun
Don't be actin' like a priest or a nun
Break out of your shell
I promise we won't tell
Kick back and enjoy the ride, hon
 
Peaches said:
It means you are a REALLY bad boy
Don't play like you are all coy
You know you have lots of stuff to spill
And you'd do it with zeal
All of us girls would have to go grab our toy......

:mbh:
 
Holy crap, you two have me in tears, LMFAO!

My toy has speeds one, two and who needs a man
This chick will certainly hit the ceiling fan
Each one is a different size
They really are a great prize
They'll hear me scream all the way in Sudan
 
There is something though I must admit
A man is what makes this woman get lit
A machine or human?
The latter gets me fumin'
But if he can't please the he must acquit!
 
Why do girls get all the toys?
What about us boys?
We have to give ourselves a helping hand
Sooner or later that becomes bland
We need something that makes noise.
 
Do the ladies love him because he is handy?
Or cuz he rides a horse like Yankee Doodle Dandy?
Or is it his charm,
That makes them swoon for Farm?
please tell me it's not that he loves a doll named Randy.
 
Peaches said:
Please tell me you people are gettin' my randy reference? If not, I'm just gonna have to think about the company I'm keepin' here ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CmLNPOLJl8

Of course - little did I know when I made that reference that Farm actually had a doll named Randy!! How lovely.....

Heck yes. I'm pretty sure for an entire year after that movie came out, I walked around asking if I made ya randy, LOL.
 
All I need to know
Is if farm asks for Candy everywhere he goes?
I wonder what his favorite flavor is?
I'm sure he likes the kind with lots of fiz....
I imagine 'Pop' Rocks make him glow;).
 
imisspopcorn said:
All I need to know
Is if farm asks for Candy everywhere he goes?
I wonder what his favorite flavor is?
I'm sure he likes the kind with lots of fiz....
I imagine 'Pop' Rocks make him glow;).

'Pop" rocks are the best
They've been measured and passed the test
My favs I must say
From them I will not stray
They are close to my heart, in my vest.
 
Like this?
i_love_heart_popcorn_photosculpture-p153345781953185591qif5_210.jpg
 
Yep!...Too bad it is right above the exit where the popcorn will be exploding out of...Just tell your wife you really love popcorn!
 
A pole????Ah man, I am never gonna get rid of my secret stripper persona....I usually wear my sexy nurse uniform...*cough*
 
I don't know what disgusted me more, the pic or the fact that they used "your" instead of "you're." Nothing says check your grammar like the permanence of a tattoo.
 
There once was girl who couldn't sleep
So bored and lonely she wanted to weep
She sat in front of this screen
And cursed at the inventor of caffiene
Then she shopped for a new
 
Shopped for a new what? Jeep?

Trudging through airport security,
wishing these new FAA rules to obscurity,
the lines are long,
hope xray doesn't detect my bong,
they'd question my maturity.
 
:ylol2:

People who read these and don't know us probably think we are awful - and it's all for the sake of the rhyme!
 
Fen is still coughing up a storm,
is it asthma, allergy or tapeworm?
It's got me down,
like a sad clown,
I wish this wasn't the norm.
 
Did you drink all the shine?
If not, it's about time
That will clear you up
Drink it, don't be a pup
Tomorrow you will be fine.
 
"Tomorrow you will be fine"
It's more like tomorrow you'll be BLIND
If you drink that entire concoction
You'll need a resuscitation!
Once you wake up you'll still be out of your mind!

Maybe just a thimble full - yessss, that would be enough for me :O)
 
fenway1971 said:
Shopped for a new what? Jeep?

Trudging through airport security,
wishing these new FAA rules to obscurity,
the lines are long,
hope xray doesn't detect my bong,
they'd question my maturity.

:ylol2:

Hope you remembered your watch this time around.
 
Peaches finally decided to take a shower
She scrubbed her rear for nearly an hour
She's so nice and clean
And smellin' pristine
Now she's as fresh as a pretty little flower!
 
How can you be in a rut
With a word such as butt?
A lot of words rhyme
If you just take the time
Like cut, tut, and um slu.....
 
Boy oh boy am I slow today
Out daydreaming like it's the month of May
Have trouble finding words sometimes
Especially ones that rhyme with behinds
It can be like a needle in the hay
 
Poor Fen is having a coughing attack
All he can do is cough and hack
Wish he could figure out the cure
Cuz his coughing is making him feel like manure
Wish I could give that cough a good smack attack!
 
Tomorrow everyone will surely be conned
When Nessa comes out of the salon as a blonde
Witness protection program
Is anything but a scam
My hotness will be way above and beyond
 
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Let us blonds unite
More fun, we will have at night
Not natural, who cares
You will get lots of stares
And cause all the guys to fight;)
 
2010 will bring Nessa lots of change
Hopefully more sane than strange
Will the carpet match the drapes?
Who cares? Let's eat crepes.
I'll shave off my bush if I dare catch mange
 
I can't imagine you being anything but a blond and I'm having trouble with Nessa being blond -she is so freakin' pretty as a brunette! One of my neighbors is a natural blond and colors her hair dark. I'm am just not that adventurous I guess. Boring old me.

All us girls going to the salon
To get our hair colored and done
Nessa's doing the switch a roo
I'm keeping my hair the color of poo
and Pop is looking blond and fun
 
Matchy matchy is out of style
Just check out the X-Files(???)
Kick up your feet
Dust off your seat
And don't look back for miles!
 
Peaches said:
I can't imagine you being anything but a blond and I'm having trouble with Nessa being blond -she is so freakin' pretty as a brunette! One of my neighbors is a natural blond and colors her hair dark. I'm am just not that adventurous I guess. Boring old me.

All us girls going to the salon
To get our hair colored and done
Nessa's doing the switch a roo
I'm keeping my hair the color of poo
and Pop is looking blond and fun

Awww ::wipes away tear:: thanks, lover.

When it comes to my hair, 50% of people prefer it dark and the other 50% like it light. My mom doesn't want me to lighten it, lol. Luckily, my roots grow in darker, so it doesn't look funky when the regrowth emerges, but I still keep up with it every 6-ish weeks. ::sigh:: The joys of being a woman...
 
Well, I can't wait to see you - like before and after side by side -that would be cool!! I don't think any of my friends have ever done a radical make over in the hair department. Ok - well, except for my best girlfriend who went from brownish to AUBURN/RED. I mean - RED. She dyes it to match her younger son's hair who is a gingerkid. That is a hard color to pull off - your skin tone has to be just right...
 
Peaches said:
Well, I can't wait to see you - like before and after side by side -that would be cool!! I don't think any of my friends have ever done a radical make over in the hair department. Ok - well, except for my best girlfriend who went from brownish to AUBURN/RED. I mean - RED. She dyes it to match her younger son's hair who is a gingerkid. That is a hard color to pull off - your skin tone has to be just right...

I took my before pic tonight because I KNEW I'd forget to do it tomorrow, LOL. See, I use do my hair auburn and people LOVED it because it went so well with my skin, but I hate reddish hair on me now and would never go back to it. I try to stick with stuff that looks natural on moi.
 
Peaches said:
Brown, blond, black or red
Nessa would look bootiful with any of it on her head
I guess she'll be a blond for now
Wonder if she'll color her brow?
I'd do her....that's what he said....

hee hee...couldn't get a good rhymie for that last line....

LOL! Yanno, I started thinking about having to lighten my eyebrows. Can't be looking like Bert from Sesame Street.

Last line should say "I'd do her, now get in that bed"! :ylol2:
 
I love brunettes and blondes
Redheads and bald heads,
But not like i love my moms,
That would be wrong.
Cause I'm cool like the Fonz'....hey

This is my first attempt at limericks. Be nice or no dice.
 
Ahhh Mikie's in da house...

OK buddy - here are "the rules" as shown to me by the limericker uno
Lines 1,2 and 5 need to rhyme at the end
lines 3 and 4 need to rhyme at the end. If you get stuck (here is my itsy bitsy secret - don't tell anyone) go to www.rhymer.com for some word hints.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!
 
line 1,2,and 5 rhyme. line 3 and 4 rhyme!

Good try!!

Mike up in the thread
Talking about hair on heads
Where's lishyloo
She could surely show you
That bald is beautiful instead!
 
Mikies in da house
Will good limericking he espouse?
Will he be good?
Or will it sound like it's from the hood (which could still be good!)
If not, he'll creep away like an itty bitty mouse
 
I'm not partial to hair
As long as shes got a pair
Little ones or big ones, makes no matter to me
As long as there aren't three
Even then it would be up in the air!
 
Mark33180 said:
I'm not creative to think of anything
MARK!! (hee hee)

listen - I know it seems difficult - but seriously - it's not once you get the hang of it - you start thinking of them in your sleep. Just think of some smart ass line you want to start off with like

Mark thinks he is so cute

Then I usually fill in the next two ending rhyming words for line 2 and 5

hoot
boot

Then I fill in those three lines

Mark thinks he is so cute
The girls all think that he is a hoot
Cute and a limericker to boot!

Now I go back and fill in lines 3 and 4 that need to rhyme with each other

Mark thinks he is so cute
The girls all think that he is a hoot
With great hair
He is so debonair!
Cute and a limericker to boot!


and you are DONE! If you do it three of four times - then it becomes like second nature and you begin spending way too much time in here talking way too much smack!! After a while you can just write them in order as they come...
 
Mike I forgot one rule
It's one that is pretty cool
You must mail me a beer
From the state you live in (or near :) )
It's to help with my, um, school!
 
mwb3779 said:
I'm not partial to hair
As long as shes got a pair
Little ones or big ones, makes no matter to me
As long as there aren't three
Even then it would be up in the air!
nailed it!
 
mwb3779 said:
I'm not partial to hair
As long as shes got a pair
Little ones or big ones, makes no matter to me
As long as there aren't three
Even then it would be up in the air!
:ylol2: you are a NATURAL!!
 
There's no itty-bitty here
Just to be clear
Even if I was from the hood
I still stand where I stood
Now I'm off into the wild frontier!
 
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