Limericks to choose from

[fenway1971]

You ladies are too cute and sassy to be sad,
Grab your hats and dance like mad.
Jump around,
Act like clowns,
Make today the best day you ever had.

 

[Guest1]

Vanessa, we need to meet in real life....We've both been home with kids too long. Hey, Dan's home with a kid too, but he's not sad....Limericks are the highlight of my day.

I agree! We can drink cocktails while writing Limericks about watching soaps all day, eating bon bons and driving minivans with old Happy Meal boxes crunched under the seats with fruit flies.

 

[fenway1971]

Dance a polka, dance a jig,
Grab some shine and take a swig.
Sing out loud,
You'll be on the 9th cloud,
And your smiles will return real big.

 

[imisspopcorn]

I agree! We can drink cocktails while writing Limericks about watching soaps all day, eating bon bons and driving minivans with old Happy Meal boxes crunched under the seats with fruit flies.

I found a raisin under the seat the other day, it was originally a grape. That's why I want a car wash once a week for a year. My Tahoe is a compost area on wheels. (I'm doing something good for the environment )

 

[Guest1]

You ladies are too cute and sassy to be sad,
Grab your hats and dance like mad.
Jump around,
Act like clowns,
Make today the best day you ever had.

You big freakin' mushball!

Fenny always makes me smile
For me it's definitely been a while
The guy makes me snort
What a great man of support
So c'mon and spit some Limericks with style!

 

[Guest1]

I found a raisin under the seat the other day, it was originally a grape. That's why I want a car wash once a week for a year. My Tahoe is a compost area on wheels. (I'm doing something good for the environment )

The other day I caught my toddler munching on a Cheeto. I couldn't tell you the last time we had those here... :eek2:

 

[imisspopcorn]

You ladies are too cute and sassy to be sad,
Grab your hats and dance like mad.
Jump around,
Act like clowns,
Make today the best day you ever had.

I'd be calling you from the state hospital....my family would think I finally went over the edge. "Fen, come get me. You told me to dance like a clown, it's all your fault."...You'd bail me out right...???

 

[imisspopcorn]

The other day I caught my toddler munching on a Cheeto. I couldn't tell you the last time we had those here... :eek2:

How about petrified French fries??? Those will chip a tooth.

 

[DanSJVDavis]

Hey, Dan's home with a kid too, but he's not sad...

I live within the fantasy realms of me mind. The only thing that has me frequently irritated is the constant mess in here. Makes me feel like if I were to keep up with it every day I'd never get anything else done.

Oh, and the cold sucks. Sucky, sucky cold. Me and temperature extremes don't get along.

Many worlds in my head it seems
But I really hate temp extremes
The house is a mess
I must surely confess
But at least I'm following my dreams

 

[Guest1]

How about petrified French fries??? Those will chip a tooth.

:ylol2:

I have a "no food outside of the kitchen" rule, but no one follows it. I don't even know why I bother half of the time, lol.

 

[fenway1971]

I'd be calling you from the state hospital....my family would think I finally went over the edge. "Fen, come get me. You told me to dance like a clown, it's all your fault."...You'd bail me out right...???

In the mail,
Fen would send bail.
To keep you from going in,
The looney bin,
Or maximum security jail.

 

[imisspopcorn]

I live within the fantasy realms of me mind. The only thing that has me frequently irritated is the constant mess in here. Makes me feel like if I were to keep up with it every day I'd never get anything else done.

Oh, and the cold sucks. Sucky, sucky cold. Me and temperature extremes don't get along.

Many worlds in my head it seems
But I really hate temp extremes
The house is a mess
I must surely confess
But at least I'm following my dreams

Move out west to Vegas...It's a balmy 70 degrees right now.

Here I sit eating Tolberone
Yum, it sure does beat bologna
My house needs a good scrub
Who else is in this club?
Well, at least my butt's not boney

 

[Guest1]

The house is not an entire mess
It could look better though, I confess
Paula Deen's chicken n' dumps for dinner (shuddup, Fen LOL)
I cook like a winner
Will it put me on the toilet? I can only guess...

 

[fenway1971]

Pop eating candy,
where the weather is dandy.
Come to DC,
meet crohnies who are crazy,
Bring shot glasses - they'll come in handy.

 

[fenway1971]

Nessa cooks like Deen,
who's a celeb I have seen.
In my hotel room they said "Holla!
We are snapping pics of Paula"
and then delayed my check in.

 

[Guest1]

Nessa cooks like Deen,
who's a celeb I have seen.
In my hotel room they said "Holla!
We are snapping pics of Paula"
and then delayed my check in.

:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:

 

[fenway1971]

There are 2.6 million,
People living in Brooklyn.
I couldn't have laughed any hahdah,
when I learned that the same number live in all of Nevada!
Holy shit...I guess we are all crammed in!

Isn't that an interesting fact?

 

[Peaches]

Fen is quite shocked
that he lives in a packed up pahking lot
stacked 12 high
all the way to the sky
He should move to Nevada where it's hot!

 

[imisspopcorn]

There are 2.6 million,
People living in Brooklyn.
I couldn't have laughed any hahdah,
when I learned that the same number live in all of Nevada!
Holy shit...I guess we are all crammed in!

Isn't that an interesting fact?

Are you coming to live with me *wink*? Is that why your researching Nevada?? 300 days of sunshine in Las Vegas. BTW, It's pretty much a sin to pronounce Nevada like hahdah....The 'A' is pronounced like "at". Don't worry, I'll take care of you

 

[shazamataz]

Food from funny places
Going into little kid's faces
An ancient french fry?
'Hey, I'll give it a try.'
If they bite too hard they'll need braces!

 

[Guest1]

Eight days and counting until my Dallas trip
It's been a while since I've seen an airstrip
We're ready for a cocktail
And lots of blackmail
D-town is the place to celebrate a friendship!

 

[Peaches]

Dallas is a GREAT place
I grew up in that space
Loved the city
and could also act like a hillbilly
Hope your time there is ace!

 

[fenway1971]

Are you coming to live with me *wink*? Is that why your researching Nevada?? 300 days of sunshine in Las Vegas. BTW, It's pretty much a sin to pronounce Nevada like hahdah....The 'A' is pronounced like "at". Don't worry, I'll take care of you

Nevada, Nevada <-- (pronounced your way then may way)
Tomato, Tomata,
Let's call the whole thing off,
Pop's starting to scoff,
Cuz I'm dumb and she's smahtah.

Can't find the link. But saw a map that compared population of NYC boroughs to states. Brooklyn = Nevada. Manhattan = Idaho. Bronx = Maine. I don't remember the others.

 

[Guest1]

Well shiznizzle, I've been saying it wrong the whole time, but it's okay since I'm not a native, LOL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmUf9FDUOTk

 

[imisspopcorn]

That's how how we weed out the visitors....then we take all their money in the casinos.

 

[farm]

I thought it was said like Knee-vad-er ?

 

[imisspopcorn]

I thought it was said like Knee-vad-er ?

That's where Darth Vader is from???

 

[farm]

Possibly.
So all my trips to Reno I was calling the state by a totally wrong name huh? hmmm.

 

[DanSJVDavis]

So.................I wonder how the natives that named it pronounce it. Would the Native Americans that live there now say it differently than the pale faces that say if you say it Nevahdah then you don't live there? hrmmm....

 

[imisspopcorn]

So are you a native???? It's the "A" that's pronunced wrong...NevAda.

 

[DanSJVDavis]

Nope, I'm likely descended from one of them damn usurpers, just like most everybody else. Though, it's not too big a deal, I don't pronounce Ohio like the natives did either. ...then again, I don't pronounce it like most Ohioans do.

 

[farm]

What about the rule where you drop the A and add ER?

 

[fenway1971]

What about the rule where you drop the A and add ER?

That's a massachusetts thing. Drop R's where they're supposed to be and add'em where they ain't.

 

[farm]

Down here we drop the A's and ER! Well, come to think of it we drop everything and add er.

Like Fenner.

 

[Guest1]

Down here we drop the A's and ER! Well, come to think of it we drop everything and add er.

Like Fenner.

I think I'm going to start calling you Farm the Cable Guy...

 

[farm]

Oh hell no! Anything but that!!

 

[farm]

I've had a bad case of the runs
Trust me it's no fun
I try to overpower
And when I jump in the shower
DAMN IT, I ain't done!

 

[Guest1]

Everyone meet Farm the Cable Guy
He talks like a hick and that is no lie
He rides a horse named Cheyenne
And eats cayenne
He is my brother and is just sweet as pie

 

[farm]

mmmm, pie!

 

[farm]

Fen told me to drink #2
I hope he meant beer and not poo
I'll try it out
And give you a shout
Please tell me you didn't mean doo doo!

 

[fenway1971]

LMAO.

Yes, Farm, that's beer and not poo,
else i'd have said EAT #2.
But that would be absurd,
To tell my friend to munch on terd.
Stick to beer - it's good for you.

 

[farm]

the rhyme so nice, you posted it twice! LOL

You can't eat my poo
It's all liquid and shew!
But I'm glad to know
You meant beer bro
I wouldn't want to sample doo doo

 

[Peaches]

This all sounds so Austin Powers
With drinking of poo and wild flowers
Is it nutty?
Do you like it buddy?
Eek, I would just stand in the corner and cower!

 

[fenway1971]

My flight has a delay
and I'm full of dismay,
I'm in seat 14b
and the guy next to me,
hasn't showered in at least a day.

PU!

 

[Guest1]

My flight has a delay
and I'm full of dismay,
I'm in seat 14b
and the guy next to me,
hasn't showered in at least a day.

PU!

:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:

 

[fenway1971]

I'm gonna gag,
where's the barf bag.
A living hell,
with this smell,
this delay is more than a drag.

 

[Peaches]

Tomorrow I go to the mountains
I will probably get to see some fountains
Going to Biltmore Estate
I hope it will be great
But from picture taking I will have to abstain

The b@stards don't let you take pics inside the house....grrr!

 

[Guest1]

Tell that man to take a shower
Or you'll have to bust out your Batman power
Spray him with some Axe
Then kick back and relax
Soon that mofo will smell like a flower

 

[Peaches]

:ylol2:

 

[farm]

Tomorrow I go to the mountains
I will probably get to see some fountains
Going to Biltmore Estate
I hope it will be great
But from picture taking I will have to abstain

The b@stards don't let you take pics inside the house....grrr!

Hmm, that's close to my neck of the woods. You coming up 40?

 

[Guest1]

Tomorrow Nessa might possibly get snow
I better put a beanie on my afro
Will I freeze my ass off
Or end up with a cough
I might shake like a big ol' dildo

 

[farm]

Tomorrow Nessa might possibly get snow
I better put a beanie on my afro
Will I freeze my ass off
Or end up with a cough
I might shake like a big ol' dildo

ROTFLMAO!!!

You couldn't say jello huh? Had to go there!

 

[imisspopcorn]

Tomorrow Nessa might possibly get snow
I better put a beanie on my afro
Will I freeze my ass off
Or end up with a cough
I might shake like a big ol' dildo

:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:
Nessa's teeth will be a chattering
Sound's like it's time for a good plastering(alcohol)
Her vibrator will need some heat
Better keep it under a sheet
If it is frozen and breaks, there will be a shattering

 

[Guest1]

ROTFLMAO!!!

You couldn't say jello huh? Had to go there!

Hey, it was the first word that popped into my head! How could I not use it? :ylol2:

 

[farm]

Lmao

 

[Guest1]

:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:
Nessa's teeth will be a chattering
Sound's like it's time for a good plastering(alcohol)
Her vibrator will need some heat
Better keep it under a sheet
If it is frozen and breaks, there will be a shattering

:ylol2:

Poor Big V is now single
Guess this means it's time to mingle
Who would've thought
That she needs some moonshots
And a big vibrating toy that'll make her tingle

Oh wow, debating if I should hit send or not...

HERE I GO! ::clicks and hides::

 

[imisspopcorn]

Diamonds are NOT a girls best friend
This info I will defend
Some guys are intimidated
When they should be elated
Now girls don't have to orgasm for pretend

I got your back sista!!!! I'm just sayin'....

 

[Guest1]

Diamonds are NOT a girls best friend
This info I will defend
Some guys are intimidated
When they should be elated
Now girls don't have to orgasm for pretend

I got your back sista!!!! I'm just sayin'....

:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:

 

[DanSJVDavis]

Diamonds are NOT a girls best friend
This info I will defend
Some guys are intimidated
When they should be elated
Now girls don't have to orgasm for pretend

I got your back sista!!!! I'm just sayin'....

:kello: huh?

 

[farm]

So batteries on your list
To send to you as a gift
Double A or car size?
Oh, I'll make it a surprise
Use a mouth piece or talk with a lisp.

 

[imisspopcorn]

:kello: huh?

Don't be all innocent...We all know about YOU and your skills...They do make good stocking stuffers.

 

[Guest1]

What woman doesn't love a good toy
It's something that both him and her can enjoy
Watch that thing vibrate
Careful boys, it might castrate
Just get one that's silent cus' the loud noise can annoy

 

[DanSJVDavis]

Don't be all innocent...We all know about YOU and your skills...They do make good stocking stuffers.

Well, they certainly stuff something....

 

[fenway1971]

What's that sound I hear
That made Farm spill his beer?
It's because,
He heard buzz buzz
And knew Pop and Nessa were full of cheer.

 

[imisspopcorn]

No batteries needed here..
Just give me a beer
Electric is the way to go
Plug it in fo' sho'
It will last for more than a year.

 

[Guest1]

It's not that I like them better than a guy
Men don't have a battery that die
I do have a favorite
Oh, how I savor it
My face is beat red and I cannot lie...

 

[Guest1]

What's that sound I hear
That made Farm spill his beer?
It's because,
He heard buzz buzz
And knew Pop and Nessa were full of cheer.

Oh...my...God...

I think Sigourney Beaver found herself a new partnah!!!

 

[farm]

LMAO WOW I've learned so much.

 

[imisspopcorn]

What's that sound I hear
That made Farm spill his beer?
It's because,
He heard buzz buzz
And knew Pop and Nessa were full of cheer.

I like your Christmas avatar...(That sounds like I'm trying to pick you up) How many Red Sock ornaments do you have???

 

[fenway1971]

Pop's into beer goggling,
And a thing for toys that are toggling.
Give her some Miller,
Her night will be a killer.
And she'll report the sex was mind boggling.

 

[imisspopcorn]

Oh...my...God...

I think Sigourney Beaver found herself a new partnah!!!

:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:

 

[Guest1]

Me thinks Popcorn owns a nice "rabbit"
It's the first one she grabs out of habit
There she goes
And off she blows
All the men just love the sound of it

 

[Guest1]

LMAO WOW I've learned so much.

It's purely educational... :ylol2:

 

[imisspopcorn]

LMAO WOW I've learned so much.

You didn't know
What gives us that glow?
We will tell you truth
No need to be a sleuth
Are you thinking...'Whoa'?

 

[Guest1]

The way to my heart is to make me a ballad
Or whatever you'd like cus' nothing's invalid
Take me to dinner
I'll think you're a winner
Just don't ask me to toss your salad

 

[imisspopcorn]

Who doesn't like a rabbit?
Keep it handy and grab it.
You have to be quiet
While using it at the Hyatt
Just make sure you recharge it.

 

[farm]

You didn't know
What gives us that glow?
We will tell you truth
No need to be a sleuth
Are you thinking...'Whoa'?

I'm kinda thinking WOW
And the thoughts in my mind right now
Would make us all blush
So I better hush
But it kinda sounds like POW!

 

[Guest1]

I have a selection and I'm cetainly not full of it
But my favorite will always be my silver bullet
It'll make ya quiver
and really shiver
I can use it just fine without the booklet

 

[fenway1971]

I thought farm disappeared from this land,
Or was he just busy with his hand.
Reading about Nessa and Pop,
Made his heart stop,
Someone could steal his shine contraband.

 

[farm]

Toys are fine you see
But a real man is what ya'll need
One to whisk you away
And praise you all of the days
To adore you would be my creed.

 

[farm]

I have a selection and I'm cetainly not full of it
But my favorite will always be my silver bullet
It'll make ya quiver
and really shiver
I can use it just fine without the booklet

Silver Bullet = Coors Light??

 

[Guest1]

Well, if having Crohn's didn't take my modesty away, this thread surely just did, LOLOL!

 

[imisspopcorn]

It's time for a cold shower
Dirty limericks have power
I hope it's water proof
It might go 'poof'
Us girls are not innocent flowers

 

[Guest1]

Silver Bullet = Coors Light??

Not quite ::cough:: http://www.babeland.com/silver-bullet-vibrator.html

 

[imisspopcorn]

Toys are fine you see
But a real man is what ya'll need
One to whisk you away
And praise you all of the days
To adore you would be my creed.

That's what they all say
Sometimes it's fun to play
.......................

 

[imisspopcorn]

FARM has left the building?????

 

[fenway1971]

Who doesn't like a rabbit?
Keep it handy and grab it.
You have to be quiet
While using it at the Hyatt
Just make sure you recharge it.

That was the 1,000th post in this thread. LMAO!!!

 

[imisspopcorn]

That was the 1,000th post in this thread. LMAO!!!

Look at the interesting turn it has taken...Hmmmm.

 

[Guest1]

FARM has left the building?????

Farm cannot hang with the women
Can't blame him he's only human
Off to dream
if you "know what I mean"
Hopefully it's nice and not about rimming

 

[imisspopcorn]

Farm cannot hang with the women
Can't blame him he's only human
Off to dream
if you "know what I mean"
Hopefully it's nice and not about rimming

Blah....:ylol2:
Nessa, he is gone...

 

[Guest1]

Look at the interesting turn it has taken...Hmmmm.

Understatement of the year! :ylol2:

 

[fenway1971]

Ladies do not need a toy,
If they're involved with the right boy.
A man with the right moves,
Can surely prove,
How to bring her lady real joy.

 

[DanSJVDavis]

Ladies do not need a toy,
If they're involved with the right boy.
A man with the right moves,
Can surely prove,
How to bring her lady real joy.

What he said.

 

[imisspopcorn]

Sexual toys are just added extra fun
By yourself or with that special someone
Some like to role play
It causes dismay
I must admit I make a hot nun

What she said!

 

[imisspopcorn]

Ladies do not need a toy,
If they're involved with the right boy.
A man with the right moves,
Can surely prove,
How to bring her lady real joy.

We were not disrespectin' anyone's skills
We really need no frills
Sometimes it's not what you think
Things just aren't in synch
It's only fair that everyone gets a thrill

 

[Guest1]

We were not disrespectin' anyone's skills
We really need no frills
Sometimes it's not what you think
Things just aren't in synch
It's only fair that everyone gets a thrill

Indeed.

 

[DanSJVDavis]

edited out by self. heh! If you wanna know ask.

 

[DanSJVDavis]

I have a feeling the limerick thread's gonna go the way of the threadosaurus deletadocus soon.:redface:

 

[farm]

I say toys are fun and fine
Women too need "private" time
Let them play
Is what I say
Everyone with their "rocks" off is mighty fine!

 

[farm]

OMG!!! You PEOPLE were very busy (and naughty) last night!!!! I have so many limericks in my head right now...but boy...I think I'll keep them to myself. Let's just say a rabbit I own as well along with my favorite waterproof toy......boy - this has turned into a tell all.....

Farmish - yes - I'm coming up 40 probably be by your way around 1:30 - 2:30 according to how late we leave LOL!

Well be sure to wave!!