Limericks to choose from

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For Ris

I don't you well
But I'm sure you're a belle
You sound like a riot
And definitely not quiet
I bet you party like hell!
 
For Fen

New York, New York
Get ready to pop the cork.
You rhyme like a master
That gets faster and faster.
I hope they don't get a torque.
 
For Farm

I understand you are helping to plan CRAP
It'll be nice for all of us to close the gap
You seem like a good guy
Who definitely won't lie
I hope its not all a trap!
 
shazamataz said:
Mike is on Limerick form
he's rhyming up a storm....

Ack, I got stuck!
Click to expand...
Its ok to get stuck
Its not because you suck.
Maybe I am in Limerick form
Cause I'm a rhyming up a storm
You just gave me something to rhyme with fuck!
 
For Peaches

What can I say?
Your rhymes definitely slay
You'd rather be healthy and not seen
I know what you mean
Still, have a great day! :)
 
For Peaches

What can I say?
Your rhymes definitely slay
You'd rather be healthy and not seen
I know what you mean
Still, have a great day! :)
 
Why did this thread have to die today?
It doesn't matter if you're straight or gay
Jump into the mix
And give me my fix
Bust out a rhyme and do as I say!
 
I did my best
Not to give this thread a rest
I was wondering the same
If it was just a game
Please someone be my guest!
 
Tonight I'll celebrate New Years Eve alone
Maybe I'll get drunk and pick up the phone
With my glass of wine
Nessa feels just fine
She has a drawer full of toys but no one to bone

Oh no she didn't just use the word BONE! Bwahaha!
 
One, two, three and four
How many more till I yack on the floor
Too much to drink
And I cannot think
Screw it...I'm off to pour
 
vshirey317 said:
Tonight I'll celebrate New Years Eve alone
Maybe I'll get drunk and pick up the phone
With my glass of wine
Nessa feels just fine
She has a drawer full of toys but no one to bone

Oh no she didn't just use the word BONE! Bwahaha!
Click to expand...
Getting drunk tonight
I hope you're doing it right
Pick up toy and have fun
Just to get the job done
Maybe Fen needs to take a flight!
 
mwb3779 said:
Getting drunk tonight
I hope you're doing it right
Pick up toy and have fun
Just to get the job done
Maybe Fen needs to take a flight!
Click to expand...

:eek2: :eek2: :eek2:

Fen is a great friend and awesome guy
He's really cute, I cannot lie
But it's not like that
We like to drink and chat
He's always there when I need a good cry
 
Poor Fen is the shoulder
We use like a boulder
The last time we talked on the phone
I cried like a baby in the zone
I bet he gets left feeling like a holder (of the cry babies ;) )

Ok, maybe not the LAST time we talked - but I did cry like a freakin' baby on the night the MG thing went down. Kinda embarrassing to think back on it - THANKS FEN for being there buddy.......
 
I should be asleep, but I'm up too early
My hair's a mess and I'm not lookin' girlie
Wish I was in bed
It's the cold weather I dread
The only peeps warm are the big and burly
 
Peaches said:
Poor Fen is the shoulder
We use like a boulder
The last time we talked on the phone
I cried like a baby in the zone
I bet he gets left feeling like a holder (of the cry babies ;) )

Ok, maybe not the LAST time we talked - but I did cry like a freakin' baby on the night the MG thing went down. Kinda embarrassing to think back on it - THANKS FEN for being there buddy.......
Click to expand...

Here's to Fenny! Our free therapy! :ladysman:
 
I slept almost *12* hours last night
If you woke me up we woulda had a fight
Woke up just long enough for the ball to drop
And to watch that idiot take his car over the bay with a hop
Now that I've had enough sleep, feel like I could go fly a kite

Damn Xyzal - still gorks me out. AND I'm still itching.......
 
My shoulder is always here,
For my friends I hold dear.
Cuz if it wasn't for you,
I don't know what I'd do,
I'd be in a bad place I fear.
 
fenway1971 said:
My shoulder is always here,
For my friends I hold dear.
Cuz if it wasn't for you,
I don't know what I'd do,
I'd be in a bad place I fear.
Click to expand...

::wipes away tear::

Hopefully your meds kill that hacking cough soon
I know it's got to suck feeling like a poon
Yay for prednisone
Now go eat a calzone
Celebrate your lungs and play a bassoon
 
fenway1971 said:
Nessa is my buddy for life,
We've shared drama and lots of strife.
She's a cutie who's full of wit,
Give her a few drinks and she's silly as shit,
Her limericks in person are sharp as a knife!
Click to expand...

Fenard sticks with me though thick and thin
He even makes me drink his gin
We'll kick it again
Needing a bailsman
Maybe he'll teach me to throw a pigskin
 
fenway1971 said:
Nessa is my buddy for life,
We've shared drama and lots of strife.
She's a cutie who's full of wit,
Give her a few drinks and she's silly as shit,
Her limericks in person are sharp as a knife!
Click to expand...

Okay, I have to throw something in for the sake of the convo since you threw in that last sentence. Was it not freakin' hilarious how we'd be at a bar, eating dinner, walking around seeing attractions and then yell, "WAIT! I got a limerick! Let's post it real quick", LOL.

No matter how drunk or sober we were
Limericks were on the mind and there was no censor
In the morning and evening
We certainly were braining
We'd hunt for rhymes until we found us an answer
 
Last edited:
You two are KILLIN' it.....

I'm beginning to think limerickin' is a sickness. I mean, when you wake up in the middle of the night and the rhymes are going...somethin' is not right!
 
Peaches said:
You two are KILLIN' it.....

I'm beginning to think limerickin' is a sickness. I mean, when you wake up in the middle of the night and the rhymes are going...somethin' is not right!
Click to expand...

::bows:: It's a shame that Fenard can't work for us girls on our limerick team. He'd be a great addition.

Sure, Fen is a little homolicious
His cologne makes him smell real delicious
Come play with the girls
We won't make you hurl
We may be sweet, but we sure are vicious

I've always wanted to do a limerick using "homolicious". Sorry you had to be my vicitim, Fen. I really do heart you! LOL
 
Peaches said:
You two are KILLIN' it.....

I'm beginning to think limerickin' is a sickness. I mean, when you wake up in the middle of the night and the rhymes are going...somethin' is not right!
Click to expand...

I limerick EVERYTHING! From grocery shopping, to picking up kids from school to paying bills. Sometimes I have to remind myself not to speak in limericks to strangers...or people who know me for that matter. I'd be sent to a loony bin, LOL.
 
WTF! Homolicuous!

LMAO...

I may dress like a metro,
wear clothes that are retro,
but I don't put my schlong,
where it don't belong,
I'm 100% male gangsta without the Afro.
 
fenway1971 said:
WTF! Homolicuous!

LMAO...

I may dress like a metro,
wear clothes that are retro,
but I don't put my schlong,
where it don't belong,
I'm 100% male gangsta without the Afro.
Click to expand...

::spew:: LMFAO!
 
fenway1971 said:
Hanging out with Nessa and me,
could become a Hangover movie,
the night would be a blur,
what the heck did occur?
Don't recall but it sure was groovy.
Click to expand...

::snort::

We sure do have the best friendship
I think it's time for another trip
To a coast or Sin City?
Together we're so witty
Bust out your fireman hat and get ready to strip
 
Being on prednisone sure does suck,
I'm running around the house like Daffy Duck.
Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo!
I'm going cuckoo cuckoo
My heart's pounding like big mac truck.
 
At least you'll get a whole lot done
The prednisone buzz can be quite fun
Unless you want to sleep
The insomnia can make you weep
But better than having a leaky bum!
 
The prednisone life
Always causes me strife
It'll kick the coughs ass
On sleep you may have to pass
But it beats being under the knife!
 
Prednisone is like crack,
One pill and you're ready to attack.
I'll be awake until three,
Someone keep me company.
Wish I were tired and could hit the sack.
 
Fen needs a shot of rum or a sleeping pill
Perhaps a jog on the old treadmill
Time to go night-night
No putting up a fight
If you want to crash hard just turn on Dr. Phil
 
I'm here for you Fen
To the factor of ten
I'm always awake
With a gut/ butt ache
I've been up since I don't remember when.
 
Up late and I cannot sleep
I guess I could always try and count sheep
Jamming Avenged Sevenfold
Their drummer died, so I was told :(
Now I'll mope around and weep
 
vshirey317 said:
Up late and I cannot sleep
I guess I could always try and count sheep
Jamming Avenged Sevenfold
Their drummer died, so I was told :(
Now I'll mope around and weep
Click to expand...
Are you still awake?
Is it because of an ache?
I hope you get a nap
Before you snap.
Too bad you couldn't go give it a shake!
 
I'm having another rough day
Did I overdo it yesterday?
Sore muscles in my butt
And a cramping up gut
I wish this would all go away :(
 
Apparently Fen crashed and left everyone else awake
To contemplate what a crazy mess he did make
Did he clean the house
As good as a house mouse
Or maybe he made us all a wonderful cake!
 
shazamataz said:
I'm having another rough day
Did I overdo it yesterday?
Sore muscles in my butt
And a cramping up gut
I wish this would all go away :(
Click to expand...

So sorry you are not feeling well
Maybe you just need a ringing of your bell ;)
Are you off the pred yet
Did you start that other yucky med yet?
I hope today you aren't in butt hell :(
 
Shaz is feeling blue,
wish I could help too.
If it were up to Fen,
we'd all be cured in 2010,
and no longer struggle with poo.
 
There once was a girl whose name was Cris
she likes to takes lots of poops and piss
in Washington she lives
drinking martini's with olives
she's one of my faves along with Ris
 
are you sure I LIKE taking lots of poops and piss? hahaha :)

aw schucks Nessa, You're one of my favorites too! :blush: I know you only like me though because of what you called me when you called me. :ylol2:
 
misscris said:
are you sure I LIKE taking lots of poops and piss? hahaha :)

aw schucks Nessa, You're one of my favorites too! :blush: I know you only like me though because of what you called me when you called me. :ylol2:
Click to expand...

:ytongue:
 
Shaz is still on the pred
But it's nearly dead
With the odd 'episode'
It's becoming a rough road
But still scard of more serious med
 
But on a more positive note
I don't have pain or bloat
Just some cramping and D
Mostly after my tea
And at least I don't do poop that floats
 
I know we all dread
Being on the pred
But its nice when needed
Even if we haven't pleaded
But at least we'll stay fed!
 
Today is the last day of my pred
I feel so ambivalent about this med
Manic at the beginning of it
and starving by the end of it
Hopefully I'll be a non-flaring Crohnie who's well fed!
 
The Crohn's chicks have started a gang
Tagging up walls and talking slang
Poopie, Grumblah and Lil' Sharty
We know how to friggin' party
Sorry boys, this club don't allow no wang
 
Lil' Mizz Grumblah's about to have dinner
It better stay down as she can't get much thinner
When the cramps start a knockin', and the rumbling is a rockin'
A visit to the loo may produce somethin shockin'

Thats me doing a rap instead of a limerick ;)
 
Tha Crohnie's cruise in style with a drop top
You'd probably freak if you heard a loud pop
It's not our gat
It's just a poop splat
Now let's go get our tattooed teardrop!
 
shazamataz said:
Lil' Mizz Grumblah's about to have dinner
It better stay down as she can't get much thinner
When the cramps start a knockin', and the rumbling is a rockin'
A visit to the loo may produce somethin shockin'

Thats me doing a rap instead of a limerick ;)
Click to expand...

Ooh, we can do raps! LOL
 
Blazin' some dope and blarin' the rap
I'm fiesty and ready to scrap
We're hardcore like Lil' Wayne
But a tad more insane
What's that I felt? I think I just took a crap...
 
Nessa's rockin' da raps
She's hardcore with the craps
I mean the dice game
Ya'll she's got no shame
Now give her some claps....yo yo
 
vshirey317 said:
The Crohn's chicks have started a gang
Tagging up walls and talking slang
Poopie, Grumblah and Lil' Sharty
We know how to friggin' party
Sorry boys, this club don't allow no wang
Click to expand...
I'm in your club and wang I got
Its a West coast party is what we brought
Bringing it back to something real
Cause I'm bound to make you squeal
Hope I'm not interrupting your plot! :)
 
The plot is open for interrupting
So long as there is no corrupting
Like talk about wangs
And other rude thangs
Doing icky stuff like erupting!
 
Your rappin' can't match me,
I'm from the land of Mos Def and Jay-Z,
yeah, boy, Brooklyn is in da house,
bitchin' rhymes i do espouse,
just call me Notorious Bat Fenny.
 
Can't Peaches. They've formed a West Coast Crohnie gang.

No longer boys v girls. It's east coast v west coast. I'm forming a Brooklyn gang...want to join?
 
fenway1971 said:
Can't Peaches. They've formed a West Coast Crohnie gang.

No longer boys v girls. It's east coast v west coast. I'm forming a Brooklyn gang...want to join?
Click to expand...
WTH??? When did THAT happen?? You KNOW I'm in.....::flashes gang sign::
 
There was a hard gangstah whose name was Fen
He became my nemisis when he moved to Brooklyn
You may got good pizza
But we got the traitor Mike Piazza
My enemy you are, but still my best friend
 
Nessa wants to play frienemies
But with us that just don't agree
You are either with us
Or you are against us
So...on your WCC hydrant I hike my leg and PEE!!!!

EDIT: Did I really just say that?? OK - off to church - you best come up with sometin' GOOD while I'm gone B.Boy!
 
Take your Jay-Z and shove 'em up and beyond
Cuz everyone knows it's Tupac who's da bomb
California Love
OJ and his glove
West Coast is where it's at, so don't be conned!
 
To PeachyPoo I give a high five,
Go pee girl on their WCC dive.
East coast rules this place,
Our rhymes will drop them like mace,
And send them running to their bee hive.
 
Peaches said:
Nessa wants to play frienemies
But with us that just don't agree
You are either with us
Or you are against us
So...on your WCC hydrant I hike my leg and PEE!!!!

EDIT: Did I really just say that?? OK - off to church - you best come up with sometin' GOOD while I'm gone B.Boy!
Click to expand...

:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:

I'll have to think about this one for a sec! LOL
 
Faschnazzle, Faschnizzle,
your rhymes just fizzle,
Peaches and Fen,
Our rhymes are a TEN,
Come back when you're ready to sizzle.
 
Lil' Sharty's in tha houze and ready to represent
I got sumthang for ya and it ain't a present
I'll poop in your toilet
And then you'll throw a fit
It's my coast and me who own this talent
 
My Peaches is off to pray,
For your WC souls today,
Cuz while she's in church chillin',
My rappin' will be killin',
east coast rhymers can slay.
 
East coast, West coast and everything in between
It don't matter if you gots a giney or peen
We're the biggest, baddest thugs
Pred and Asacol are our drugs
We crave them like a big ol' dope fiend
 
Please warm up, I beg
My sack froze to my leg
I fixed the well
Even though it was hell
Now I'm breaking ice with a peg.
 
farm said:
Please warm up, I beg
My sack froze to my leg
I fixed the well
Even though it was hell
Now I'm breaking ice with a peg.
Click to expand...

I was trying to explain the limerick fascination to the hubster - and we were scrolling through reading Fen and Nessa's and he was sorta laughing - and then we read this one and I think it stuck - he belly laughed!
 
fenway1971 said:
My Peaches is off to pray,
For your WC souls today,
Cuz while she's in church chillin',
My rappin' will be killin',
east coast rhymers can slay.
Click to expand...

Ain't no amount of prayin'
Can make WCC repent of the sins they've been sayin'
Claimin' they are the best
When we ECR's know they are just like the rest
Even though we love 'em - we still like to keep baitin'!
 
vshirey317 said:
Lil' Sharty's in tha houze and ready to represent
I got sumthang for ya and it ain't a present
I'll poop in your toilet
And then you'll throw a fit
It's my coast and me who own this talent
Click to expand...
I gots a present for you delivered by Fahm
There's one for every toilet - it's called a cherry bomb
It'll leave you with no where to go
And your rhymes will flow no mo'
Cuz you'll be doing the Frankenstein all the way to Guam!

Peace out Lil' Sharty with a big shartin' problem on your hands!!
 
Say Hey to Lil' Shizzle
Enough with your drizzle
West coast's got class
East Coast has just got gas
And their rhymes have lost their sizzle.
 
Peaches said:
I gots a present for you delivered by Fahm
There's one for every toilet - it's called a cherry bomb
It'll leave you with no where to go
And your rhymes will flow no mo'
Cuz you'll be doing the Frankenstein all the way to Guam!

Peace out Lil' Sharty with a big shartin' problem on your hands!!
Click to expand...

OMG! LMFAO!!!
 
Go get some butter Lil' Shizzle
And on your popcorn let it drizzle
Then sit and stare at the bowl
Knowing you can't eat it fool
East Coasters rhymes are as good as that popcorn - and you Westies can't TOUCH em'
 
Lil' Peach bout to break it off up in her
Everybody's gonna need to drink a beer
Sit back and watch the limericks fly
Going off like fireworks in the sky
East Coasters make the West Coasters shake with FEAR!!!
 
Last edited:
Peachez thinks she rules cuz she's from the East
Her bowels won't let her enjoy a royal feast
I ain't intimidated
You make me feel sedated
I'll be rhyming even after I'm deceased (like Tupac, wahoo!)
 
Goin' to Cali, I was driving on the I-15(fifteen)
You'll never guess what I seen
A big gentlemen's club bilboard
It seems Peaches is very adored
That's right, Peaches is a entertainment queen..............

The name of the club was Peaches.....I couldn't get the Steve Miller song out of my head after that. My hubby thought I fell out of my tree cuz I kept singing and laughing...
 
Peaches said:
I quite agree
Why'd the girls have to go on a fighting spree
I was having trouble keeping up with Nessa
She's a rhymer that I didn't wanna messa
I think this was a plot of the boys you see

Who started the WCC anyway?? It had to be you girls - there aren't any boys over there!! That leaves me with all da boyz!!!
Click to expand...

We should revise our gang. It shouldn't be about the coast, but against the opposite sex like the way it was old school! Well, at least the day before yesterday, LMAO!

I'm dying to have Peaches back on my team. I admit defeat -- I can't take on both you and Fen, ROFL!
 
Ladies - where the hell is Farm
He used to come here lots to do harm
And play and be silly
And talk about his willy
Is he spending too much time in the barn?
 
Peaches said:
Eww, it is true I guess
Apparently I have a Gentlemen's club I must confess (http://www.peachesgentlemenclub.com/)
but when I see those young girl's I think "oh brother"
"If she were to see you what would she think - your mother??"
But I'm sure they could buy their mother a batmobile - what a mess!

Maybe we could send Fen there and swing him the other way LOL :O)
Click to expand...


Peaches, your gangsta name just came to me....The Gangsta of love....Do you get the reference?
 
Peaches said:
Ladies - where the hell is Farm
He used to come here lots to do harm
And play and be silly
And talk about his willy
Is he spending too much time in the barn?
Click to expand...

There once was a man name Farm
In the barn he could do a lot of harm
He would tickle the sheep
And make them bleet
I guess it's easier that way on the forearm???
 
OMG - did anyone see Dirty Jobs last night??? Mike Rowe was castrating sheep with......his.....mouth!! I was laughing so hard (at him) I almost peed myself. The rancher dude said "Man...you've done dirty jobs than THIS" and he was like "NO...No I haven't!!". It was the most disgusted I have ever seen him.
 
Peaches said:
OMG - did anyone see Dirty Jobs last night??? Mike Rowe was castrating sheep with......his.....mouth!! I was laughing so hard (at him) I almost peed myself. The rancher dude said "Man...you've done dirty jobs than THIS" and he was like "NO...No I haven't!!". It was the most disgusted I have ever seen him.
Click to expand...

What the...:eek2: LOL!
 
Fen has has been doing isotonics
Daffy duck is now bionic?
Watch the feathers fly
As he swoops down from the sky
Yum, is that duck organic?
 
Lil' Mizz Grublah's back on line
Seems you lot have been poppin out rhymes
Still girlz vs Boyz
We'll snap them like toyz
Cuz they have no idea that we are so fine
 
When it's cold outside,
Not a good time to freeball ride,
In a blink,
They might freeze and clink,
And you'd lose your pride.
 
Looking back in retrospect
they didn't give those poor sheep no respect
And it was the grossest thing on TV
I have seen in modern memory
Although Rowe did apologize to the sheep he did inspect

You could tell that it really bothered him to do it - from the grossness factor and I could tell he really didn't like to harm them either.
 
Holy shit what did I miss?
I take a nap and a piss
It went from coast vs. coast
Back to which sex rocks the most?
I'm sorry ladies you must be remiss.
 

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