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I'm serious about the beer
Just to be clear
So pick one out
And ship it down south
To drink after I hunt deer.
 
Mike is officially down with the flow
He bettah stay and never go
He'll bust out a rhyme
Just in time
Watch out, folks, cuz he might have some ammo!
 
Nessa is hot
M&M's she's got
But that isn't mamma's milk
It's about zits in bra's of silk
Save the milk for your tots
 
Of course I'm a natural
Please don't be bashful
A beer's in the mail
Please drink it on the trail
If not please be carfeul!

This is really fun.
 
farm said:
Nessa is hot
M&M's she's got
But that isn't mamma's milk
It's about zits in bra's of silk
Save the milk for your tots
Click to expand...

nah nah nah.....you aren't gonna start with the zits again are you???
 
farm said:
Nessa is hot
M&M's she's got
But that isn't mamma's milk
It's about zits in bra's of silk
Save the milk for your tots
Click to expand...

Holy crap ::spew:: :ylol2:

Farm loves to nickname my huge rack
They just might give him a heart attack
It's all in good fun
So please don't shun
Don't worry, Fam's wife -- he doesn't want me in the sack
 
Those hens always cackle
When limericks they try to tackle
But they come up lame
It's always the same
Maybe they could spread some Spackle..
 
I am down with the flow
I'm a conservative, don't you know
No I'm not down with Obama
He's just causing drama
I hope 2010 isn't gonna blow.
 
Farm is naturally predified
Keeps him from acting all petrified
When he sees me and Nessa coming
For the back door he starts running
Cuz he knows with our sweet limies he's gonna collide
 
I love made-up words
Some are so absurd
But when in the grime
They sure make a rhyme
Too bad we all met because of turds!
 
Farm whats going on
These girls think we must be gone
I'm not scared of Nessa or Peaches
They wish they were watching beaches (sniff)
I not done singing my song!
 
I'm not touchin' politics with a ten foot pole
Cuz the fighting that would ensue would hurt my soul
Whether you are on the left or right
The bait I will not bite
Least I fall into a great big ugly hole!
 
Sorry for the political rants
Sometimes its just my chants
I'm worried for the country
Its gonna be bumpy
Oh no, I just crapped in my pants!

What'd you want from me, it rhymed! :D
 
Crap the pants is a shart
Bringing meat out with the fart
We've all done it once or twice
I may have done it thrice
It's not a competition to start.
 
I leave for a couple of minutes
And the rhymes turn to toots
The girls rock da limerick house
And make the boys scurry like a mouse
Now play your booty flutes
 
Where have you been?
In bed again?
You gotta get up
And get you a cup
You gotta have coffee to face Fen!
 
I can't stop rhyming in all that I do
I think, am I still a newb?
Then I remember
This isn't September
I know why I poo like a do.
 
There's no rest for the weary
So stand up and be cheery
If you're hurt and on your rump
Go take a dump
And yes that's my theory!
 
What a great day,
Mike's joined the fray,
Proving to the chicks,
The best limerickers have di..s,
High fivers and chest bumps today!
 
D#cks and brain size
Does not give you the limerick prize
It takes a little sass
to kick some ass
Start again, I advise.
 
Ladies let me tell you
You may think we men are askew
But we only thrive
Because you're alive
Otherwise we'd be cuckoo!
 
I guess I'll join back in this thread
Even though I have no limerick head
Mike's joined the boys
But us girls make more noise
And will always be one step ahead
 
I'm glad this thread ain't dead
I like that its coed
Our ladies are so cute
I'll stand up and salute
That I really like head!
 
Mike likes head?
My face has gone red
I know not what you mean
I am a girl who's mind is clean
I don't understand what he said ;)
 
I'm sure you know what I mean
Stop pretending its not routine
It should never be blue
Or any other hue
And never obscene!
 
It's HOW that I can't rquite emember
Too long since I've even seen a member
But I shall not complain
One day I'll get lain
Lets hope its before next December!
 
shazamataz said:
It's HOW that I can't rquite emember
Too long since I've even seen a member
But I shall not complain
One day I'll get lain
Lets hope its before next December!
Click to expand...
That really is a shame
I hope these limericks aren't lame
One day soon you'll remember
What to do with that member
"Now I remember!" you will exclaim!
 
Mike is gettin' naughty with the rhymes
It didn't take him long to keep time
He popped his cherry
Us girls better be wary
Thankfully naughty poetry isn't a crime
 
I woke up at 4,
can't sleep anymore.
These rhymes make me chuckle,
you ladies are sweet as honeysuckle,
but the boys limericks are hardcore.

Mike's a fan of the seahawks,
at pretty ladies he gawks,
I think that's cool,
he ain't no fool,
they're cute in their blonde, brunette and red locks.
 
Poor Fen is awake in the dark
So, he's come to this thread for a lark
He has such a cough
and is feeling quite off
I am sure he will make his mark
 
If I could just numb my throat,
swallow calmoseptine to give it a coat?
I'm open to ideas - crazy or sane,
nothing to lose, only would gain,
come up with choices and we'll vote.
 
How about sucking an icicle?
That may get rid of the tickle.
Why not have a go
if there's plenty of snow?
It may get you out of your pickle!
 
Fen I wish you well
Coughing so much hurts like hell
Try the ice
It may be nice
What's that smell?
 
Good morning to all
As you see I'll play ball
I'm not afraid to let the words fly
To the men we must ally
The ladies seem to be AWOL.
 
Farm, Fen and Mike,
assassin poets who strike.
Pick a word,
our rhymes aren't absurd,
like the three muskateers - what's not to like?
 
Its one for all and all for one
We just like to have fun
I'll make a rhyme
And not expect a dime
But always get it done!
 
Moaning is what you want?
You know we can flaunt
Let's see the flow
We know how you blow
Just don't daunt!
 
Fen thinks women belong in the kitchen
"Make me my food and quityerbitchin'"!
Kidding, he's really a ten
And a good gentleman
Just go to the other room when his butt starts itchin'
 
Last edited:
Fen ain't no 10
He'll dump you in a bin
If with limericks you challenge him
The milk he's using ain't skim!
He'll smack you down like SIN....

see, bitsy off today.....
 
Nessa is my limerickin' pal
Pop comes in and shows them how
to tuck their tales
And pitch their sails
So the ladies can take a bow
 
Fen may come off as nice and sweet
But Limericks make him ready to compete
A man of power he is
And a mathematical whiz
But the girls got this one -- sorry for the defeat
 
Hee hee.......brang it Fenard!!! Oops - in true P-infinity-X speak - BRING IT! LOL - what is P90X - I found these DVDs the other day....seem familiar....but yet.......(sorry - that is directed AT Fen...he'll get it)
 
Peaches said:
Hee hee.......brang it Fenard!!!
Click to expand...

:ylol2:

I love my Fenard and his balls of steel
But it's time for us to get down and real
Him rhymes are okay
A bit like childsplay
When I call him a poon, he lets out a squeal!
 
What am I chopped liver?
Don't you forget that I can deliver?
Being a guy is the winning standard
You women remember we aren't just here to be pandered
Just thought of me delivering makes you quiver.
 
Sorry Mike, it's with Fen I like to flirt
However it's time for me to avert
Shoo with your scrotum
You're at the bottom of the totem (your rhymes, LOL)
Don't get this chick angry or she'll have to assert!
 
This board is full of fabulous men
And then the girls come in with a win
I love all of you guys
Even tho you make mudpies
Hating you so would just be a sin
 
You know what they say
Girls like to have a roll in the hay
It doesn't matter who with
As long as they bring a good fifth
Girls like to play!
 
Thank you Nessa. It has been my pleasure to rhyme with the best, Farm and Fen please take a bow.
 
Sorry I was taken away
I won't delay
I hope to see Nessa get mighty
Cause I heard she gets flighty
Can we get one today?
 
The boys aren't afraid
cause we know that we're made
You girls are trying
but you're surely dying
We just want to get laid!
 
Now I think they're running
Because we are simply stunning
Is Fen still playing?
I'm just saying.
Or am I just getting a shunning?
 
mwb3779 said:
The boys aren't afraid
cause we know that we're made
You girls are trying
but you're surely dying
We just want to get laid!
Click to expand...

:ylol2:

C'mon boys and be a good sport
Surely you have a good retort
Get your brain workin'
And get us women jerkin'
If you surrender, I'll get you a nice escort
 
I'm glad you like to jerk,
I say with a smirk
I always a comeback
I'm no hack
Now be a good girl and get to work.
 
Fen claims he's off at work
Truth is he's gone beserk
Can't hang with the big dogs
And thinks we're all hogs
He'll return soon enough, read these and smirk
 
fenway1971 said:
LMAO!!!

Nessa deserves a peck on the cheek,
for sweet rhymes about this math geek.
With politeness out of the way,
I can jump up and say,
when you pour her a drink make it weak!
Click to expand...

:ylol2:

Just because I wanted to walk up nine flights of stairs means nothing!
 
So Fen's a math whiz?
I wonder is that a business of his?
Nessa and I can hold it down
While you go and paint the town.
It is what it is.
 
So Nessa's a lightweight
When she goes on a date?
Fen I try to be funny
Just for the money
Yes, I know I'm great.
 
Rumor has it Fen's really a gigalow
Drinks martini's and snorts a lot of blow
He makes his money
Slaps your ass and calls you "honey"
Then he'll hand you a dollar and say "here's your dough"!
 
vshirey317 said:
Rumor has it Fen's really a gigalow
Drinks martini's and snorts a lot of blow
He makes his money
Slaps your ass and calls you "honey"
Then he'll hand you a dollar and say "here's your dough"!
Click to expand...
WOW!
 
mwb3779 said:
So Nessa's a lightweight
When she goes on a date?
Fen I try to be funny
Just for the money
Yes, I know I'm great.
Click to expand...

If you really want to know how it went down, go back and start on page 36, LOL!
 
What's a matter, you afraid to debate?
Or have you already found your mate?
It's ok, I understand
Its ok to be bland.
You must have a lot on your plate.
 
I must get off this AOL
It really is my own personal hell
It's almost time for lunch
Don't miss me too much
I'll surely feel like a cow -- where's my bell?
 
I've been reading a lot
Vanessa sounds hot
What's going on, How did miss all of this?
Its totally bliss
Maybe she not...
 
Mike - you are good, but I have to give Nessa kudos today for holding down the fort - she is ON today!!!! Keep swimming Mike - there is a bunch of history in the limericks....sometimes hard to compete with - but the story will get written with you in it...just keep swimming :O)
 
Nessa is high on life
With sarcasm she is rife
It makes for rhymes that rock
So you best not mock
Or in your back will be a knife!

eh..violence is not the answer!!
 
It has been pretty fun. Not bad for a beginner.

Nessa is on it. I must admit.
But that won't make me quit.
The story of life will be written
I hope I'm not bitten.
I will continue to spill out this shit!
 
mwb3779 said:
I've been reading a lot
Vanessa sounds hot
What's going on, How did miss all of this?
Its totally bliss
Maybe she not...
Click to expand...

I'm kind of a big deal around here
When I walk in, everyone does a cheer!
In person I'm really shy
I cannot tell a lie
But that flies out the window as soon as I get a beer
 
Last edited:
fenway1971 said:
Nessa turned it up a notch,
Must be the itch in her crotch.
I ain't no gigalow,
and she's no crack ho,
just keep her away from the scotch.
Click to expand...

::spew::

There ain't no yeast brewing down there
That'll give any woman a big ol' scare
Monistat seven
Feels like heaven
Those things will make even a modest woman swear!
 
Mike's a natural poet,
and he didn't even know it.
Helping the boys dish dirt,
at those who wear a skirt,
give the ladies coke and they'll blow it.
 
We don't need no coke to have energy
Get us girls together for some good synergy
Well stomp you into the ground
Leaving barely a mound
They'll have to scrape you up with a squeegee
 
Gee, I always seem to miss a lot
When I am in bed and you guys are not
While I do slumber
The rhymes are huge in number
It's hard to keep up with the plot!
 
You ain't lyin' there Shaz
Taken over the thread Mike has
He made more work for us girls
To keep on dishin' the hurls
We are gonna have to give him a big razz!
 
Mike has definately gotten the bug,
He's now addicted like a drug
The boys think they're hot,
But it's us girls that rock
So those boys better not get too smug
 
Nessa has her work cut out for her tonight
This evening she will put together 300 wedding invites
What a good friend I am
Cramming like a college exam
Can't wait to see my bestie in the spotlight!
 
Yikes! 300 guests?
That's a bit of stress,
Not to mention expensive
The list is quite extensive
how kine you are to help her Ness!
 
shazamataz said:
Yikes! 300 guests?
That's a bit of stress,
Not to mention expensive
The list is quite extensive
how kine you are to help her Ness!
Click to expand...

I know! I'm going to be so sick and tired of paper by the time this is all done and over with, lol. I figure tonight after the kids are in bed, I'll lay everything out on my bed, pour a glass of wine and get to work. Until then, I'll just sit here online. :X
 
All of us crohnies are hotties,
Just check out our faces and bodies.
Despite our decorum,
This is one good looking forum,
Even when we're chained to our potties.
 
It's true the IBDers are a good looking bunch
Genetics are the reason or at least it's my hunch
Our bowels may not work
It's part of our perk
But if we're crapping our pants don't offer us lunch
 
If being good looking gives you the Crohnie gene
I'd take being dog bone ugly, that'd be keen
Then I wouldn't be sick
or bloated as a tick
I'd rather be healthy and not seen......
 
Whether its a pill or the shot
Surgeries or not
We all stick together
Like birds of a feather
And yes our women are hot!
 
So whos gonna rhyme
With this master of time?
I guess I'll wait
For my perfect mate
To commit the perfect crime.
 
I wish I could bust out a rhyme tonight
The computer screen is killin' my sight
Off to bed I go
And not to be a ho
I'll be in la la land dreaming of Mr. Right

Good grief, see how sucky I get the more sleep deprived I get? G'night, limerickers! I'll be waking up expecting some posts!
 
For Shaz

Hello from up above
This is my sign of the dove
A good friend of mine you are
I'd love to see you in a bar
and show you some love.
 
That's nice of you to say
when i'm feeling this way
Life's a little blue
But then I have all of you
And, well, tomorrow is another day! (and another year Yay!)
 
For Nessa

Mr. Right you will find
I know he'll be kind
Light hair or dark
Definitely not a shark
And hopefully not blind!
 
shazamataz said:
That's nice of you to say
when i'm feeling this way
Life's a little blue
But then I have all of you
And, well, tomorrow is another day! (and another year Yay!)
Click to expand...
This is a good one Shaz!
 

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