Missing School

[Katrina9]

I just joined this forum. My daughter is 15 and first had symptoms in November 2015 and was diagnosed with UC in December 2015. She missed over a month of school; even after the loose, bloody stools stopped, she said she was in too much pain to go. There is an emotional component: she did not want any friends or teachers or administrators know about her illness. She "broke down" and then even when the pain lessened - she is on Asacol - she couldn't face going back. She never before had probs in school. She also has a mood disorder and had been hospitalized at 13 to become stable. She asked to go back to the psych hospital and was inpatient for a week and outpatient for 2 weeks.

She started back to school last week and we were optimistic. She started having loose stools again yesterday and pain and now is home.

As her mom, I just don't know whether to force her to go to school with pain - which is my instinct - but, also, with her mood disorder, she digs in more.

She is a good student and the school is accommodating her a great deal.

I'm wondering: how do you decide when your child with symptoms should go to school or stay home? How do you manage the anxiety on top of that (theirs, that is). Do kids ever end up doing home school?

Her dad and I both work and so that adds a huge amount of stress not knowing from day to day if she is going, going in late, etc.

Thank you!

 

[my little penguin]

I think especially with an anxiety disorder routine is key
My Ibd kiddo goes to school even in pain period
School is not optional
This is for life and he has to be able to function on good days as well as bad
That said the school needs to know
Ds has it in his 504 plan
He wears a tens unit to school ( lowers abdominal pain)
He can rest at the nurses office or in class
He can sit out gym
Take any needed bathroom breaks and use faculty ( private bathroom )
Keeps extra clothes at school just in case
Has snacks throughout the day as well

I think you need to get her psychologist opinion since she is more complicated on how hard to push when she is ill.

 

[Katrina9]

Thanks, that's helpful. My daughter also has a mental health issue - mood disorder (aka bipolar disorder) and so that makes this much more complicated.

She is scheduled to see a psychologist 2/1 at CHOP in the GI Dept.

As a mom, it's very difficult to know how and when to push. I have no problem doing so - and know what incentives/consequences to use; I just don't know if that's what I'm supposed to do if she is in a lot of pain and having loose stools, etc. It's really a "new normal" for all of us.

Her anxiety can be so intense it's hard to break through. She was hospitalized for a week in December - her choice - because she couldn't cope.

 

[my little penguin]

Once she gets on the right meds
She shouldn't be in pain or have loose stools
Asacol only takes a month to work so if symptoms are getting worse again please let her gi know

 

[Katrina9]

Thanks, yes. I called and reported symptoms yesterday and today and the nurse is talking to my daughter right now. They are great at CHOP. The Asacol started working after one week - after she had been sick for a month - and we were so relieved. This is all so new and it didn't occur to me that things could get worse again so quickly.

 

[Maya142]

I agree - it may be that the Asacol is not helping her anymore.

With my daughters, we said that they had to go to school unless they were in severe pain (could not walk, sobbing etc.) or had fevers or were vomiting a lot or had very bad diarrhea (could not leave the bathroom).

Thankfully, both girls loved school, so they hated missing even a day. So we rarely had to push them to go to school.

Does your daughter have a 504 plan so that she can go to the bathroom without asking? Keeping a change of clothes and wipes in her backpack also might help her feel better - that way, if something happens, at least she is prepared.

Heat also might help belly pain - she can use a heating pad at home. Thermacare wraps can be worn under clothes and are not very noticeable if worn under a sweater. Asking for a TENS unit also might help.

I will say that seeing a psychologist made a HUGE difference to my daughter - especially a psychologist that had experience with chronic illnesses. It did take time though, probably a month or 6 weeks before we saw a real improvement.

Good luck!

 

[Worried mama]

We go to chop too but haven't seen their psych there, but that seems like the perfect place to start. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, it's so difficult. What dr and what psych do you see at chop? I'm wondering if my son could benefit from it.

 

[Katrina9]

We see Dr Bales as the GI specialist - she is wonderful! We have an appt with the psychologist in the gi Dept, Dr Thompson. Dr Baber is the other psychologist in the GI Dept.