I wear continence pads and they really do make my life a lot easier. Just psychologically, wearing a pad allows me to stop worrying about accidents and it's so easy to just swap for a clean one - I never have to worry about dirty underwear.
It takes me hours (literally) to have a bowel movement because I have a lot of rectal problems, including prolapse and haemorrhoids. I'm actually going to have an ileostomy soon, partly because these problems keep recurring. It might be worth your getting a proper rectal examination (all my problems in this area are dealt with by a specialist colorectal surgeon) to see if you have any problems of this nature that can be treated. In many cases they can be corrected with minor surgeries. But it might be there are even more simple solutions - rectal catheters, suppositories and enemas are all things my surgeon tried me on to help with the problems of not being able to finish a bowel movement properly. They didn't really work for me, but I have a very severe case (hence the ileostomy) - it may be that you can fix this problem, or at least minimise it, through some of these methods.