Separate meals?

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This question is for all of those caregivers/spouses/partners/parents out there: What do you eat while "The Patient" is on a restricted diet? Do you do completely separate meals or do you try to eat a few items that are the same? I ask because my husband was just put on a Low Residue Diet which pretty much reads like the exact opposite of what a healthy adult should eat. I'd love to hear how you are managing in your homes. Thanks!
 
I'm the restricted patient, but I try to get my husband to eat regular separate meals from me.
 
my now ex and I have very different diet restrictions. but generally there would be one part of the meal that was the same, usually the protein. I was the one who did the cooking so it was pretty much a case of cooking one part of the meal and we'd each be responsible for the other half.

so there would be the chicken breast, and she'd fill her meal out with a salad, and I would eat rice. It was a lot easier than trying to sort out two completely different meals.
 
Me and my boyfriend tend to eat the same dinner, except sometimes the sides, he is supposed to get his healthy stuff at lunch time. But I am not doing 'full' low res now, I am gradually reintroducing foods.
 
We do separate meals a lot when I'm not feeling well. Or we do like vonfunk said and we'll cook the meat (chicken) and have it with whatever we like (mashed potatoes for me and corn for him)
 
My husband thinks the high protein, low fibre diet is great ;) , but I always make him and my son other healthier food
 
My boyfriend and I usually eat the same thing but when I'm a liquid diet or any sort of diet he makes his own food and eats whatever he wants and I don't care if it's in front of me either.
 
I am the one that is on a restricted diet but I do all the cooking. I just cook the protein and then my husband's veggies and a starch for me. I know it seems very overwhelming right now with all the changes, but you will get your routine back. Just keep the faith!

Michele
 
Since I am the one with Crohns and the one who cooks, I usually don't make things that I can not eat. So if I'm off of cheese, no enchiladas for my baby (we live in, and he is from New Mexico)!

However, if I am on a restricted diet, liquid or otherwise, we just eat separately. He couldn't handle it and I wouldn't want him to try!
 
Thanks for all the support and ideas. Right now he is on such a restricted diet (liquid/mush) that it's not even a question. I had a great rant earlier to my sister-in-law about how I got married so that I could stop cooking single-portion meals. I felt better after. :)
 
Hi Wife!

My husband is also the one with this disease and I battle the same battles as you do. I have been making separate meals for years, because even when his disease is under control he won't eat healthy things I make because they don't appeal to him. He is just so stubborn and won't eat the food that I KNOW can make a difference in controlling this gut bastard. Yes, I know it can't be cured but I am convinced you can do SO much with the right food, so you don't irritate your bowels. His doctor does not really put him on any special diets...the only time that happened was after the surgery and of course I didn't eat pudding and chicken broth soup for weeks..so separate meals again. It has been like this for so long I don't even know any other way..I don't even think about it.

Ugh this came out like a rant, but I guess I'm a little frustrated with him because he is not doing so hot and I am just mad at him for not doing everything he can.
 
Hana, no offence but you KNOW what foods will make him better? In that case you should have a medal and your own TV program! One of the most frustrating things with this disease is that so often the healthy stuff makes us feel ill, gives us bloat or gas. So don't lecture your husband or try to force him to eat healthy stuff. Make sure its available if/when he wants to try it but that's all.
 
Ugh this came out like a rant, but I guess I'm a little frustrated with him because he is not doing so hot and I am just mad at him for not doing everything he can.

Well you live with it for a while and see if you can do these magical things to make it better. Get back to me on that one.
 
None taken. I didn't expect my words to be interpreted that way, but I guess it's partially my fault for not elaborating on what I meant by "healthy". By healthy, I don't mean that in a traditional way, or what any other person that doesn't have problems with their GI tract do.....eat salads, steamed veggies, beans, fat free ranch dressing. I know those are really hard to digest, and they give me gas at times, let alone someone that has Crohn's. I have read many different articles, and books written by people that know what they're talking about...(including some Crohn's patients that have tried many different things and found some that worked for them)...and while some of it is contradicting (some of the SDC stuff doesn't make sense to me for example, because, like you said, they give you gas and bloating) you can still find a lot of information that makes sense, and is the same across multiple sources....common theme being eat rice, potatoes, fish, lean meats, eggs...etc.

Anyways, without going into more details I just want to say that I have a problem seeing him drink beer, eat deep fried boneless wings, cakes, cookies, chocolate, pumpkin seeds..all the things that I know are bad for anyone (not just someone that has sensitive stomach to say the least). I know (I guess I should not say I know..because I don't know from my own experience and I don't know if I can even imagine, but do I have to talk like I'm on trial here?) that it's difficult at times when you can't eat anything for weeks and even months, and I know that everyone should have a right to enjoy the simplest pleasures of life (food) and eat that damn burger if you please...I know..but I just don't want him to eat that shit ALL THE TIME. I guess what I was trying to say is I want him to extend the benefits of the surgery for as long as he can by doing things in addition to taking Remicade.

I just re-read my post and saw that I said I know it would help control this bastard...I don't..who can really know?....but I have to believe that this would be THE THING...just the dot that we need to put on this story, something that just might make the difference. If I don't have that hope what else do I have then?

There really is no reason to take that tone with me, because while I may not suffer from the symptoms myself, believe me I would give anything if I could figure out how to help each and every one of you. I don't know how my post came off to some of you, I guess you were annoyed (to say the least) but I really did not mean to hurt anyone's feelings in any way. I am just frustrated myself that this disease just does not flipping rest.EVER.

I don't know about you guys, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and don't pass judgement about someone's actions or character before I really know where they're coming from, and what they're trying to say.
 
Hey Hana,

I sometimes feel the same "frustration" you do, it is frustration borne out of fear and love for the person you care so deeply about with this disease. In my case it is my daughter and I know she could be making wiser decisions with her life but I have to step back in her case. I am lucky in that she appears to be making less of those risky decisions and heading down a path much more in tune with her body.

It is such a difficult thing to stand by and watch and feel so helpless and out of control but, when our loved one is an adult, all we can do is offer our support and advice and hope for the best in many ways and it's bloody hard.

:hang:

Dusty
 
Hana, I saw where you were coming from:)!! Believe me, it's hard to convince an 11 yr old boy that he'd probably feel better tomorrow if he'll eat baked chicken and white rice instead of pizza today!! I know I feel better when I eat chicken and rice instead of pizza. In my estimation, and it's only a guess, it is just anti-intellectual not to think of food first when the issue is the digestive system. I know it's not going to cure him, but I can't help but think that good diet decisions will increase the length of his remission. I may be dead wrong, but I'm not going to stop trying!! Good luck!!
 
Same battle here- son's favorite food is pepperoni rolls. He's in remission and I cringe everytime I hear he bought a pepperoni roll at school.

Anyhow, I eat the same food. We all eat the same food. Husband and youngest son- get treats at lunch and when oldest son is not around. We sneak food. Food is such an unhealthy obsession in our house.
 
I am the patient, and my boyfriend of 3 yrs is stuck with me. :)

We've learned a few things over the past years that have helped us. When I'm really not doing good, he knows not to eat things around me that I might really want to eat. However, if I'm doing so so or in remission, he eats whatever he wants in front of me. If I'm doing so so, I can protest him not to make a pizza if I think it's going to smell good to me. Then he won't make it. Besides that, it's my disease. It hinders his life enough. I don't want him not to eat what he wants. I try to take a deep breath and remember why I'm not eating that mac and cheese tonight. Then, smile when he's done.

I hope that this isn't taken the wrong way. If I'm not feeling well, he won't eat around me or will change his eating habbits. But I don't want him to do it all the time.

Hope that helps. <3
 

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