Sex drive

[legacywwe]

sex drive

hi everyone, i don't have crohns but my partner does. she is 22 and got crohns diagnosed when she was 19. she has been through it all and I guess the 1 good thing is that her dad has helped out a bit as he also has it. i have a question which I find it difficult to chat to her about. we always get into an argument. we haven't had sex or being intimate in reality since early 2009. that is nearly 2 years ago and i am very worried. she says that she is always tired which I can clearly see. she has been on steroids and is currently on the 6mp medication so I am guessing this knocked her around a bit. she also, without my knowledge until she finally told me, wasn't taking her medication for the majority of 2009 as she was struggling to come to terms with her disease. she didnt take it for a good 6 - 7 months. she weighed about 43 kg, and i was very very worried. i am a supporting partner but just want to know whether her drive will increase. she has put her weight back on and is working full time again which is great. I am just worried we will never do it again as it's almost half our relationship without sex, got together in early 2007.

I have read and understand that people with crohns dont have the energy or anything but I would have thought just once in 2 years she might have.

 

[winemaker]

Have a wank mate, she'll let you know when or if she wants to... We can't tell you if she will regain her sex drive.

 

[legacywwe]

LOL thanks buddy. What I mean is whether people have gone through this before and it improved.

 

[DustyKat]

Here is a thread you may be interested in, it deals with many of the issues it sounds like may be dealing with.......

http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?t=12188

Dusty.

 

[Rebecca85]

I would suggest that she gets her blood checked for anything other than the Crohn's that might be causing her to feel so tired, specifically anaemia, iron, folate and b12 stores. Your girlfriend may also be suffering a bit of depression, that certainly isn't going to help matters.

When you say you try to chat to her but it turns into an argument, what sort of things do you say? Try starting each sentence with 'I' rather than 'you' e.g. 'I really miss the physical side of our relationship' instead of 'you never want to have sex'. The second one just sounds like you are being accusing, even though that's not what you mean.

Try doing things for your girlfriend like run her a bath if she's had a hard day at work. Sometimes I think the most romantic thing my boyfriend could do for me is hoover the floor!

Hopefully she will regain her drive soon!

 

[legacywwe]

I would suggest that she gets her blood checked for anything other than the Crohn's that might be causing her to feel so tired, specifically anaemia, iron, folate and b12 stores. Your girlfriend may also be suffering a bit of depression, that certainly isn't going to help matters.

When you say you try to chat to her but it turns into an argument, what sort of things do you say? Try starting each sentence with 'I' rather than 'you' e.g. 'I really miss the physical side of our relationship' instead of 'you never want to have sex'. The second one just sounds like you are being accusing, even though that's not what you mean.

Try doing things for your girlfriend like run her a bath if she's had a hard day at work. Sometimes I think the most romantic thing my boyfriend could do for me is hoover the floor!

Hopefully she will regain her drive soon!

Thanks for your reply. Most of time I will ask "do you feel like you are getting any better" and from there she normally says 'I know where are you going with this." She says that same stuff, eg I am getting better, I will tell you when I am ready, talking about it stresses me out. She went talk to her docotr about it and doesn't even feel comfortable talking about it to me or her best friend.

Her employment is standing up all day in retail so when she gets home she is normally very tired and just wants to rest, which is fine with me.
I just say to her that she has seemed "better" for nearly 5 months now and we still haven't had sex. Before she had crohns we were always doing it, but as soon as she got hameoids (shocking spelling I know) it dried up straight away, which sucked cause we just moved in.

I am sure that she will re-gain it but it's just hard for both of us, and she knows it.

 

[Manzyb]

Hey there! I think many of us with Crohn's have gone through a spell like this. It is so hard to get into the mood when you're stomach always hurts, or your tired, or you're nauseous and so on. I hope it will get better for you guys! I know that my husband and I go through spurts like this. When I am feeling good, the sex drive goes up a lot, not always back to the way it use to be, but it does get better for me at times.

I really hope things get better for you guys soon, I know it can be very frustrating. Just remember, dealing with this disease, the most important thing is to have a good support system. You sound like you are doing pretty good with it, but just make sure she knows he can always talk to you about things without fear of judgment.

 

[Brindle]

Hey there,

Total catch 22 on this subject. Without prying to much. Does she show interest any physical attention??? I understand no intercourse but there are many other ways to pleasure your mate.

Does she take anything for depression or talk with a therapist ect??? I understand all about being sick and tired of being sick and tired, but if she can not or will not communicate with anyone at all about whats going on, then it will really be hard to find an answer that fits.

Maybe you should try reverting back to a time when you two were dating, plan a date.
Go out for a nice evening, walk in the moonlight, share that special kiss. Don't think of it going much beyond that, but maybe it will!?!? get you guys out of a rut.

 

[archie]

I agree with brindle, sounds like you guys are in a bit of a rut which might be difficult to get out of. Everyones affected differently so hard to comment on this one, as far as I know it's not connected directly to crohn's but maybe due to the fatigue which is a big part of it. There maybe a bit of depression underlying which is the main problem. Hope you get sorted soon as you sound like a nice guy trying to do the decent thing.

 

[Crohnsie]

I don't mean to sound like a dick but posting this on here about her is a little insensitive, I'm a guy with crohns and at times it's embarrassing enough having this illness, i can't even imagine how bad it is for women, I have body issues with this illness, think how hard it must be for a female with all the social body issues they must have already, I find it's a bit easier for guys since we can fart round our friends and it's perfectly acceptable so guys find it easier having crohns, I wouldn't put pressure on her, that's the last thing she needs, also when it does happen you better be on your game

 

[ACNewt]

Let me just say, as a woman, I don't think you posting on here about this is insensitive at all. It actually shows you are reaching out to people with her same troubles. Obviously if he really wanted to be an ass he would just leave her or cheat on her or pressure her into doing something she is not comfortable with. He's not doing that. So lets be easy on him, just my opinion.

Unfortunately there isn't much you can do to get her to be comfortable if she's not. Just be there for her and let her know how much you are still attracted to her, love her. Be sure to do the little things, like someone mentioned running her a bath after a long day.

Lets be real, sex is a HUGE part of a relationship, its not everything but its a big part. Its important.

 

[legacywwe]

Thanks for all your replies everyone. Yes, we still do the couple things eg, watch a movie together, go to movies together, go for drives, go on holidays. We recently started playing mixed netball but she has had ongoing issues with her knees and ankles and isn't playing tomorrow night. This was before being diagnosed.

She does still show affection, we still kiss and say I love you and we both really mean it. It was only since being diagnosed and related effects from either the medication, predinosone (not sure on spelling). At one stage she lost half her weight but she has put all that back on now which is good.

I brought up the sex issue again yesterday and once again she started to cry and said "Im sorry, it's all my fault" I said "it's not your fault but is there anything that we can do to get you better." Half her problem is that she doesn't eat right at all. She has KFC a lot and Maccas a lot. She doesn't eat fruit and she only eats vegetables when we have them with tea, eg carrots, beans potatoes. If we talk about her diet she gets stroppy and says I can eat what I want.

She is very opinionated but I really do love her and it's the only thing that isn't right for us. I am confident it will get better and am sure it will be at some stage. It is very hard to deal with at times, I try to put it out of my head by doing other things such as the mixed netball, walks, video games with her and that does help me.

 

[Dras]

I second ACNewt!!

 

[Crohnsie]

Thanks for all your replies everyone. Yes, we still do the couple things eg, watch a movie together, go to movies together, go for drives, go on holidays. We recently started playing mixed netball but she has had ongoing issues with her knees and ankles and isn't playing tomorrow night. This was before being diagnosed.

She does still show affection, we still kiss and say I love you and we both really mean it. It was only since being diagnosed and related effects from either the medication, predinosone (not sure on spelling). At one stage she lost half her weight but she has put all that back on now which is good.

I brought up the sex issue again yesterday and once again she started to cry and said "Im sorry, it's all my fault" I said "it's not your fault but is there anything that we can do to get you better." Half her problem is that she doesn't eat right at all. She has KFC a lot and Maccas a lot. She doesn't eat fruit and she only eats vegetables when we have them with tea, eg carrots, beans potatoes. If we talk about her diet she gets stroppy and says I can eat what I want.

She is very opinionated but I really do love her and it's the only thing that isn't right for us. I am confident it will get better and am sure it will be at some stage. It is very hard to deal with at times, I try to put it out of my head by doing other things such as the mixed netball, walks, video games with her and that does help me.

You know what, when I was first diagnosed I didn't listen to anyone telling me what I should eat, I think I was in denial that I had a disease and why shoul I have to change, but you learn these things as you go, hopefully she will too

 

[Rebecca85]

Legacy, often us Crohnies find it hard to digest fruit and vegetables and they give us pain or other symptoms. Processed food like maccys is often easier on our tummies (though obviously not good in other ways).

 

[CyCrohn'sGuy]

My partner left me for the very same reason just before I had surgery. Apparantly, it turned out, my performance, energy levels and appetite were not up to scratch but unfortunately it wasn't something we could discuss openly and honestly.

I think Legacywwe is doing the right thing by coming here and asking questions as clearly he wants to salvage his relationship. Good for him !!!

Costas

 

[Jer's Girl]

My heart goes out to you. That is a very long time to go without sex and I don't think that you are being a jerk at all to bring it up. I had some harsh words for the other guy who posted a while back, and that is because he seemed to put the sex issue before his girlfriends feelings. I don't think he really loved her. It obviously sounds like you love your girlfriend no matter what, but would just like to have this important part of your relationship back to some degree.

My guess is that your girlfriend is embarrassed of all of her physical problems, including the hemorrhoids. Thinking of any one seeing me naked, especially when I was on pred and had the moon face going on, used to terrify me. As a woman, you want to be beautiful and sexy for the person you love. You expect that men want some perfect package that you can not live up to.

Are you two young? That could have a lot to do with how she is able, or not so able, to deal with her feelings on this subject right now, and so she doesn't deal with it at all.

I am now married and enjoy a great sex life. I even had a great sex life when I had an ostomy! Becoming comfortable with my body is something that came with age. It also helps that i have the most loving, understanding husband on the planet. He thinks I'm beautiful and sexy no matter what, which helps me to believe it too.

However, I know how it feels to go through some long dry patches because of the Crohn's. I know how guilty that can make you feel, to be the one who is keeping the one you love from having that closeness with you. It doesn't sound like you are pressuring her or being unkind to her. Just be careful not to make her feel like she is doing something wrong. She probably wants to be with you as much as you want to be with her, she is just to sick right now, or possibly too afraid.

I don't think that the two of you are going to be able to get past this on your own because so much time has passed. Would you consider counselling? Talking to someone about this issue might help both of you to realize that nether one of you is to blame in this situation, and that there may be a way past it.

Until then, try to be physical as much as possible in other ways. Kissing, cuddling, holding hands, it is all part of love making.

Good luck to you. I hope that you two can get passed this soon.

 

[archie]

I agree with jer's girl, I think counselling would be helpful esp for your partner as she may have other unresolved issues going on, maybe even some other health issues other than the crohn's (physical or psychological).

 

[TMos]

Dude, you're ok in my book. 2 years and you seem to be dealing with it like a man. I don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes.

Do the best you can, that's all anyone can do.

 

[tiloah]

I'm with those suggesting counseling. Specifically couples counseling. Communication is so so so important in a relationship, and if you can't have a conversation about what's going on without her becoming defensive, that's a huge problem. Being open and honest and communicative is imperative in working through problems, whether it's sex related or Crohn's related or something else entirely. You can't work together on a solution if you can't even talk about it. With a neutral party you would be able to make sure the discussion stays constructive and on track.

 

[ACNewt]

Counseling? I'd think you need a counselor that doesn't exist. What would you expect for their qualifications? That would be real hard to find.

Um there are plenty of counselors that deal with couples and relationships. The problem they are having is not that unusual, the only possibly unusual part is that Crohn's is involved. But there are many couples out there who deal with intimacy issues, especially pertaining to sex.

Sexual urge is natural and is a huge reason why people are drawn to monogamous relationships. To say that he is wrong to have the urge to have sex with his girlfriend is really strange to me. Maybe I am not understanding where you're coming from.

 

[auntee_steph]

I agree that we need to give this guy a break. He seems like he is trying to help his relationship & is trying to talk to people in her situation to better understand what is going on. I know, as a woman who has had crohn's more than half her life, that there are definitely times where you are feeling totally unattractive & undesirable....no matter what your partner may tell you. Sometimes you may want to, but are in pain, too tired, have gas, etc. There are many times I have wanted my husband, but was just too wiped out. I also agree with the others on a "date night". Just relax....have dinner at home, run a warm bath, maybe a massage, always be sure to let her know that you love her & are attracted to her......who knows where it may lead. Remember, having loved ones support you means everything. Hope all goes well.

 

[Jer's Girl]

Ahumado, I think you need to try to be a bit more understanding. It's not like this guy is angry that his girlfriend wont put out every night, or even every few months. I would be hurt too if my husband din't want to even talk about sex for that long, even if he was the sick one. Maybe her issues don't even have anything to do with pain any more. maybe now it has become something deeper. Maybe she wants to find a way to be together again too, but they both need some help figuring out how to get there.

He isn't saying he is going to leave her if this doesn't get fixed soon. He is simply looking for some answers from people who might have an insight into how the person he loves might be feeling.

I know what it feels like to not be able to be intimate because of this disease. My husband has had to wait months at a time for me until I am ready, and he is okay with that. BUT I have had this disease long enough to know how to talk to him about what I am going through so that he knows that it isn't about him and that I still love him as much as ever.

Sometimes for me if we haven't been together in a while, it is easier for me to just go on that way but I know that at some point I just have to try it again even if I am scared. I know that he is going to be gentle with me and that my problems are no longer about pain, but about fear and I need to get passed that in order for us both to be happy. That is the kind of thing a third party could help this couple learn together.

Here is an example from my life Legacywwe. After I had my ileostomy, my husband was ready to go right away. I was in a lot of pain so we waited. little did he know I was also afraid to be together because i was so embarrassed about my new body. I contemplated waiting until I had my reversal because i was so nervous about him seeing me naked or having something go wrong with the ostomy, but since I didn't know how long I would have it (turned out to be six months), and I wasn't sure if it was going to be permanent or not, I decided that i was going to have to trust my partner and give it a try for both of our sakes. Guess what? We had some of the best sex of our lives while i had my stoma. My husband didn't feel any differently about me at all and it really helped my confidence in all aspects of my life to know that although my body had changed, nothing had changed between us.

My husband and I both understand that this disease can make sex impossible from time to time, but we also really need that closeness whenever we can get it. Part of being in love is being able to be together in that way. It is not the most important thing, but it is an important thing.

Even though I came to this conclusion on my own, that doesn't mean that your girl will be able to. Please don't be too hard on her since you don't really know what is going on with her right now, but suggesting counseling might just show her how committed you are to her and the relationship.

I think it is really great that you have joined this forum to support her. I hope that you both find what you need soon.

 

[Jer's Girl]

On another note, re-reading your posts, you both need to get educated on what a person with Crohn's can and cannot eat. What is typically healthy for a person without Crohn's like vegetables and fruit can cause a lot of pain for someone with Crohn's. On the other hand, fried food like KFC is not good either. It is hard to figure out what is going to work from person to person with this disease, but there are some basic guidelines, especially when she is going through a flair. I suggest you look at the food and diet threads for some advice.

 

[rottengut91]

I saw one post here in this thread that started with "Let me just say, as a woman"
That's fine. Let me say as a guy...I know what guys want and what ends they will go to to get what they want. Not all, but enough.

As for being understanding. I think I understand better than I am getting credit for. I see that this thread is over for me

Well Ahumado, I sure hope you're not married. It would be a terrible for your wife, if she god forbid, she become incapacitated somehow. You know, if you commit to someone, it should be in sickness and in health, whether you're married or not. Sex, while an important part of a relationship, is not the end all. If my husband every became paralyzed, I would not dream of stepping out on him because we could no longer engage in sexual intercourse. It is very common for couples to become distant as far as sex and intimacy are concerned. I feel if legacy and his wife would start slow and simply enjoy simple activities together without the possibility to it leading to sex, it would help get them connected again and take the pressure off his wife. There are many forms of intimacy. Walking while holding hands. Dinners shared while focusing on each other. Back to the basics sort of. Remembering what attracts you to the other in the first place. Even simple back rubs that don't end up with sex involved. Writing a nice love note, or sending flowers out of the blue to let her know he's thinking of her. Hide little notes throughout the house, like in the cupboard, so she finds it maybe while pulling a cup out for coffee or tea. You remember those silly little jesters we did for each other when we first met. Things like that to get the juices flowing again. It can be difficult to pull out from a rut like this. She needs to know that no matter what, he still loves her, like I said to someone else, stinky poo and all.

 

[TMos]

Um, sex is right up there with breathing and eating for guys. We've actually evolved into two different beings inhabiting the same body. We go to craft fairs, Linen N Things, hold hands, go to romantic movies, hug, massage, raise kids, support our wive's. That's our domestic, or what I'll call Husband side.

The other side is the primal side, and I don't want to post anything about that side on an open forum. But Ahumado is trying to put it out there pretty strongly, which the Husband side would NEVER do. Because Husband side thinks before he types. : )

 

[rottengut91]

I totally understand primal...we all desire sex, but there also comes a point in a relationship that our partners feelings and needs trump our own, no matter how primal the urge.

 

[TMos]

Would suggesting getting her drunk be inapproriate?

 

[Sophia]

Dear legacywwe,

Just wanted to give you credit for being so patient and you sound like a very understanding partner who only wants the best for his girl.

I have never had a problem with sex drive due to my Crohn's, so I cannot even begin to imagine how troublesome this must be for the both of you. And such a sensitive subject too...

Someone suggested you start slowly, and perhaps just do "other stuff" to begin with (i.e. not intercourse). I don't know how your relationship is, but I suppose you share a bed? So maybe you could start by just stroking her back or playing with her hair after you've gone to bed? And if she gets sad/turned off because she thinks you only want sex you could try just caressing her while you are reading a book or something. Just show you care and want to touch her, but pretend you are busy with the book so she understands you are not after anything more that night.

Hmm... Reading what I just wrote now it seems a bit strange, but I think it could work... I guess the key is to start slowly, and build up her self-confidence again. Make her feel special and beautiful! (But maybe you are already doing this, you seem like you are doing a good job as a boyfriend! )

A rule of thumb is to give her sincere compliments throughout the day. Tell her she looks beautiful. Buy her flowers. Surprise her with a gift or a dinner. This is very basic, and you probably know this already, but all of this is just as important as a good foreplay. Hehe...

Wish you the best of luck!

 

[legacywwe]

Hey. Thanks all for your responses. We aren't married and I'm 25 and she's 22. She says to me that she misses it but stress from work and crohns is the problem. We dont fight about it often but it does come up. Often she falls asleep at 9pm so it's linked to energy levels. She has said she is getting better and likely to do it this year. I'm not confident it will happen but look forward to it. Also I worked out it's 2 years in Jan not now. Most of last year she was very sick and there was no chance but since April she has put weight back on. Nearly doubled her 43 kg hehe. We will get there.

 

[katiesue1506]

I was always very tired too, I found it refreshing when my husband would try during the day instead of at night, that way I was more up for it.

 

[legacywwe]

Oops spelling mistake. Dam predictive text

 

[TMos]

I think you guys have more issues than just sex if she's "faking" skipping meds.

 

[rottengut91]

Oops spelling mistake. Dam predictive text

I hate it too, I'll send a text before looking it over, when I look at it, I notice some of the words aren't what I meant them to be. Sometimes the text makes absolutely no sense. Makes you look like a dumba**!

 

[legacywwe]

Well anyway everyone, we had a big chat tonight and shes going to see her doctor tomorrow to talk about it. Thanks everyone.

 

[TMos]

Good luck to you two. Hopefully she just needs some B12 injections and you'll have a freak on your hands again!

 

[Jer's Girl]

I though what you said was beautiful and just right Sophia. Katiesue, great idea about during the day. That works for me sometimes too when i know i will be too tired at night.

Good luck Legacywwe! Thanks for writing in.

 

[Sarac8275]

Hey there! I think many of us with Crohn's have gone through a spell like this. It is so hard to get into the mood when you're stomach always hurts, or your tired, or you're nauseous and so on..

I think you said it perfectly right there. I think my boyfriend is having trouble coming to terms with me not often feeling well enough... And it's tough, it really is. While I'd really like to, it really is hard to 'get in the mood'... and it really brings me down and will occasionally put me in a bad position as well - my mood goes down in a general sense, and I begin to get depressed on occasion-- well, more so than I'd like to.

 

[Boltmannz]

Hi buddy people don't realise how tired you get with crohn's. with her low body weight I believe she needs more medical help.

 

[Katiepede]

I know that this may be a completely unfeasible suggestion, as I know there aren't that many jobs out there, and she may love her job, so I am sorry if this is a terrible suggestion. However, if she is so tired in her retail job standing up all day, has she thought about trying something else where she can sit down more? I worked in Department store, a few years ago as a Christmas temp, and I was incredibly tired just having to stand up all day.
x

 

[Rebecca85]

Or could they make accomodations at her job, e.g. If she's working at a till for some of the time could they make sure she has a chair so she can sit down. Or extra breaks. You said she is stressed from her job- is it something in particular that her bosses can help with?

 

[Katiepede]

Even better suggestion Rebecca

 

[schnicken]

Communication is extremely important in all areas of a relationship - including your sex life. Personally, when I wasn't climaxing when I had sex, I had no interest in it at all (and this was whether or not I was tired, crampy etc). Looking at your ages, this could be a strong posibility. I'm not trying to insult you, but I've been in her situation.

What you need to do is have a quiet conversation with her and ask HER what YOU can do for her sexually. You need to ensure that she understands that you find sex an important part of the relationship and you want to ensure that she enjoys herself as well. If she isn't having orgasms, she is not going to place sex near the top of her list.

Also, one poster mentionned being intimate without actually having intercourse. Did you take turns pleasing each other now and then before the sex stopped? Sex doesn't always have to end with intercourse or with both partners climaxing. There are so many layers to intimacy.

Another option is to set aside a Saturday - treat her to a nice bath, massage etc. Set the mood all day sexually; get her mind excited about it. AND very important, if it turns out that she is not feeling well that day, you will need to understand. However, ensure that you book your "date" for another time.

Some folks think that sex shouldn't be planned. I am a fan of doing it both spontaneously and planning special times. People should do what works for them.

All that said, I certainly hope she is feeling better - sex or not as that is very important, and one can certainly understand why she isn't feeling up to it.

 

[Mountaingem]

It doesn't make a guy a pig because he wants to have a sex life with his mate. I think what the guys are trying to say is that sex is a way obviously to satisfy themselves, but also to feel close to their partner, to have intimacy physically but also on a deeper level, too. If you're sex life was mostly just for fun, she may have realized along the way that the changes Crohn's has made in her life scares her; it makes it hard to be the way she was before Crohn's.

Let's be real, sex doesn't necessarily equal intimacy. Us girls need talking, and romance, and acceptance-the whole package to get there. I've been married for 16 years, and I imagine for those who aren't married, or in a committed relationship, it takes even more effort on the part of the partner w/o Crohn's.

As Julie basically said, little thoughtful things add up to sex. It makes us feel safe to let down our guard and take the risk of being vulnerable, esp. with what this disease does to the body and soul.

 

[Sarac8275]

Beautifully put, Mountaingem.

 

[Vivvian's Mommy]

I was engaged once before my husband.I have had Crohn's since I was 12.I never intimate with him tell I was 20.Then in 2004 I ended up with an ileostomy again for the
3rd time.Things went verydownhill and lets just say it didn't work.I then meet my husband in 2007 right before he deployed.He would send me poems and love letters from Iraq.He continuly wrote me and said all kinds of wonderful things.When came home on his R&R in 2008 we were married.Been married for 2 1/2years with a beautiful baby girl we adopted.But as far as our sex relationship really never had one.But its not because of my ostomy for his part.Its just that I started suffering from depression after my ex and I were through.I was degraded a lot by him which in turn brought my self esteem down alot too.But my hubby and I do go out on dates still with dinner and a movie or just to the mall to spoil our daughter.He still writes me little love letters and those occasions we do things.In a way just boost her confidence and tell her she is still as beautiful as ever and that your there for her.Write notes and slip them in her purse before work or somewhere she'll find them.Maybe one night do a romantic dinner or take her out.Snuggle with her and just a movie at home or play a game.My husband and I play video games together or even cards and board games.

 

[xoxava]

I can relate to your partner as I was diagnosed at the age of 19 as well. My boyfriend and I have gotten into some arguments over sex before but nothing major. I am tired most the time and not interested mainly because of the pain being so intense. I say just give her time and take it step by step. When I began to feel more comfortable is when we had sex again and now its only when my stomach hurts when I'm not interested. Hope things look up for the both of you!

 

[legacywwe]

Hey everyone. Thanks for all your help with my question. We still haven't done it but she has begun taking her iron tablets again which is a good sign and she did speak to her doctor about it. The doctor didn't help directly, just said to take iron tablets and that is the reason you are tired. She had a blood test and yeah, just needs more iron.

She maintains saying yes we will do it this year but I'm not sure and when I say that she said we need to be optmistic. This year is close to running out, it doesn't bother me if it aint this year, early next year would be good. I am very pesamistic person whereas she is optimistic which is good.

How long do iron tablets take to work. She is still exhausted after work. I have noticed she hasn't been falling asleep as early which is good.

I was very proud that she went back on them, she feels so bad that we can't do it. I hate you Crohns!!! On another note, her dad has crohns and has been off meds for 7 years now!!

 

[legacywwe]

Hey guys, it's me again. Since I last posted not much has changed, we still get into arguments about it but now we are concentrating on what we can do to see if we can increase it through better diet (her diet is shocking), exercise. Although I am not sure if this will change anything at least we can say we tried. Her weight is double what it was this time last year. Has anyone had troubles with 6mp? she is also anemic and on iron tablets for these.

In regards to her job I think she would look at admin at some stage but not too sure at the moment, small town here and not much opportunity. The main support I need is to know whether other people have been in this boat. Its nearly 2 years without sex. I have tried to ask her when her drive went but she cant remember, However, I think it was when she was diagnosed. We still cuddle, hug and little kisses which is great. We do all the other fun things like go to concerts, movies, pub. I am concerned that her drive will never come back but at least we can try the diet and exercise thing. She eats a lot of KFC, Macca's and crap like that. I have done some research and noted that diet and exercise are crucial to your drive so I guess we just have to wait and see.

Although I am well, she isn't interested in pleasuring me in anyway, which is unfortunate but I guess if she was in the mood we would have sex anyway.... 2 years is a long time. Has anyone else gone longer than this? I love her and am here for her. I am also wondering whether a smaller dosage of 6mp would do anything. She doesn't have cramps anymore and the amount of times she goes to the toilet has decreased dramatically. She was on steroids for a while too but no longer on them.

 

[Laura_123]

although i havent been officially diagnosed with crohns as of yet..i do have alot of problems with my stomache and bowels and ulcers...my stomach gets sore to the point that if i touch it slightly it hurts. not to mention the gas and embaressment of farting infront of people! and the feeling sick!

im lucky that my boyfriend doesnt mind if i accidently fart infront of him or suddenly run to the toilet to throw up. i feel totally confortable with him that i can tell him how i feel...having said that...he was with me through hospital and when i first became ill..and he turned into a complete jackass wanting sex even when i was in hospital ! it took a while for him to realise how horrible this is.

i think its so nice that you are so understanding and wanting to help your gf and not jsut leave because it would be easier for some people.

i get very tired and rarely want sex i only really do it because of my boyfriend and it will shut him up for abit..although i do enjoy it when i get into it.

as other people have said have dates again make her feel totally relaxed and at ease x

 

[legacywwe]

Hey everyone, its me again. Things haven't changed and it's starting to stress me out. I felt that I was best at ease when I was on this site so here am I.

I don't want this to turn into a relationship counselling thread so I will try my best to word this right. Basically, we haven't been intimate since Jan 2009. This was when she stopped taking her meds and lost half her weight and it was a terrible year and she even ended up in hospital at xmas. Once she had her transfusion she looked like her normal skin colour and began eating again. From what I understand her motabolism was all over the place and she over ate. By memory she would have put on 60 kg on in a few months. Although I saw her eating I didn't notice the weight come on so quickly. at one stage she was 40kg and now she is 100kg, or there abouts.

As it has been such a long time since we were intimate I worry that it will never come back. 2 and a half years is a long time. She had her iron levels checked and they are fine so now she is concentrating on diet and exercise. She says the reason we dont do it is because shes tired all the time. She always stresses this. I can remember before she was diagnosed she would finish work late (1am) and she would still have some energy.

I just find it difficult to comprehend that she she doesn't have cramps anymore and I am guessing she is in remission, she works full time, but doesnt have the energy for sexy time. Does the weight coming on quickly do this to you?

 

[Gems867]

I am very impressed that you have stuck by her side this long. Says alot about the type of person you are. You must really love her. I obviously can't speak for her but in my own experience when you spend so much of your time in the bathroom, in pain and tired you start loosing interest in sex and don't feel sexy. Also I have found that many meds have affected my sex drive. Also sex can be painful when in a flare up. I think it would probably be a good idea to talk to her about all of this. Also another idea.. have you considered approaching her in the morning when she has had a good night sleep and making it all about her and maybe that would get her in the mood...
I dunno I am prolly not the best person to give advise on this subject cause its been a while kinda hard to meet a guy when you spend half your life in a bathroom LOL

 

[GutlessWonder86]

have you tried attending a local Crohn's and Colitis support group meeting together? You will be able to meet many folks in the exact same situation you are going through and can swap war stories. Also, topics are discussed such as diet, treatment, surgery, there are even educational meetings with speakers such as dieticians, surgeons, drug reps, Q&A sessions, even sex therapists. We had a sex therapist at one CCFA meeting and drew in over 200 people attending the educational meeting.

go to CCFA.org and then click on the state you live in. Knowledge is power. My husband attended the CCFA and ostomy support group meetings when we were dating to educate himself before we were engaged to educate himself and it came in handy several months later. I had a full blown obstruction and he rushed me to the ER. My GI said he saved my life by getting me there in time. Definitely look into it. It's free to attend.

 

[archie]

I think her issues maybe deeper than just tiredness so she and you will have to address these. 2 1/2 years is a long time and if your waiting for her to wake up one day and say oh i'm not tired lets get intimate I doubt it's going to happen. You sound like one very patient sweet guy who is understanding but as time goes on it's effecting the quality of your relationship as you've already mentioned how it's stressing you out. You need to address these issues and don't brush them to one side it's not fair on either of you.

 

[LOSTnut]

I just now read over this thread and I agree with Archie -- you need to dig a little deeper. 2 1/2 years is an awful long time and I admire you for your patience.

I apologize if I am getting too personal and I don't really expect answers but how was your sex life before she got sick and diagnosed? Did she enjoy it, even made the first moves, was it regular or has it always been something that she didn't give up easily? Was she hurt during sex? I remember my ex being rather well endowed and he (unintentionally) hurt me which took a lot away from me.

Of course, there are always body issues and jumping from 40 kg to 100 kg, which is approximately 200 lbs is quite a bit of weight gain. So her current "tiredness" might not necessarily be the real reason.

And, I dunno, but the other day my boyfriend told me that his coworkers think I am hot and that he is one hell of a lucky guy .... I felt really, really good when he told me that. Instant sexy feeling on my part :wink:

And, another thought -- does she love you as much as you love her? You mentioned that she is not even interested in pleasuring you. I mean, I remember feeling really bad and not even remotely being interested in having sex but still giving some thought at how he feels and while I pretty much forced myself the first time after my surgery and being more concerned about my bag exploding in the middle of it, the second time around was as good as ever.

I really don't want to sound insensitive here but probably the time has come to finally talk about YOUR feelings and that room mate status isn't what you are looking for, especially if you tried everything else that was suggested on here. Sometimes even us women are locked up in ourselves and happy enough to enjoy the Status Quo. I sure did, although I was often wondering how long my boyfriend would accept it before looking somewhere else.

Well, anyhow ... my 2 cents.

 

[Brindle]

Archie/LOSTnut, Very well put... I have tried to find the right words to convey this message. I have had CD for 15 years. I was diagnosed weeks before my wedding day, never to be in actual remission until my permanent Ileostomy in 2009, when then I developed Lupus 2 months post surgery. I know all about fatigue and pain.. But I also know how important my husband is to me.. He has never pressured me and has always been very supportive and understanding.. BUT I am sorry, in 2 1/2 years there has had to be a time or two when she was able to show her gratefulness/love to such a patient partner. I do understand first hand that that sex should not the most important part of any relationship, but that is what a real relationship is. meeting in the middle to assure that both parties are understood, honest and open..

Do you go to any of her Drs appointments with her?? Maybe this would be a wise idea. My Drs would/have addressed my feelings regarding inadequacy as a women/wife. Or maybe you two as a couple go see a counselor who deals with chronic illnesses. Don't get me wrong, there will be dry spells where making love is simply out of the questions, but 2 1/2 years is excessive, seeing as it reads that her disease has improved. best of luck, and I do hope that things work out for the two of you. But do keep in mind, it take two to make a relationship work.

 

[Jennifer]

Could be depression or feeling that she isn't attractive (even though you express your thoughts sadly those aren't her thoughts). I have similar issues of my own but if I went for even 6 months without any intimacy then I would seek medical and psychological help because there's obviously something going on. Being tired isn't a proper excuse unless you're bedridden and it doesn't sound like she is. I'm very open with my fiance about why I'm not interested so he fully understands rather than constantly wondering (even if it makes him feel bad, he should know so he can work on the issue too if he can). If its true that she really is too tired all of the time then she should head back to the doctor and you should go with her. Having that long of a dry spell without trying to fix it, well, there's something wrong there. I hope you guys get it sorted out soon. Suggest going to the doctor to her and or couples counseling as well because it is affecting the relationship otherwise you wouldn't have even brought it up here.

 

[legacywwe]

Hey. Yes I go to all her specialist appointments. She was having them once per month until she got kinda better. The sex was never an issue until she was diagnosed with Crohns. It was frequent and there were no issues. Since having Crohns, which was only a few months into our relationship, it died down a bit but once she didn't take her meds and then put on weight it has gone.

I ask whether there are any other issues like did it hurt last time. Are you unhappy with your body? She says it's nothing to do with me. It's all about her lack of energy. At one point she couldn't walk 10 meters, shower, or do anything at all. Now that she seems better I thought it may have returned.

She genuinely wants to fix it and believes the loss of weight will help so she's got a bike and is riding to and from work. She says she know this sucks but is genuinely grateful for my patience. My main problem is that it has been so long now. I know we won't go forever without doing it but at times it feels like it, that's just me though. 2010 was the year she started to get better but was way underweight and now she's overweight. Just can't win. She doesn't get cramps anymore though so I'm not sure how active her Crohns is .

 

[LOSTnut]

I know this is a serious problem but one solution could be to take her to the GYN and have them administer a testosterone shot.

You will never know what hit you!

 

[Lisa]

I was going to suggest her having hormone levels checked - they may be out of whack with the weight loss, meds, then the weight gain.....like LOSTnut said - one shot may be all it takes!

 

[legacywwe]

I've mentioned that to her, like most Crohnies she's so dam stubborn but if this doesn't work then she would try that. When she lost the weight I think she went 9 months without her period.

 

[aarond]

My partner left me for the very same reason just before I had surgery. Apparantly, it turned out, my performance, energy levels and appetite were not up to scratch but unfortunately it wasn't something we could discuss openly and honestly.

I think Legacywwe is doing the right thing by coming here and asking questions as clearly he wants to salvage his relationship. Good for him !!!

Costas

Wow sounds like a mirror of my life, sometimes talking is so much more simpler and I cant understand why people shy away from honesty!

 

[legacywwe]

She does talk about it to me but hates talking about it. I think cause I ask the same questions. Unfortunately I feel it's always going to be an issue. As soon as she was diagnosed and got sick and then put on weight, it just stuffed it up. She walks a fair distance to work now. I'm sure one day we will have sex again, it's just the waiting that sucks.

 

[Boltmannz]

dawn breaker

She does talk about it to me but hates talking about it. I think cause I ask the same questions. Unfortunately I feel it's always going to be an issue. As soon as she was diagnosed and got sick and then put on weight, it just stuffed it up. She walks a fair distance to work now. I'm sure one day we will have sex again, it's just the waiting that sucks.

We now mainly have it first thing in the morning im not tired then an have no proformance problems then:thumright:

 

[phear]

i know this is an old post but im 98% sure that she is / was suffering from depression and this is the cause of her not wanting to have sex, because even when you have no energy you still push yourself to do it occasionally and if i read right she is riding her bike to work and back, it certainly is not the fact she has no energy!

i know this because when i was suffering from depression as well as the chrons a couple of years ago i went cold and didnt want to have sex partly due to my guts (cramps bloating running to the loo all the time you all know...) (im a guy and yes it felt weird not wanting it 24/7) and had to just force myself to do it every now and again, it lead to my partner cheating on me so she is very lucky to have you being that understanding..

this disease certainly makes it very clear for you to know who your TRUE friends are!

i hope for your sake that you have not replied to this thread because things are back on track, i hope you come and reply 1 day so i can tell if i was on the right track or i was completely off the mark.

 

[KWalker]

Continuing with what phear said, I also believe that this could be an anxiety/depression issue. My fiancee suffers from anxiety and we would go sometimes months without having sex before she started seeing a counselor and getting some medicine. I don't know if I agree that sex is a HUGE part of a relationship, but I believe intimacy can make a difference. To me there are ways to be close without having sex like cuddling, holding hands, etc and to me if a partner is still wanting to do that, they must still show some sort of attraction in the relationship. Unless of course they're out running around with others (which in your case I don't believe that's the case).

I talked to my fiancee about it when she was going through it and she was open with me. She told me that she wants to be close and cuddle and that but had no desire to get naked and have sex. It's almost like they don't feel comfortable with themselves to get naked and be close with a partner. I honestly don't think it's her fault either, and she could very well have something going on that may not be severe enough to really show, but bad enough to make a difference (IE: her sex drive)

I commend you for sticking with her. It proves that sex isn't the only thing men care about and it doesn't make you a bad person for being concerned and posting about this. I hope things work out for you guys!

 

[kiny]

Having sex wastes 300 Kcal. I'm just saying.

 

[KWalker]

Wastes? You're either a virgin or you suck at sex lol

 

[kiny]

It's a waste if you work out and are underweight like some are here. It's a fuckton of calories, your workout is literally for nothing if you do it on the same day, so it's important to time it, that's why athletes don't have sex for weeks before big events. I never have sex on days I work out or when I bulk, besides, you get dopamine and insuline spikes from working out and timing your meals right, which is way better than sex for me. That's why people say sometimes "working out feels good", it's because of dopamine release, the same thing that's released during an orgasm. My own health will always come before something like sex, if I feel it's wasting too much energy, then my health comes first.

Just as a comparison to know why it matters:

running 1 mile: around 100 Kcal
having sex for about 30 minutes: around 300 Kcal

So if you're having sex 3 times a week and wondering why you're not gaining weight...it all matters.

I'm not saying not to have sex, I'm just saying that it is important to take sex into consideration, since it does in fact burn a substantial amount of calories.

 

[EthanPSU]

300cal isn't really that much, ill just ear one nutty bar hah.

I'd rather be having sex and staying at the same weight, but i'm not so I mise well be putting on the weight for the future hah.

 

[RFarmer]

TIME FOR SCIENCE.

1kcal = 1 Calorie. Generally, we just use Calorie, as to avoid confusing people. Meaning, 2000 Calories = 2000000 calories, what you need in a day, and the amount of energy needed to increase the temperature of 1mL of water by 1 kelvin. (I believe)


300 Calories isn't really that much, like that guy said. (who is he? I disappeared for a while, and now he's everywhere!). If you're that concerned, have some chips, or involve whipping cream in your... festivities. XD

You don't get as much of a dopamine spike from running as you do from sex. Dopamine spikes from running to combat the physical exertion. It's evolution! Dopamine spikes from sex to a) combat exertion, and b) because it's sex and it's fun.

So that's sex-ed 101.

> having sex for 30 minutes

Crohnies can't last that long.

 

[sid]

..so are you guys saying...I cant get those muscles because I have sex almost daily ?? ..honestly..I am ready to belive it..cause since childhood, I have been reading , that doesnt actually affect ypur body, but deep inside, I know I feel li'l weaker, everytime.

....and who says Crohnies cant last 30 minutes ? :nonono:

 

[kiny]

nm, don't want to get banned again for saying anything

 

[RFarmer]

nm, don't want to get banned again for saying anything

> nm

> implying you had said something offensive to begin with

> not realizing it says if you edited your post.

WHY

..so are you guys saying...I cant get those muscles because I have sex almost daily ?? ..honestly..I am ready to belive it..cause since childhood, I have been reading , that doesnt actually affect ypur body, but deep inside, I know I feel li'l weaker, everytime.

....and who says Crohnies cant last 30 minutes ? :nonono:

such a stud muffin XD

"cause since childhood"... how much sex did you have in childhood? lol

I think the idea that kiny is so fervently trying to push is the idea that sex uses a lot of energy. While of course, 300C isn't really that much, and how much energy you use is dependent on what your sex is like, it does use up energy. But think about this: Our diet is generally regarded as needed 2000-2500 Calories a day, right? We're also supposed to get x-hours of exercise daily, correct? So what's wrong with sexin' it up? It's good exercise, and has a lot of mental benefits.

tl;dr SEX IS REALLY GOOD FOR YOU.

 

[EthanPSU]

300 Calories isn't really that much, like that guy said. (who is he? I disappeared for a while, and now he's everywhere!). If you're that concerned, have some chips, or involve whipping cream in your... festivities. XD.

Been around longer then you ma man. And also, I have wiped my screen twice cause of ur name thingy

 

[RFarmer]

Been around longer then you ma man. And also, I have wiped my screen twice cause of ur name thingy

Did you go by a different name before? Are you who?

I left for a while, and then you were here, doing stuff.

Also, i've been here since 1978, so...

 

[KWalker]

So uh, I had a muffin this morning for breakfast and it was 360 calories. Now I can have sex today and still have some calories left! Its 300 calories, you're not going to look like an ethopian because you have sex. The only reason I can think for anyone to ever enjoy jogging over sex because you suck at sex and never had good sex, or you've never had sex at all. Like EthanPSU I would also much rather have sex than gain weight. It would seem you're running and excercise is useless too if you're still not getting sex.

Oh, and like Sid I can also last more than 30 minutes. Is it possible that you cannot (kiny) because of the lack of "practice" you get?

 

[KWalker]

I also just ate a chocolate bar with 450 calories. Guess I can get lucky twice today. Enjoy you're run!

 

[RFarmer]

So uh, I had a muffin this morning for breakfast and it was 360 calories. Now I can have sex today and still have some calories left! Its 300 calories, you're not going to look like an ethopian because you have sex. The only reason I can think for anyone to ever enjoy jogging over sex because you suck at sex and never had good sex, or you've never had sex at all. Like EthanPSU I would also much rather have sex than gain weight. It would seem you're running and excercise is useless too if you're still not getting sex.

Oh, and like Sid I can also last more than 30 minutes. Is it possible that you cannot (kiny) because of the lack of "practice" you get?

that was actually me who made the 30 minute crack.

Sex is biologically proven to make you happier. Maybe that's why non-sexers are so grumpy?

 

[EthanPSU]

Did you go by a different name before? Are you who?

I left for a while, and then you were here, doing stuff.

Also, i've been here since 1978, so...

Hah, I can see, i'm just playing but for the name change, Nah, I was here ahwile before college then left but back now.

 

[KWalker]

Yeah I know it was you originally but then sid implied that he could last 30 minutes lol.

I agree with your comment about sex making you happier. I live with my fiancee so the sex is there whenever the other is in the mood. Maybe that's why kiny (non-sexer as you call it lol) is sending out all the negative posts lately

 

[RFarmer]

Yeah I know it was you originally but then sid implied that he could last 30 minutes lol.

I agree with your comment about sex making you happier. I live with my fiancee so the sex is there whenever the other is in the mood. Maybe that's why kiny (non-sexer as you call it lol) is sending out all the negative posts lately

> lately

lol

 

[KWalker]

A+ you sir, win at the internet.

 

[kiny]

Oh, and like Sid I can also last more than 30 minutes. Is it possible that you cannot (kiny) because of the lack of "practice" you get?

I would lack practice if I had a skeleton like the one sitting next to you.

 

[RFarmer]

I would lack practice if I had a skeleton like the one sitting next to you.

Did you actually just insult his fiancee?

lol











ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้

 

[KWalker]

Aww it bothers you that I get more sex than you without working out. That's cute

 

[EthanPSU]

I thought girls loved being called skinny lol

 

[KWalker]

Kiny likes to be the one in the relationship who gets exercise.

 

[RFarmer]

I thought girls loved being called skinny lol

I knew this girl once, who complained to me that people wanted to be skinny, because she was naturally skinny, and wanted to be unique. I punched her boob. No joke.

 

[sid]

such a stud muffin XD

"cause since childhood"... how much sex did you have in childhood? lol

Never...although even as a child I always looked at older girls with the intention of getting one.

anyways..what I said was I've been "reading" since childhood that sex is good for you..and not that i have been having sex since childhood...lol

I think the idea that kiny is so fervently trying to push is the idea that sex uses a lot of energy. While of course, 300C isn't really that much, and how much energy you use is dependent on what your sex is like, it does use up energy. But think about this: Our diet is generally regarded as needed 2000-2500 Calories a day, right? We're also supposed to get x-hours of exercise daily, correct? So what's wrong with sexin' it up? It's good exercise, and has a lot of mental benefits.

tl;dr SEX IS REALLY GOOD FOR YOU.

heart is willing to agree with the numbers and stats you have mentioned....but I honestly...somehwre I feel continuous sex or to be precise intercourse too often does make you weak....call me old school..but I know my body best. at last i might say , may be there is something to do with my body only and other dont experience this...now that doesnt mean..am gonna stop it !!

 

[RFarmer]

Never...although even as a child I always looked at older girls with the intention of getting one.

anyways..what I said was I've been "reading" since childhood that sex is good for you..and not that i have been having sex since childhood...lol



heart is willing to agree with the numbers and stats you have mentioned....but I honestly...somehwre I feel continuous sex or to be precise intercourse too often does make you weak....call me old school..but I know my body best. at last i might say , may be there is something to do with my body only and other dont experience this...now that doesnt mean..am gonna stop it !!

maybe you're too old for sex?

like in those cialis commercials.

" consult your doctor to see if your heart is healthy enough for sexual activity "


lol

 

[sid]

maybe you're too old for sex?

like in those cialis commercials.

" consult your doctor to see if your heart is healthy enough for sexual activity "


lol

Lol..I said sex ..intercourse to be precise (since you have issues comprehending my posts) makes you feel 'weaker'..not that your you start fainting or panting. Now are you saying that you dont feel weaker or exhausted after the sex ?? or general weakness if have it continuously like twice or thrice ?? If you say no...then, I think you simply havent had sex ever...you may try dolls though...just a suggestion

 

[legacywwe]

Ok it's me. The original poster. Things haven't improved really. She's still tired all the time, work definitely doesn't help. Always stressed. We are working on it though and some things have happened since last post so an improvement you could say. But you definitely have to strike when iron is hot.