Thought I'd drop by with... idk if they're words of encouragement or what to call it.
I've been single my entire life because I struggle with social anxiety, and other facets of normal socialization.
I never reached out much to people around me in school, and when they reached out to me I didn't know how to respond, came off as hostile or reproachful.
After highschool I went straight to a quick course, small college where I hardly talked to anyone except my friend from HS I went with.
Immediately after I went straight onto disability and lived my life through world of warcraft and online forums where I came cynical because the online communities of many games and forums are predominantly hostile and negative.
When it came time to rejoin the world after I got my symptoms under control with diet, I suffered from a worsening of social anxiety. On top of that I've had chronic depression since trying Accutane in highschool.
I started making account on dating websites shortly before I started working again. I sent hundreds of messages and got very few replies. I didn't find it easy to create natural, organic conversations with people on these websites.
At work I made friends that reached out to me, and it made it much easier to leave me shell, but the social anxiety and also coping with Crohn's made things tough. Dating seemed impossible, restaurants and alcohol are strictly off the table to me, but I didn't give up anyway.
It took me 2 full years (at age of 25) before my first 'date' ever happened. After that a lot of my anxiety was lifted, and I've met over 6-7 girls now from various dating apps / websites. Obviously none of them really 'worked out' but that's how it is when your entire premise is basically "you're pretty, I'm pretty, let's meet and see if we click."
But in dealing with my Crohn's I've decided to just be upfront. I put right in my profile I can't do alcohol or restaurants, so if that's what's important to you then keep moving. Most people I talk to are at least willing to put that aside initially.
The girl I'm talking to right now I've known for a little over two months, I wouldn't say we're 'dating' but we hang out a lot on weekends. She enjoys going to the grocery store and pointing at stuff and saying "Can you eat that!?" and I'll read the ingredients and tell her all the reasons I can't. She's also offered to be an FMT donor if I ever go that route.
I went to some of her family events and they were asking me what I can and can't eat. I jokingly told them I'm a plant and I live off sunlight and water, there was an awkward silence before I explained that I have crohn's and they understood why I wouldn't accept food.
Idk if this will go anywhere / work out, just stay as friends or fizzle out since it's not that simple, but I just think it's important to focus on reaching out to people, keep trying, keep positive, and never forget to do the things that make you happy and fulfilled because that makes you the kind of person that other people want to be around.
Your Crohn's will always influence your life, but it doesn't have to define you, and you'll find people that won't let it define you in their eyes either.
This is a post I found on imgur the other day I think is helpful:
http://imgur.com/gallery/Llf5Tj9
The guy's wife left him after he became a paraplegic. His tattoo sums up his feelings on it:
"What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
Who you are will always prevail over what's going on in your life when you find the right people.
And if you're having problems with depression PLEASE seek help. Crohn's very likely causes or possibly RESULTS from the same chemical imbalances that cause depression. Some UC patients even go into remission on Welbutrin! You already have Crohn's you don't have to face depression as well.
I'm self medicating on tyrosine and 5-htp and when I get my dosing right it's profound.
