Hi everyone! I'm really new to forums and they tend to confuse/overwhelm me, but I wasn't sure where else to go to find some support. My husband was diagnosed with Crohn's 5 1/2 years ago while he was going through Navy boot camp. He was subsequently given a medical discharge. We've been married for just over 3 years, have an almost-2-year-old daughter and our expecting our second baby in December.
Compared to other people, I think my husband's disease is more mild, but it still impacts our lives every day. He's currently not on any medications because we've never seen much improvement with any of them. He hasn't seen a GI in over a year because we haven't been able to find one we like and have been uninsured for the past 6 months or so.
I can really relate to SadieSue and LadyShawn in regards to feeling like a single mom and feeling alone.
I've felt like a single mother many times. I do everything at home to ensure my husband is healthy enough to work. Now days, a lot of energy is spent on figuring out what to feed my daughter. I don't feel I can complain to my husband because when he's "healthy" he helps out so much. He tries so hard. I can't tell him how alone I feel. I tried once and it hurt him. He said he was so sorry and felt he failed me. I've never told him anything close to that again. I don't feel any friends or family understand my situation.
Lately, we've been trying an elimination diet but nothing is coming together. Sometimes it seems like food doesn't affect him at all but rather stress. After a bad flare and constant pain for a couple weeks, we had three or four great days where he was feeling good. And then he had a stressful day at work and his pain returned.
I'm just exhausted right now. Being pregnant and having a toddler is tiring anyways, but with the added stress/work caused by Crohn's, I don't know how to keep up. My husband works so hard for us--currently he works 4am to 9am at Lowe's and then goes to a second job doing first aid from 10am to 8pm (usually, but sometimes works as late as 11 or midnight). On top of those two jobs, he is a volunteer firefighter and usually "pulls shift" at the fire station on one of his days off from the first aid job. Occasionally with the fire department he will also do stand-bys for special events or long-distance non-emergency transports. He's working towards a full-time firefighting career and we're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Next weekend he's testing at a local department and also has the possibility of a temp position at another department here.
I am so proud of him for all he does, especially since he does it all while in pain. It's just so hard not having any of him left for me, you know? I don't know how to view our marriage and our life. I feel like in order for me to function well, I would have to view it more as a patient/caregiver relationship than a husband/wife relationship. I can't expect the things that wives are normally able to expect from their husbands.
Anyways, sorry for the long story that really doesn't have a point to it. I just needed to get some things off my chest. Looking forward to getting to know some of you.
