- Joined
- Dec 27, 2012
- Messages
- 2,335
Hey all.
I know that in the main forum we have a list of tips and suggestions for people who have just been diagnosed and I was thinking it might be good if we did the same here, some things are different as a teenager, there might be things that you found more difficult because of age or things maybe older patients might not of had to deal with. I'll start us off and then you guys can add to it.
Here are my tips to start with -
Dealing with appointments
I know some of you feel it's hard to get heard when in your doctors office, they may react like you are over exaggerating symptoms or make you feel like you have to sit there while your mum / Dad do all the talking.
The way we got around this was for us to go in and I would automatically start talking, even if the doctors weren't looking at me. Eventually we moved on to my parents sit in the waiting area while I went into the doctor myself. I've been going totally on my own for about 3-4 years now.
If this feels too daunting, sit down with your parents and tell them everything you would like covered at your appointment, or write them a list so they can bring them up for you.
School
Sometimes our condition means we have to miss a lot of school. This can mean we fall behind and sometimes feel left out. I would always go and find the teacher when I got back to school and ask for all the handouts and my friends would show me what they had done. Most of my teachers were very understanding.
Confidence / achieving your goals
Peer pressure can be a hard thing to deal with. There is a lot of pressure from friends, school mates, media, etc to look and act a certain way, and this can often be felt the most as a teenager.
Having IBD can make this even harder to deal with, it can dent your self confidence, particularly if you cant maintain a healthy weight because of your illness, or you are suffering from rashes because of your medications. You may need to have a central IV or NG tube, and you may have surgery which results in scarring or an ostomy. These things can all have a huge impact on the way you see yourself and your self confidence.
It is important that while IBD can make us feel isolated and different from those around us, but it is important to remember that our true friends will always try to understand and be there for us, our scars are a symbol of our fight to stay healthy, and they show that we are strong and brave.
Having IBD can change our outlook on life in many ways, and it can make us appreciate the small things more than our friends and peers. It may make you feel like you have grown up/matured faster than those around you. Always remember though, that as long as your condition is controlled, you can lead a long, happy, fulfilled life that contains many of the things you may think you wont get to do. If you want to go to college, university, have a successful career, start a family then all of that can be possible, it may take a little more effort for us than for other people, but that will just make us appreciate it all the more.
socializing
Sometimes it's hard to socialize with IBD, and other times we can feel like our friends just don't get what it's like.
I have lost a few friends since school because they were too much of a stressful, negative influence.
Don't be afraid to cut of those who make fun or just don't seem to care, real friends will do what they can to support you and understand when you are too sick to go out with them.
I am lucky enough to have some really good friends, one even took me to A+E in the middle of the night when we were both away at uni before I was diagnosed.
Over bearing relatives or teachers
It is very easy for family members or other adults to get a bit over the top when it comes to taking care of us. To them we will always be babies that need looking after and having IBD just makes that more real. If you feel like you are being overly restricted then try to talk to them and tell them how you feel. It can be very frustrating. Sometimes we need to give them a gentle reminder of what we can do and be willing to compromise a little
.
Dealing with relationships
Through our teenage years, it is common to start wanting to have closer personal relationships, this can be an exciting but daunting time for any teenager, we all get our hearts broken at some point. There can be even more to think about for someone with IBD. You may feel like others may not want to engage in a relationship with you if they discover your sickness, especially with all the embarrassing side effects, however, if someone truely cares about you and wants to be with you, then they will stand by you no matter how bad things get, they will not judge you and they won't think any less of you because of your condition.
I know that in the main forum we have a list of tips and suggestions for people who have just been diagnosed and I was thinking it might be good if we did the same here, some things are different as a teenager, there might be things that you found more difficult because of age or things maybe older patients might not of had to deal with. I'll start us off and then you guys can add to it.
Here are my tips to start with -
Dealing with appointments
I know some of you feel it's hard to get heard when in your doctors office, they may react like you are over exaggerating symptoms or make you feel like you have to sit there while your mum / Dad do all the talking.
The way we got around this was for us to go in and I would automatically start talking, even if the doctors weren't looking at me. Eventually we moved on to my parents sit in the waiting area while I went into the doctor myself. I've been going totally on my own for about 3-4 years now.
If this feels too daunting, sit down with your parents and tell them everything you would like covered at your appointment, or write them a list so they can bring them up for you.
School
Sometimes our condition means we have to miss a lot of school. This can mean we fall behind and sometimes feel left out. I would always go and find the teacher when I got back to school and ask for all the handouts and my friends would show me what they had done. Most of my teachers were very understanding.
Confidence / achieving your goals
Peer pressure can be a hard thing to deal with. There is a lot of pressure from friends, school mates, media, etc to look and act a certain way, and this can often be felt the most as a teenager.
Having IBD can make this even harder to deal with, it can dent your self confidence, particularly if you cant maintain a healthy weight because of your illness, or you are suffering from rashes because of your medications. You may need to have a central IV or NG tube, and you may have surgery which results in scarring or an ostomy. These things can all have a huge impact on the way you see yourself and your self confidence.
It is important that while IBD can make us feel isolated and different from those around us, but it is important to remember that our true friends will always try to understand and be there for us, our scars are a symbol of our fight to stay healthy, and they show that we are strong and brave.
Having IBD can change our outlook on life in many ways, and it can make us appreciate the small things more than our friends and peers. It may make you feel like you have grown up/matured faster than those around you. Always remember though, that as long as your condition is controlled, you can lead a long, happy, fulfilled life that contains many of the things you may think you wont get to do. If you want to go to college, university, have a successful career, start a family then all of that can be possible, it may take a little more effort for us than for other people, but that will just make us appreciate it all the more.
socializing
Sometimes it's hard to socialize with IBD, and other times we can feel like our friends just don't get what it's like.
I have lost a few friends since school because they were too much of a stressful, negative influence.
Don't be afraid to cut of those who make fun or just don't seem to care, real friends will do what they can to support you and understand when you are too sick to go out with them.
I am lucky enough to have some really good friends, one even took me to A+E in the middle of the night when we were both away at uni before I was diagnosed.
Over bearing relatives or teachers
It is very easy for family members or other adults to get a bit over the top when it comes to taking care of us. To them we will always be babies that need looking after and having IBD just makes that more real. If you feel like you are being overly restricted then try to talk to them and tell them how you feel. It can be very frustrating. Sometimes we need to give them a gentle reminder of what we can do and be willing to compromise a little
. Dealing with relationships
Through our teenage years, it is common to start wanting to have closer personal relationships, this can be an exciting but daunting time for any teenager, we all get our hearts broken at some point. There can be even more to think about for someone with IBD. You may feel like others may not want to engage in a relationship with you if they discover your sickness, especially with all the embarrassing side effects, however, if someone truely cares about you and wants to be with you, then they will stand by you no matter how bad things get, they will not judge you and they won't think any less of you because of your condition.
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