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Don't ya just hate when...

You just finish a HUGE meal and suddenly you get super itchy and stingy, but there is no way you can change the bag without a tremendous mess making it nearly impossible to accomplish and get a good seal!?!?! Ugh!

Merry Christmas! :ytongue:
 
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Woohoo! One more pro for getting that ostomy!

Since food tends to go through way faster, I'm curious if you would actually eat more than normal :p
 
I know I certainly do! The first few months after surgery there is an adjustment period of eating small frequent meals, but now I am a regular piggy.
 

Terriernut

Moderator
I personally think an 'All you can eat' would be perfect for us. Just put a bucket under me and let me go! We had a lovely member here (a emergency tech if I recall) who suggested it.

I'm up for it....anyone else?
 
I'm in also.
Went on a big car adventure today. A bit like griswald family vacation, and without word of a lie I ha to burp bag every hour. I was just so full of hot air. So maybe I should wait for the gas to go before the Buffett.
 
lol I hate it when it goes on the toilet seat. Or, even worse, a bit seems to get flicked onto an item of clothing! Gross.
 

annawato

Moderator
Staff member
:rof:
Janette that happens to me ALL the time - even without being drunk!
All over the seat, On the floor, around the toilet rim, even flicked on the wall. And me.
Once I was out shopping and this happened. I was in a large disabled restroom, the toilet paper was the lousy stuff that disintegrates when wet and of course I had poop on my hands too. So I had to cross the room to get some paper towel and of course forgot to do up my pouch in my panic. More poop everywhere, all over my clothes and all over the rest of the room that I'd missed first time around.
Needless to say I went straight home.
After cleaning up the room.
 
:rof:
Janette that happens to me ALL the time - even without being drunk!
All over the seat, On the floor, around the toilet rim, even flicked on the wall. And me.
Once I was out shopping and this happened. I was in a large disabled restroom, the toilet paper was the lousy stuff that disintegrates when wet and of course I had poop on my hands too. So I had to cross the room to get some paper towel and of course forgot to do up my pouch in my panic. More poop everywhere, all over my clothes and all over the rest of the room that I'd missed first time around.
Needless to say I went straight home.
After cleaning up the room.
Oh...my... you poor thing! Hahaha!
 

Terriernut

Moderator
Oh myyyyyyy! The way I figure it is, if you are going to make a mess there is no point in going half way is there!?
 
Oh Anna! What a nightmare! What did you do?? Just clean up your clothes as best you could? At least you were somewhere where you could go home right away!
 
Location
Australia
Splash back horrors!!
I never learn!
I've hit walls, doors, seats, cisterns, clothes (top and bottom), shoes (even got a piece of peanut wedged between my toes - disgusting!), hands, legs and even face!!
The face splash gave me a hell of a fright - gross.
 
When I had mine I was really good at missing the toilet when my output was watery. I mean really... I couldn't make the toilet??? Isn't that a rectally-inclined person's problem?!!
 

annawato

Moderator
Staff member
Oh Anna! What a nightmare! What did you do?? Just clean up your clothes as best you could? At least you were somewhere where you could go home right away!
yes I just cleaned up best I could - my husband was waiting nearby and I just walked up and said We're going and kept on walking. He knew I must have had a problem cos I was so long.
KatieSue. rectally-inclined, thats definitely me. :)
Samboi, a peanut. OMG. Glad I'm not the only one.
 
Well that's lucky! I went to the cinema with my friend the other night and it leaked and I didn't realise till I got out. Not a massive leak but had to change in the toilet.

The next day he got funny because he was surprised as to why I wanted to go home right away!!! Err....
 
All we seem to do is fight poop - before and after surgery!! I hate it when it drops on my feet in the shower ha ha
 

annawato

Moderator
Staff member
All we seem to do is fight poop - before and after surgery!! I hate it when it drops on my feet in the shower ha ha
Oh yeah. Had another leak last night, woke up and ran to the bathroom leaving a trail of poop on the carpet behind me plus all down my leg, over my feet, you know the story. :cry:
 

Nyx

Moderator
I feel badly for all you guys with the watery output that gets everywhere...the worst that happens to me, is my poop shoots out and I sometimes don't see where it goes. Then I'm on a poop hunt....lol
 
I feel badly for all you guys with the watery output that gets everywhere...the worst that happens to me, is my poop shoots out and I sometimes don't see where it goes. Then I'm on a poop hunt....lol
poop hunt..... HAHAHAHA!!!!!
 
And when you almost wake up, but not enough to really know what is happening, think you can burp your bag - then suddenly realise it's not actually air that is filling it up!! :ack:
 

PsychoJane

Moderator
Wow...! This is fun to read, it makes me feel better about my poop misadventures haha! Know I laugh about them, I use to cry xD.

Best shot was in Mexico. The child gone wild, I was 19. Took a 3 day bus ride from Quebec to Mexico. When we got to the border, at the first Mexican bus station, well it was my initiation to their world and that weird concept of paying to get toilet paper from a dude or a lady at the entrance: 10cents... 3 squares. Something ridiculous like that.

So I tell myself, no problem, just need to cover my stoma (as I have said in previous posts, I empty my bag from the top and use closed bags. So I went there to empty my bag, and I was wearing a scarf, and my scarf was about to fall in the toilet so my good reflexes made me try to catch it... With the hand I was already holding my bag... I literally spread my poop all around the bathroom like , everywhere... So... I used the scarf, since I had only 3 darn piece of toilet paper to clean the mess. Aww... life was terrible that day haha! Thank god there were sinks where I could wash my scarf...

Worst in all that was that the friends I was with were not even aware that I had a bag at the time because I had not made the step of telling people easily. Try explaining why you get out of the bathroom crying with a wet scarf...
 
...or, even worse, when you half wake up, burp your bag, and go back to sleep without having closed it properly - only to wake up later to find...:facepalm:
 

annawato

Moderator
Staff member
I feel badly for all you guys with the watery output that gets everywhere...the worst that happens to me, is my poop shoots out and I sometimes don't see where it goes. Then I'm on a poop hunt....lol
:rof:
 
Once in church, I had to go pee, and was standing over the toilet and my bag fell off right into the toilet, (ofrgot my belt) as I was zipping up, poo everywhere including me. So I thought that I would just snap a new bag on. I discovered I brought the wrong size bag for the wafer I was wearing so I had to do a complete change, new wafer and all right there in the church bathroom. I was so frustrated. I went home even before services ended.
 
The thing I also hate is when you are out... and you empty your bag.. and it's gone everywhere as it does, although mainly just down the sides of the toilet.

Then you flush and... nothing! The toilet wont flush!!! Ahhhhhh it looks like you just had a massive case of the squits although the next person that goes in there will have no idea why it's down the front of the toilet and not the back. I just cover it up with some more toilet paper! haha!
 
I had that happen the other day in the toilets in the Arts centre in Melbourne. It just wouldn't flush although I hung around for a while hoping that it would fill up. Fortunately no-one was waiting when I came out.
 
lol that was lucky!

Sometimes mine is a certain consistency and it just sticks to the sides! I would put toilet paper down before but that damned output just never lands where you want it to!!!
 
Location
Kirkwood,
:ack: My volcanic action splash gross out got a drip or two on my glasses, nose AND mouth. I nearly hurled in the toilet as well, but maintained my composure while laugh/almost crying. LOL!!!! :ywow:
 

ron50

Well-known member
With the greatest of respect to you incredible ostomates I have just come to the absolute conclusion that despite what drastic medical problems arise ,they can keep their hands off the exhaust system. It's been shortened once but it ain't gonna happen again. Thank you for helping me make this decision Ron.
 
Oh, please don't let us put you off, Ron. These things happen only occasionally and are far outweighed by the advantages. Most of us have found that we have been given our lives back since having an ostomy.
 

annawato

Moderator
Staff member
haha, Ron, don't let us put you off, these are the worst that can happen events. They're not regular, well.......not for everyone. :)
 

Nyx

Moderator
Ron...don't let us put you off having a stoma if you need to at some point. We're jokesters around here, and find that laughing about what happens is better than crying about it. Things happen, you adapt, get over it, and move on. We just happen to be graphic about it around here....lol
 
Location
Australia
Fortunately - I have always managed to clean up my messes (with the exception of a cursed plane toilet that just refused to budge and bloody well flush - I felt so ashamed walking away from that brown stained debacle) I just panicked!!!
 

annawato

Moderator
Staff member
Just so long as there wasn't a queue waiting after you! :ymad:
Actually I used to always wonder how people could get poo everywhere on a toilet. Now I know. Its people like me! :redface: though I do do everything I can to clean up. :(
 
Location
Australia
No queue - phew!!
I was mortified.
It was quite humiliating.
I'm meticulous about not leaving strange bewildering messes - unfathomable puzzles for the next person.
 
Oh Ron! The fact that we can joke about this stuff just goes to show that it doesn't really bother us!

There aren't many threads around here with non-ostomates laughing about when they had an accident out in public or how they had to hide their pain etc etc.

Quite frankly I love how I don't poo like normal people. It's a novelty that I can share with other people like the weird noises it makes! Much better than trying to hold in those smelly and painful farts that may or not be accompanied by follow through!!

My ileostomy is the best thing I ever did!!!
 
Actually I used to always wonder how people could get poo everywhere on a toilet. Now I know. Its people like me! :redface:
I've thought back to different times in a public toilet where I saw someone else with their feet pointed the wrong direction and making a noise that I thought was emptying out a cup of coffee or something. Brings a smile to my face now!
 

ron50

Well-known member
Don't worry Michelle I was joining in the fun. When you go under the knife for colon cancer you really don't know what you will wake up with. I was lucky my cancer was in the transvers and descending colon. They are pretty much the same sized plumbing and can be rejoined straight away. A lot of my survivor friends had temps while things shrunk down to resectable sizes. Quite a few have then opted to go back to the bag as it gave them a far better quality of life which I can understand it if the option is fill the bag or fill your pants...... They think with me it will be my heart that will wear out first but believe me my epitaph will read 'he died of a worn out A hole'' Ron.
 
Oh Snap
I know how you feel. Went out to tea on Friday night for a good friends farewell. Was at a Chinese restaurant. Felt the bulge of the bag and decided had better empty it before it got out of hand. Well, toilet was really close to the ground! I untethered we poop bag and bang, it hit the water and bounced back with such gusto I even had drops of poo in my hair! NASTY. So, wet wiped my hair and face and then did the whole washroom mini bath. Not sure what they thought, went to loo with makeup on and hair down and done, came out missing lots of makeup and with wet hair. One of the girls asked me what had happened? Giggling I told her just messing about in the loo.
 

Terriernut

Moderator
Oh Snap
I know how you feel. Went out to tea on Friday night for a good friends farewell. Was at a Chinese restaurant. Felt the bulge of the bag and decided had better empty it before it got out of hand. Well, toilet was really close to the ground! I untethered we poop bag and bang, it hit the water and bounced back with such gusto I even had drops of poo in my hair! NASTY. So, wet wiped my hair and face and then did the whole washroom mini bath. Not sure what they thought, went to loo with makeup on and hair down and done, came out missing lots of makeup and with wet hair. One of the girls asked me what had happened? Giggling I told her just messing about in the loo.
Jan! Next time tell them you had a 'meeting' with a handsome stranger...like Johnny Depp! (walk funny when you come out)
:ytongue:
 
Oh man this thread made me laugh out loud! I thankfully haven't made any public messes as of yet. I'm sure I will at some point.
I have had little splashbacks and little splatters on the seat but nothing that couldn't be cleaned up easily. I'm so paranoid about getting anything on my clothing. I think I'm extra careful when emptying in public because of it.
 
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