I just wanted to echo what xmdmom said - My daughter has PTSD and I was allowed to stay with her last year for 12 day hospitalization.
I would not assume that all adult hospitals are not allowing visitors. M was hospitalized 3 times last year - twice at adult hospitals and once at a pediatric hospital. In March 2020 she was at a adult hospital and since that’s when COVID was starting, she had to stay without me and I wasn’t allowed to visit at all - no visitors at all. However, by November, when she was hospitalized again, they were allowing visitors and allowed me to stay the night with her. In summer of 2020, she was hospitalized at a pediatric hospital and was allowed one parent to stay the night and one adult (a family member) was allowed to visit. She was not allowed to leave her room at all and the rules were very strict. They wouldn’t even let us keep ice packs in the freezer.
She’s just out of another hospitalization at that same pediatric hospital and now visitors are allowed during the day (so she had friend visit twice) and you can have up to two family members stay at night (though logistically speaking no idea how we’d even fit two extra adults in a hospital room!!). The rules are much more relaxed, she could walk around outside her room and visit the roof garden.
So I really would not just assume that adult hospitals are not allowing an overnight visitor. The rules really have been relaxed a LOT. For all of 2020 and about half of 2021, she had to do outpatient procedures that required sedation or anesthesia by herself, despite the PTSD. But they took extra care of her and always let me stay outside, in the waiting room, so I wasn’t too far away (they weren’t even allowing family members in the waiting room at the time). She now does not need me there but those rules have also been relaxed now (and all her procedures are at adult hospitals) and I can go back with her before procedures, if she wants that.
She has been hospitalized 15 times in 7 years so she is very sick of hospitalizations. But as she has gotten older, she has actually started preferring adult hospitals because she says they treat her like an adult and she feels like they listen to her more. Her voice counts more and she does really prefer being treated like an adult. But she is a few years older than O.
But at the same time, she definitely does feel that pediatric hospitals are friendlier and gentler. And her most major surgeries were done at a children’s hospital and she is glad of that, though in her case it was a surgeon who treated both adults and kids and had admitting privileges at both the adult and pediatric side of the hospital. We were very glad to have a surgeon with so much experience since her replacements were joints that are less commonly replaced (not hip or knee). At the time, she did not know him well - she was his patient just for 6 months before the surgery. But he was really the best option because he had so much experience and her joints were a mess.
I think there is no harm in exploring the option of surgery at an adult hospital with a surgeon who is a dedicated colorectal surgeon. But I do also recognize it is a lot easier to do a major surgery at a hospital you know and with a surgeon you know.
But I also wonder if there is a colorectal surgeon at the adult counterpart of the hospital she goes to who may be able to operate on her at the pediatric hospital. Or could at least consult. Or at the very least, could she be set up to see ostomy nurses at the adult hospital after discharge? It’s hard because there is not a lot of time before surgery and I know she either wants surgery this December or next December so not doing surgery this December is probably not a good or safe option. But at the same time, I’d definitely be more comfortable if she was seeing a colorectal surgeon, especially given the amount of inflammation there is. And I think a second opinion is always a good idea with a major surgery, though again, since she is home so infrequently I do recognize that’s easier said than done.
I think
@xmdmom listed some great questions. I also wonder when the switch to Stelara is going to happen. Since it takes a while to kick in, I’m worried about inflammation going up if she’s switched to Stelara right before surgery.
Also, if she’s not willing to do EEN before the surgery, would she be willing to do supplemental feeds every night instead of 3 times a week? I know she’s gained weight but she still does not have much of a cushion.
(that cat might be the only creature on the planet that likes the taste of unflavored Neocate!).
).
yes vomiting after abdominal surgery is a special kind of misery, I hope that has settled down. I remember oxy doing sod all and giving up then a nurse saying you have to keep going to get a good level in the body rather than one off so I did and then it was magic, to the point I refused to give up the machine that supplied it and sulked for a day when they refused to refill. So yes the pain is miserable but it can be reduced a good amount with the right stuff. 
Sending lots of wishes it does her well!!
