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Crohn's Disease Forum

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Well I'm sure this is nothing new to all of you out there, was sitting with my sister and her boyfriend and he knows I have crohns and i've had a lot of problems over the past year and his response to my anemia and being underweight is...

"You're so pale! You just need to spend a day in the sun and go to Mcdonalds Emma"

..... I was not impressed.
 
Some people just never fail to amaze me with their stupidity.......

Now, I want to know what your response was! I know I would have made some type of smart a** remark.....
 
haha i'm usually good with sarcastic comebacks and rarely swear words unless needed but all that would come to me was "get ****ed", clever i know lol
 
A good roll of the eyes always puts people in their place by making them feel awkward and dumb. Even saying certain things like that in jest doesn't help any. Hopefully your sister will talk to him about his dumb comments.
 
Sadly even though she's my older sister she isn't the kind of girl that will do that :/

He was trying to play fight with me and i was "Woo woo, don't, my scars kinda tender at times (from my surgery)" and he's like "rubbish! stop being a wimp1 bet it's a tiny one anyway!" so i whipped my top up and he's like "....oh"
 
Comments like that really wind me up

All i get from my dad is "you need to put some weight on" (no s**t sherlock) and when i say bye to him he always says "and put some weight on will you" if only it was that easy !!! dont get me wrong i think the world of him but he seems to think its so easy

Another i get is "oh i wish i was your size" and "all you need to do is go and eat some pies"

The worst one was my sister in law , she is a typical stand and gossip at the school gate type and when i used to walk over and say hi she used to say in a very loud voice to the others "isnt she skinny , dont you think she needs to put weight on" i used to want the ground to open up and swallow me
 
Yeah luckily my friends don't say things like "you gotta gain weight" instead the praise me when they notice some weightgain, however if it's someone i'm not close with i.e my sisters boyfriend people can be friggin insensitive.

Another example was i came out of the local store and outside was my sister her boyfriend and a girl (who is more of an acquaintance), anyway because we've had beautiful weather recently I walk out to them, the first thing the girl shouts "Emma! You're so pale! Look at you!" then my sisters bf puts his arm to mine "Yeah! Look she's worse than me!" yep I agree with you there PB it was a let the ground swallow me moment lol
 
OMG i dont know how you didnt say anything , i would of replied with something like well at least my condition can be controlled and helped , sadly it seems your mouth and attitude cant !!!

Some people are so narrow minded and seem to think a few pies and cream cakes will make it all better , if only it were that easy
 
I don't know what cream cakes are but I want one now.

One of my sister's bf tries to do that sort of banter with me at times. For me though I tell him to knock it off if I think he's crossing a line if I'm not in the mood because I know that there are subjects that I could bring up and make lightly jokes about with him but I know it wouldn't make him feel good and that he would be hurt or upset. So I just make it a point that we can't talk about certain things or at least not in a joking sort of way. If it continues, then I don't talk to them or look at them. The silent treatment really gets to people sometimes and the banter usually stops. My sister's bf is a New Yorker too so he's just constantly annoying.
 
One of my famous lines (my daughter gets the pale thing too) is you say back...Do you practice saying stupid things or does it just come natural? Idiots!
 
My favourite is
'Oh, I'm sorry, but you've mistaken me for someone who gives a F***!!'

On Friday, a girl in work was quizzin me about my Crohns, and said it's just the runs innit? I lifted my top up and showed her the rash all over my chest, then showed her the bruises on my legs, the stye on my eye, the mouth ulcer on my tongue, and undone my hair to show her the bald patches.
she said, 'Yeah, well at least you're slim, wish I could get it for my wedding in 2 months!!!'
IGNORAMOUS!!!
my eyes just rolled up, I walked away before I knocked her out!
 
My favourite is
'Oh, I'm sorry, but you've mistaken me for someone who gives a F***!!'

On Friday, a girl in work was quizzin me about my Crohns, and said it's just the runs innit? I lifted my top up and showed her the rash all over my chest, then showed her the bruises on my legs, the stye on my eye, the mouth ulcer on my tongue, and undone my hair to show her the bald patches.
she said, 'Yeah, well at least you're slim, wish I could get it for my wedding in 2 months!!!'
IGNORAMOUS!!!
my eyes just rolled up, I walked away before I knocked her out!
OMG how did you not punch her ?? I honestly dont think i would of been abled to walk away xxxx
 
My response would have been: "Great idea. If I can stop shitting myself for five minutes and once the 47 mouth ulcers clear up, I'll stop by McDonald's on the way to the beach to get a tan."
 
JL I shall be using that one!! Ameslouise lmao! That made me laugh lol

Omg Astra I'm speechless "Wish I could have it for my wedding in 2 months" .... wow. just wow.
 
yeah people are just stupid. i mean im sure he cares for you and doesnt want to see you sick? i get the feeling you wouldnt be with him if he didnt lol.
but just idk i guess some people dont know how to handle it when faced with SUCH bleak reality. so many complaints in life are easy to just say oh thats no big deal to, and its TRUE. so what to do when you cant say that? people get stuck there.
or perhaps HE feels like the wimp because you have been a tough lil sh*t and gone thru surgery and pain that he cannot even imagine. guys sometimes dont know what to do with those feelings of their gf being tougher than them as well lol.
i usually try to reply with something that THEY can relate to. whatever their struggle are in life. someone whos fat is telling you to just go to micky d's? well turn it on them and tell them to just go to the gym. they will quickly realize the hypocrisy. i finally got my dad to understand things this way, hes been dieting on and off for some years, gained weight after quitting smoking like so many do. and in trying to explain WHY i dont eat, i asked him why he ate ice cream the night before. like why? you knew you shouldnt have. but you DID. well same on this end of things, i know i should eat food and i know i need to regardless of whether it hurts or not, but in the end, i just DONT.
that is a struggle that everyone can relate to, just gotta pinpoint their situation for them, otherwise they cant seem to put themselves in your shoes.

SO my point is that people just suck. lol really, thats what it comes down to.

i would say, if it happens again or if other things are bothering you about his attitude towards your health, i would bring it up at a different time, NOT at the time of the altercation but later or just randomly when you have some time alone to chat one day. let him know that sometimes you get the feeling like he doesnt take what you go thru seriously and if it hurts your feelings or whatever.
 
Kello, don't group all guys like thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. We're not all meat heads.

As for me when I was in the hospital I was quite skinny(105 pounds at 6 feet) and when my friends would come in and visit I thought to myself, Some day I'ma be bigger then them.
So now I'm 140 hitting the gym a lot and I'm going to get my revenge on the select few people that were saying something stupid about me. My friends never said anything bad though, just acquaintances.
 
people always ask, how do u stay In good shape & u eat a lot of fast food. I respond it is simple workout, LOSE your ass and S@&t in a bag ........ Pretty much shuts them up ( if not show them the bag ) I normally walk awhile with a smile while they stand there in stupid shock LMPO

Some people just need to think before they speak, if not I can leave them a bag LOL

I find it more humous when there stare at my belly try to guess where my appliance is. I tell them if u have a question just ask, I will explain.
 
Kello, don't group all guys like thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. We're not all meat heads.

haha this i know!! didnt mean for it to come across as such a generalization, just suggesting what i see as possible common reasons for what guys as well as just people in general might say and do.
not a fan of generalizations myself, they annoy me too ;)
hahahah
 
Unfortunatly crohns isn't a very know disease like aids or cancer etc etc
so cos ppl can't see a problem with u then you've just got to be lying about it

unfortunatly for me my crohns has affected me in ways that somehow allow me to gain weight rather than loose it :(
I've always been big so the fact I'm putting more weight on doesn't help, as anyone I tell I hav cd that knows anything about it automaticly think I'm full of s**t cos I'm not loosing weight

that's when I feel like poopin on the floor in front of them an showin them all the blood

I've just learnt to ignore all the idiots now
it's amazing how quiet the world is now lmao
 
I wonder if a "prednisone defense" would work in a court of law. It might be possible to beat the @$#& out of someone for saying something stupid then say the prednisone made you do it.

One of the most frustrating things I had to go through when I was first diagnosed was explaining to family members and friends what Crohn's was. I have an Aunt who is the shape of a wood tick and said the same thing about how "she would like to have it for a few months to drop some weight". I just walked out of the room.
 
I don't know if it was PMS but I know PMD has been used. I remember a Law and Order episode on it.
 
Think we need to be issued "Brown" lights and sirens. It would be law they need to move for us, when we needed it. They we would have some respected - DAMN IT, LMPO
 
Yea doin ok Joan

been a bit flat n depressed lately, just so bored of doin nothin
but they never said it would be a quick smooth ride to recovery
 

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