I don't know what to do. Please Help.

[YanagiBlue]

Hello my name is Willow I ma have had Crohns now for 7 years I was diagnosed 7th April the day before my birthday at 9 years old.

I left Secondary school last year and have started College however recently my attendance is so low. It is at less than 60% because of anxiety reasons and my illness. I have been told I wont be able to do next year if I don't get a higher attendance and it has been stressing me out I really want to do well in life and get a good job but it seems working my part time job on just a Saturday and College 4 days a week I am stressed and I don't know what to do. It sounds pathetic really but it is hitting me hard I can worry one thought and my stomach starts cramping and I have to go to the toilet lots.

I am receiving help for my anxiety but nothing has worked with my stress it just keeps coming and coming. I need to work to get money now a days for my phone bill and soon I will be driving and that will cost so I am going to have to work more. I am scared for my future paying for medication and everything else I am terrified that I am going to fail and disappoint my family they have such high hopes for me.

In all honesty I am terrified and can't really talk to anyone around me they don't understand that I am scared to go to college in case I get ill but I still have to go in and I get bullied but no one does anything as it is little things. They don't understand its taking a toll on me I am more tired and working is hard for me as I am on my feet for that Saturday and they are not that supportive of my illness I got into trouble for being on the toilet for half an hour but it was a bad stomach and I need the money so I said sorry and carried on. It hurts when no one around me can know what I am going through I cry nearly every night.

Sorry if this is my own pity party but I have been thinking about giving up but I am also scared to do that.

Please reply someone.

 

[Justanothercp]

I understand, I too had problems dealing with my Zcrohns during college, and being away from home during that is hard. And controlling diet at school is very difficult. Do you have an MD that is working with you to get your symptoms under control?

 

[ronroush7]

Wishing you the best. There are lots of supportive people here.

 

[erk]

Hey, really sorry to hear about all the troubles your crohns is causing.

Are you able to convene with your doctor and a teacher/tutor at the collage, so that someone on your education side can understand what you're going through? It's in their best interests for you to get the most out of collage, I'd have thought there will be provision to help people with studies if they're having medical issues, I definitely think it's worth asking about.

In any case you don't have to suffer alone, it's tough if you have high expectations from your family, perhaps a family member could also do with information from your doctor so they can better understand your crohns?

Sorry if this is all stuff you've already tried, keep us up to date with how you're getting on, if nothing else this is a great place to come to for a good old complain when things are tough!

 

[DeeDee :)]

Hello Willow

I see you, as many other Crohn's patients, at the same time see and don't see that stress is a giant problem in your life that you need to take care of, even if it takes months or more to try to relieve yourself of all the stress levels in your life.
Some stress you may not be able to avoid, but definitely a lot of it could be changed. I have finished college and if you have Crohn's, you can be excused from as many lessons as you want (or at least it's supposed to be like that). Go to someone in your college who can help you, ask around about what to do with class attendance and your current disease state. Or you can ask your professors personally, tell them about the disease in general and that you can bring real doctor's evidence.. If nothing works, you can pause a year of college until you get yourself back on your feet. I did that and it wasn't even for a health reason.
You say "sory if this is your pity party", but don't worry, it really isn't. Don't let other people's wrong attitude about life get you down. People that are not supportive of your illness will some day find themselves in a similar situation and unfortunately, only then will they realize how it feels. Every person that acts badly with you, that is a reflection of their own insecurities, trust me.
I found your post to be very humble. You have the right to feel stressed and lost in this situation you're in, and it's sad that there are no people around you with a positive attitude towards life, and a gentle attitude towards you because you deserve it. Try to get rid of all the "toxic" people in your life.
I feel that my Crohn's came into my life after a long term bad emotional state. Remaining in that state would make it impossible to heal Crohn's. I did everything in my power to turn my life around and surround myself with good people and nature instead of.. (insert anything bad you know in your heart you don't want). It took me a year, year and a half.. With the elimination of as much stress as possible, I also changed my diet, which is also a thing you can't do over night, but it is easier to change one thing at a time. Start with things you know aren't good for you.

p.s. this illness, in so called "western medicine" (meaning the hospitals you're familiar with) is treated as a lifelong disease with possible horrible outcomes. except this medicine that is all over the western world including the God of this society, the sacred Television, is not the only thing in this beautiful world. Unfortunately we who are born in the western society don't know much about anything else. In a few days I'm going for the first time to see an Indian ayurvedic doctor, and I think it will put an end to my pill taking. I will write a post about how it went.

 

[bobbet]

Hello Willow,
Never apologise for the way you feel its a tough struggle with this illness and your doing your best. Your very young and i feel your are courageous-the way you are working and also in college and struggling with this disease, so don't be so hard on your self as that is a lot to try and cope with. You need to inform your tutors about how ill you are and see if there is any advise / extra support you can have. There is also an option of putting college on hold for a year to concentrate on getting yourself well. Or could you do the course part time? Please try and remove the stress from your life as it is just the worst thing for this condition. Don't live for other peoples dreams or expectations of you. Do what is best for yourself even if that is having a year off college for now then so be it. Life is no rush to do this and do that by a certain age..you will get to where you want to be eventually.
We all know what your going through and are here to support you so feel free to pop by anytime. Sending hugs and wishing you well.
Bobbet

 

[lgpcarter]

There should be supports in place for students living with chronic illnesses and disabilities at your school. I was diagnosed while in university and was able to get extra time for assignments and tests, excused from some classes and was able to write exams in a separate room where I would have access to a washroom if I needed it.

I'm sorry you are so stressed. Things will get better!

 

[JennyT]

Hi Willow, whatever name they put to the diagnosis you will still always have the symptoms anyway - its good to know whats goin' on cos then you get treatment! I got through the fear you have and then a life of mitigating symptoms and dealing with crohns each day by telling myself "It is what it is" I have a great life despite crohns - although at times it has been tough but that just makes you stronger, more caring and empathetic. This disease has given me some precious things despite being a pain! HUGS and best of luck. Jenny

 

[December's flower]

Dear Willow,
I understand that you are an ambitious and active person.
Pursuing your dreams, working and studying while having Crohn's proves that you are a really strong and organised woman.
I am also studying at university , so I can see how enormous could the stress of it become.
I think that you should take some time off and prioritize your health.
The most important thing is to take care of yourself.
Health is above anything.
According to my personal experience neither my job , my studies nor my family's expectations really helped to relieve my pain back then. I ignored my symptoms, I kept pushing and pushing myself and I ended up in surgery.
Don't be afraid to take some time for yourself , it will not hurt the people around you and you will definitely benefit from it.
Best wishes

 

[Anna's Bandit]

Willow, sending hugs your way.

Although I am not in college, I experience much anxiety, stress and worry every day, so I can understand a bit about how you are feeling.

Take action, take that first step to getting the help you need.

You deserve a happy and healthy life.

 

[tzvia]

Hi Willow. Have you been seeing a GI Dr regularly and/or taking medications for your Crohns? I’m sorry you are having such a rough time. When your symptoms are at the point where it’s sffecting work and school, it’s important to have a good doctor who can prescribe medication to help you get your life back. You have a long life ahead of you and just need some help to get your symptoms under control. I was in a similar situation before nursing school. For me, I needed surgery, and then I was able to attend school and become a nurse.