I need help with my brother

[ResonantNeuralPlasma]

My older brother was diagnosed with Crohn's about 1.5 years ago while in a 1/2 way house (alcohol recovery/rehabilitation household). He got really sick and had to go to the hospital for 6 units of blood. Since then, he has moved back in with the parents and is sober. He tried to go to school (community college) but failed out (this is the second time). Now he is depressed, doesn't leave the house, won't wake up 2 in the afternoon, doesn't participate in his daughter's life, eats McDonalds and other food that seem to make things worse, ect.

I try to invite him to do outside activities but he always says no. My time to put energy into helping him is limited. I'm in college, have a son, tutor/teach chemistry and work. My father is an alcoholic also and demands that he be in charge of my brother's "program.". He considers drinking a cocktail and talking to him without any research beneficial. It appears to be a small, closed loop conversation. It feels like I'm working with 2 sick people who don't want to get better and it's disintegrating our family. As a father, I cannot be a bystander to this. I welcome any knowledge/guidance you may have on making this a better experience for the family.

Sorry if I'm out of line on any of the forum rules.

 

[SarahBear]

I'm sorry to hear about your bother's situation. That must be hard on you.

It doesn't seem like Crohn's is the cause of his problems, especially if he had these problems before. Did he have symptoms before the alcohol problems started?

Did he fail out of school because he was sick (couldn't attend classes, focus, etc.) or because he didn't apply himself? It can be really hard to do well in school when Crohn's is making itself known.

Is he taking any medications / seeing a doctor?

Would it help him to join this forum? You might try suggesting it to him. Sometimes it's easier to stay positive when you can talk to and be encouraged by someone in the same situation.

 

[ResonantNeuralPlasma]

Thanks Sarah. He's been to the doctor and and been diagnosed with Crohn's. I know he was Rx'ed some steroids at one point. I'm not sure why he stopped attending classes but I can see where you are coming from and it was a suspicion of mine as well. He's smart as hell but is really good at being dumb, if that makes any sense.

I have mentioned this site to him and the old man several months ago. They haven't given me any feedback indicating usage of it.

Anyway I was hoping to get some more bites regarding how to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. My brother and I have a good relationship. Where on this site should I look to find ways of enticing him to join or at least look at it?

 

[SarahBear]

He's smart as hell but is really good at being dumb, if that makes any sense.

Makes perfect sense to me! My brother is the same way - super smart, but never cared about anything enough to show it. Some people like that have a difficult time with school just for that reason - the stuff they try to teach you seems useless if you already understand the concepts or can learn it on your own.

In your situation I'd probably try to find out what medicine he is taking for Crohn's (if any), and tell him, "Oh I read this and this about that, someone had this experience with that medicine, it's on this website, here, let me show you!" Or something along those lines. If it works, excellent.

Sorry I don't have much more to say that could help. I think I've seen people posting about similar problems before, though.

 

[ResonantNeuralPlasma]

Plenty helpful. I'll go dig around and see what I can find.