My BF's Bachlorette Party next w/end

[CDStinks]

I need some support all - Ive only been dx'd with the diseased officially for about 2 months but got sick for the first time about 7 months ago

Obviously that is not long at all.
My Best Friends Bachlorette Party is next weekend & honestly Im scared. I am her MOH and want to make sure everything is perfect & we have a great time. A lot of that will be determined on whether i feel well or not.
We rented a house in a beach town for the weekend & under any other circumstances i would be so excited to go & looking forward to this.....but it seems like this disease is taking over my life & my thought processes a bit.
I am afraid to drink, I am afraid to be sick & not feel well (which is the case most days)
I just dont want to be debbie downer on her big weekend!!

Its hard to adjust to this new life & new me who is afraid to socialize & go out for dinner or drinks without having to worry the whole time about what its going to feel like later!

any advice or words of support would be greatly appreciated !

 

[Isla]

Ya I know what you mean, but if you let the disease ruin a potentially cool weekend then you have let it win. If you have to run to the bathroom a lot or sit down a lot I am sure everyone would understand. If they can't they are not your friend. But I have a feeling you would be much harder on yourself then anyone else there.

 

[My Butt Hurts]

You don't HAVE to drink, especially if it will make your belly feel bad. You could order a virgin strawbery daquiri or something like that - very festive! A Shirley Temple (kids drink that looks like a cocktail) would be funny to order, and it might make light of you not drinking. Or you could fake drink. My friend fake drank when she just found out she was pregnant but didn't want to tell anyone yet.
Just eat carefully, and maybe you'll be okay. You could even bring some of your own snacks with you that you know don't bother you.
Have fun!

 

[Guest]

hmm difficult call - i know i've backed out of arrangements through fear of being 'the poorly one' and drawing attention from the person throwing the party to myself.

unless you really feel too ill to go, i'd suggest taking real good care in the days between now & then to eat only very safe foods, ones which you know aren't going to cause any problems, and go on the weekend. while you're there, do the same - stick with safe stuff, avoid alcohol, & don't be scared to go for a rest if you need one. maybe have a Plan B in place, ie arrange for someone to pick you up & take you home if you need to call them at any time? and.. if your closest friends there don't already know how you're fixed healthwise right now, i'd tell them beforehand.

 

[CDStinks]

Thanks Guys - i know you are right...
My plan as of now is to pass on the drinking completely Friday so that i wont feel rotten all day sat.
And try to have a couple sat night, see how it goes, if im doing ok i will prob just go for it & deal with the pain sun, since i will be going home that day anyway!!
I know my friends will understand but like i said this is still new, so i havent really told the whole world yet & those i have told I have kind of down played it as no big thing

I feel like i psych myself out everytime we have plans bc i am so scared of not feeling well, or making a stinky fart or something that i dont enjoy myself as much as i should ya know?
I am totally going to have a virgin pina colada on the beach though!!! - with a little paper umbrella in it too!!

 

[CDStinks]

Thanks DingBat - not going is not even close to an option - I dont think my friend would ever forgive me & i would feel terrible if i did that anyway
I am her MOH so while she is the center of attention i am the organizer/planner of the fun weekend - i think the key will be to put on a brave face & take cat naps while the rest of the girls are hanging on the beach all day

i know ill figure it out, i guess im just still missing my care free pre-CD life!!

 

[butt-eze]

I think you're smart to pass on the drinking on Friday but encourage you to avoid it all weekend. You never know what is going to trigger some nasty times. I do hope your girlfriends don't make you feel obligated to drink. It doesn't mean you have to explain your disease. You could tell a white lie and say you're on a medication that the doctor forbid you from drinking with. You can kinda curse the doctor, "Great timing!" Or just say you're stomach is upset but not relate it to your Crohn's. Either way risking not feeling well on Sunday can make the car ride home miserable if you do response poorly.

 

[ErinDF]

CDStinks,

Almost this same exact thing happened to me this summer. I was my best friends MOH in a wedding in California...I was supposed to leave on a Wednesday, but had to go to the ER on Monday. Somehow I managed to convince the doc to release me Tuesday so I could still catch the flight. Probably the hardest part was the bachelorette party because I was supposed to help run it and was just so tired and miserable (for almost everything else, I just had to be there and smile). My advice is (a) be honest with other attendees who you know and recruit some help and (b) don't worry about it tooo much, your friend will just be glad you're there. Just remember to smile alot, even if you feel icky.

Hope this helps (not that its exactly a silver bullet) and hope you feel better!

 

[teeny5]

I had to host a baby shower for a friend and I just smiled and sipped water most of the afternoon. I really couldn't eat...didn't feel like it. The heat was totally getting to me and making me almost feel sick. I just would sit down when I needed a break and chatted with people while I sat so it was still social. (luckily there were a few pregnant women there besides my friend and they all had to sit too!) This was before I was diagnosed so no one knew what was going on...they just all knew I was REALLY thin for some reason. No one said anything though.

Don't worry about it though...stress makes it worse! I just came home after and crashed on the couch. I was pooped from faking feeling good all day. I am glad I went. If all else fails try to divert people's attention by asking about themselves. Most people like to talk about themself.

 

[CDStinks]

Thanks for all the words of support!!

I leave tomorrow morning...wish me luck!!

Ill let u know how it goes!

 

[Isla]

Good luck and have fun!