My co-workers told me to fet a different job today.

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heidibz

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Apr 15, 2013
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Hi, I have never done this before but i am bawling at this point . please help me!!! I was told by at leaset 3 employess today that we are a team and when i call in sick it put's them out, "it's sure covienent that when i call in it's always over along stretch and I should find another job". I work a point 8 so I am assuming they mean next to my days off or a weekend. God! How I wish i could plan my flare-ups. I at max call in 3x/a month and sometime only once. and yes I do have a FMLA. I have had crohns for many years always held a job. I Love my job, I felt at 52 I would stay here till I retire. Had surgry years ago. Took this job as a day surgery nurse 5 years ago, Yes I work with nurses and yes they do not understand. I have to say in the begining of my five years I was reallllly sick and off alot. But when I was so sick I found out I was allergic to Gluteon and since then last 4 years I have been gluteon free and have been much better. Maybe I am to happy go lucky and people think I am not sick I truely do not know. So, telling people I'm not sure is good? I feel my Director nor my Charge Nurse do nothing to support me in fact, I have ased my Charge nurse to not schedule me to open on the day after whenI've been ill, because it just starts everybodies day out bad if I have to call in. And after 5 years she still doe's it. My patient's Love me, I do know that. They say to me at least 2 times per week "You really love your job, don't you, it shows" No body can take that from me, I know I am an exceptional worker and would be honored to have me as an employee. I am a work hard, play hard kinda gal, my daddy taught me that. Oh enough rambling, Please tell me if i a nuts for feeing so horribly and almost feeling bullied? tx for listening Heidi
 
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You arent in the wrong at all .. If you love your job and work as hard as you can when your therethen what right do they have to tell you that you cant do it.. Id love to have a nurse like you looking after me when im sick.. Stick to your guns and keep badgering the charge nurse if you have to , i hope to train as a nurse when i recover a little and hope i have colleagues like you and not the people you work with, and dont feel like your in the wrong for feeling bullied .. As nurses they should be far more understanding
 
It is shocking that your co-workers would say that to you at all, but factor in that they are nurses who should have an idea of what you are going through and it is unbelievable.
Are there other staff members who are more understanding that you could talk to, to get a bit of moral support?
I wish I could offer some solid advise but unfortunately (or fortunately for me) I work in a very small business so I don't know how these things work - but is their someone official you can talk to about it all , other than the unhelpful Charge nurse?

On the flip side you have come to the right place for understanding people and advise, their are some great folk on here and please don't let the bully's force you out of a job you love.
Good luck.
 
wow, thanks for your fast replies, i do have some people that support me, unfortionately they are in dfferent departments. through my continued tears i have the phrase rolling in my head that one co-worker said " we are a team here and when you call in sick you let us down, you should look for a new job" I guess TEAM only comes true when it benefits them? This job is a piece of cake compared to all other jobs we all have worked at in our years, with a full team or without. I just sit in awe!! I do not know if I should quit or use my self determinatioto fight this horrible down hill battle that will probably just trow me into a flare-up, but I need my health insurane and I love my job!! I'm so confused.. txs all
 
Is there any way you could maybe transfer departments? .. precisely, if they really meant you were all a team then that would include them looking out for you too.. try not to let them get to you, i know its really tough, but you can let off steam to us here as much as you need, they arent worth your health or you loosing a job you love
 
unfortionately not now, but I thank you so much for your support. Yes I too thought a team was more than one sided.
 
are you serious?? You would think nurses would be very understanding as I am sure they see Crohn's patients all the time.

check out the wiki here for advice or go to CCFA.org as they have tons of stuff ranging from workers rights on the job to coping skills.

I LOVE RNS. Thank you for all you do!!! you rule!!! They do a better job than the doctors who come in to see their patients for less than 5 minutes and charge you over $100 to say stick out your tongue or poke you where you had surgery to ask does this hurt?? yeah buddy, come here. Can I poke out your eye and you can tell me if it hurts. dumb@ZZ.

I've met a few RNs who have IBD when they took care of me in the hospital. They were the nicest and very supportive whenever I got bad news.

I agree with the one poster, can you transfer to another floor or unit?? maybe a GI unit?? I bet they'd understand. or even an endoscopy outpatient unit? I have seen some of the BEST RNS there. They know their stuff and can relate to IBD patients.

HUGS TO YOU!!! RNS RULE!! MDS DROOL!!! :)
 
I am working at an outpatient surgical center over half of outpatient's are GI patient's, pretty amazing. We do colonoscopy's and EGD's every day almost. And my co-workers still do not understand. What's really strang is more than 3/4 of the nurses working with me have all been around the block an have worked and been over worked for years in other places, this job is like gravy compared to any other we have all seen, so, for them to say we had to work so hard when you weren't there is like a walk in the park compared to where we all came from.
 
Hi heidibz welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry you're going through such a miserable time at work, it never ceases to amaze me the cruelty of people, especially those that should know better, my sister had a similar experience as you when she was a young nurse, she has diabetes and would get a hard time if she took a break coz of a hypo. I often wonder if people like your colleagues have ever really experienced true pain and if so would they be more understanding?

Is there a team leader or HR person you could talk to about the problem or request an appointment with occupational health?

Take care.
 
I feel awful for you. I have been very sick for the past 20 months now and am waiting for my MRI in two days to decide if I will be having my third surgery or not. I have only missed 9 shifts in six years as I force myself to go in to work on no sleep and severe pain everyday so I don't hear the comments like this one and believe me I have heard it all. My boss calls in sick all the time and once again she called in today saying she was in the bathroom all night and it must of been something she ate. I wanted to say join the club you don't see me missing and I have this all the time. I was more angry when she said wow I know what you mean about the pain from going so much. I thought wow one night of issues and you think you know how I feel and the pain I have is not just from going so much but I have a blockage in my small intestine crohns in my stomach and just two months ago my large bowel was so closed they couldn't fit the camera through it. If they could only live a year in our shoes and see what we deal with. Try and be strong we will all be here to support you. Not sure what I am in for was upset when the nurse told me he couldn't fit the camera through my large bowel I have never had any large bowel issues before but I have been very sick for a while now. Anyone have any ideas on this let me know your thoughts.
 
Wow Heidi. I'm sorry for you having to deal with that. It is hard enough dealing with Crohn's disease in your personal life let alone keeping a work life as well. I am so thankful for my company as they were so understanding while I went through test after test trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Maybe because they seen me at my worst. There were times where I went into work puking sick feeling terrible for missing so much work. I did put a lot of extra time in evenings and weekends to keep up with my job and thankfully have a position where I can work from home at times. Hang in there. You have people who understand where you are coming from ... just not at your workplace. Disappointing that you couldn't get some understanding from the profession that should understand your situation the most.
 
That's awful! I know what it's like to be bullied like that at work and wonder if people think you're faking it (whenever I'm around people, I try to make them laugh). Sometimes just because an illness doesn't show on the outside, people become skeptical. For whatever it's worth, you have a lot of people here that knows what you're going through, are here to offer support, and that you can vent to any time.
 
Sounds like your colleages need a reality check.
How can they work with GI patients and still threat you so cruelly..
Sometimes i wish crohns was selective and you could give it to a insensitive person just so they can feel how it is and then take it back and be like...thats how i feel for the rest of my life...now shut up...

I hope you can have a bit more support from your supperiors and i would defenitly look into perhaps filling in a complaint about them because this not normal or how you threat a colleage ...especialy not in a team...

Xx
 
valleysangel92 said:
You arent in the wrong at all .. If you love your job and work as hard as you can when your therethen what right do they have to tell you that you cant do it.. Id love to have a nurse like you looking after me when im sick.. Stick to your guns and keep badgering the charge nurse if you have to , i hope to train as a nurse when i recover a little and hope i have colleagues like you and not the people you work with, and dont feel like your in the wrong for feeling bullied .. As nurses they should be far more understanding
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Totally agree... How dare they! I say you steal their lunch from the staff refridge :] But if it has gluten or lactose... let it be. lol I am sorry if I am making jokes. I just want to cheer you up. Hang in there. All of this is not your fault. You can't help getting sick. You can't help that you call days off to get better. If they can't understand... forget them. You shouldn't feel down because of them. Maybe you need to reeducate them on what Crohn's is again.
 
Hi, thats a horrible thing to have said to you. I would take it further if I was you.
You do not say where you live. Employee laws will be different in different countries, but here should be something about bullying and discrimination.

I would make a diary writing down anything that has been said or done which does not help your disease. Have a word with your boss and/or HR stating what has been said and that you are not happy with it, if your boss does not do anything then go to the next level. You should have a grievance policy at your work, have a read of that. All meetings
and correspondence will need to be recorded with the outcome n case needed later on.

This should help people understand that they cannot treat you like the way they have, and should get people to listen to your concerns with your work/life/disease balance.
 
Wow, I can not thank you all so much, You are great!! It is so nice to hear words of support verses condeming. After long thoughts over the night and having a scheduled day off today. I think I am going to write a letter to HR, my manager and Director, requesting assistance on dealing with this, I still do not know how I will put it in words, but I feel if I leave it will only happen to someone else another time. Although it would be easier on me. I just hope I have the strength to do this without making a flare-up come about. My loss of words are from being so shocked at this whole thing, I truely am dumb founded at how people can be so cruel. I am also goingto call the EEO and ask for direction. Thaks again to all of you.. Still so sad and teary eyed. Heidibz
 
Hopefullx3 said:
I feel awful for you. I have been very sick for the past 20 months now and am waiting for my MRI in two days to decide if I will be having my third surgery or not. I have only missed 9 shifts in six years as I force myself to go in to work on no sleep and severe pain everyday so I don't hear the comments like this one and believe me I have heard it all. My boss calls in sick all the time and once again she called in today saying she was in the bathroom all night and it must of been something she ate. I wanted to say join the club you don't see me missing and I have this all the time. I was more angry when she said wow I know what you mean about the pain from going so much. I thought wow one night of issues and you think you know how I feel and the pain I have is not just from going so much but I have a blockage in my small intestine crohns in my stomach and just two months ago my large bowel was so closed they couldn't fit the camera through it. If they could only live a year in our shoes and see what we deal with. Try and be strong we will all be here to support you. Not sure what I am in for was upset when the nurse told me he couldn't fit the camera through my large bowel I have never had any large bowel issues before but I have been very sick for a while now. Anyone have any ideas on this let me know your thoughts.
Click to expand...

I am so sorry I remember wen they told me the camera would not fit on my small bowel and needed surgery. I do want to tell you that I took it upon myself to be genetic tested fr a gluten allergy through a company in Florida, it was $400, I sent a frozen stool sample and a mouth swab. I was totally allergic to gluten and afterjust one week of stoping I was dancing around the house and my hubby singing Heidi is back, and have not touched glutn since it has been a huge help. But, let me tell you, you canot stop gluten before you take the test and you do not have to have celiacs to be allergic to gluten. I can't remember the name of the company, but if try googling gluten genetic testing florida, wi. it should come up. they also have alot of info thereon how gluten cancause many GI problems.. Good luc I will keep you in my prayers. and thank you for your support in such a rough tie of yours. Heidibz
 
Hey Heidibiz........ I think you are doing the right thing and are very generous in thinking about others in the future, I think that given what your working environment is the management team would not want one of their own staff to be suffering unnecessarily, it's just not right how your colleagues have been treating you. I agree with rygon about writing things down, it's a good idea both for your memory's sake and you can then discuss with your superiors in more detail, it does help.
How has your tummy been through all of this? I will be thinking about you take care and lots of hugs to you.:ghug:

Hopefullx.........., how are you doing? My dad would make comments like your boss about 'knowing how you feel', he thinks because he gets constipated he knows what crohns is like. My sister and I have lived with diabetes for 16 years and he still doesn't understand what it is, he just reckons he has it too, which he doesn't. I don't think people like that would last a day in our shoes! Hang in there, good luck for the mri results.
 
thanx so much, i did speak with a mediator from the ada yesterday and she gave me alot of support, told me to request in writng accomidations for my disability. She told me no FMLA will help you secure your job unless you state that under the ada you have crohns and it is a disability. will they listen. so I googled sample accomidations letter put one together and sent it to both my supervisor and charge nurse requesting their help in accomidating my disability, I also requested to have an HR rep there.. they replied to set up a meeting without HR so now I am going to call HR myself and ask for someone because I have met with the two of them before and have gotten no where, they just put the work back on me. and I believe they need to show their support too. I said prayers before i went into work this morning it took all I had to walk back in that door. But I refuse to join their pitty party. I went enjoyed my patients and families and just did a good job and thats what I am going to contine to do. Thanks again to all who have been here for me, I am so glad I foung this suppot site. Cudo's to us sickies :ylol:
 
I would always make sure HR are involved as they understand these situations.
Great you didnt give in to these bullies :)

It is important that the management know of your condition, I had a colleague who had crohns and as he kept it to himself (taking holidays instead of sickdays) when he tried to get early retirement due to ill health he wasnt allowed it due to no record of him having time off.

This is why i stress that any time off, problems encountered with work situations, or people, are recorded so you have evidence.

I am so glad that you have managed to help yourself, and im sure others, with your actions :)
 
Well done Heidibz, sounds like it's all coming together, sending you lots of hugs and best wishes, keep us posted with how you get on.
 
I am still very sick and having other issues as well. I went for my MRI and had my followup appointment 3 days ago. He wants me to have surgery to remove another part of the small bowel that is closing in again, then we are going to start Remicade to help with the rest. He wanted it done in 4 weeks but the other issues I am having is my wisdom teeth that I have been suffering bad with for 10 years but couldn't afford to have them done. One has now broken in half and I have no choice to get them done so in 2 weeks I am having them removed in the hospital and seeing as I have crohn's it is going to be fully covered for me. And then two to three weeks after that I am having my resection surgery. This will be number three surgery in the last 16 years.
Thanks so much for asking and I hope you are doing okay.
I will keep everyone posted on things and keep an eye out for you.
 
I have noticed more recently that it's some healthcare individuals that lack compassion and it's very disturbing. When you have health problems your not asking for special treatment but just a little understanding. I think to often people take things for granted and done realize the harm they cause in their words and actions. If anything I commend you for working with a severe health problem trying to take care of patients that may not be as sick as you are. Hold your head up high and do not let them gett to you. Stand your ground and be proud your one of the few nurses that still has compassion and loves your job. That's my two cents worth!!!
 
Oh Heidi!
I am feeling so bad for you, and I TOTALLY understand! Been a nurse a long time myself. I always said that in this profession, nurses eat their young. It's not just the new nurses, some are just mean, and I wonder why they ever went into it in the first place.

I had to stop taking care of patients about 12 years ago because of Crohns. It was a horrible time in my life. The immunosuppresives made me catch everything. I worked OR and ER for most of my career. When I was the sickest, I had colleagues that were awesome, but I too ran into the kind you've written about. I have a wonderful new job that gives me more flexibility with bad days. It was that closing the door and opening a window thing.
I'm sorry, I'm going on and on, it's just because I've been exactly there and REALLY understand your pain.
You hang in there since you love it so much!
 
As a respiratory therapist I have worked with many nurses. Some of them are the most compassionate, kind, and sympathetic people I've ever known - and some of them are the most selfish and self-centered. Unfortunately nurses are just people, and can be thoughtless and cruel. They remember to put the patients first but when it comes to coworkers, they suddenly only think of how a situation will affect them. I'm sorry to hear that this kind of behavior is going on. I'm fortunate to work with a group of people that is incredibly supportive and understanding, and this certainly has helped me to continue working. Currently I'm the supervisor, which is mainly office work, and has made it easier to continue to work full time. I'm sure it would be much more difficult working clinical to do so. Best of luck and I hope things get better!
 

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