Our Friend Jerman

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some of you may know a little of what's been happening in Jerman's life lately... and he has asked me to post on his behalf today, to let you all know that he is in hospital, getting the right treatment he needs just now, and that he's safe.


if anyone would like to post any comments or good wishes to Jer in here, please do so, and i will make sure he knows about this thread... although i don't know when he will next get chance to log in.

i, for one, just want to say on record that i am immensely proud to be his friend, and proud of the way he has stood tall over recent days and accepted a lot of things, help included.

Jerman - you will be ok, buddy... take your time, keep fightin' the good fight, and remember your friends here will ALWAYS be here for you. ((hugs))
 
Dear Jerry

I stand proud of you today too!
When the time is right, we'll be right here for you, I'll be here
take care my friend and rest well, sending big hug your way!
love as always
Joan xxx
 
Jerry - I am so glad to hear that you are safe. I have been sending you many positive thoughts and wishing you all the best.
 
Jerman, you've always been kind to me in the past and I'm so happy to hear you're getting the treatment you need. I hope for only good things for you from now on. Come back to the forum when you are able, but please take care of yourself for now. We are all thinking of you.
 
Jer, you are my Brother. I hope and Pray everyday for you to be alright. If I could I'd be by your side through this and be a shoulder for you to lean on. Get well, my brother from another mother. I'll be here waiting for your return. Lov ya Bro.
 
I hope you are feeling better soon Jerman. I'm sorry for everything you are going through and I am glad you are getting help.
 
Hey Jerman,

It's such a relief to hear that you are in a safe place and being looked after. I hope the treatment you receive leads back on the road to recovery. Sending tons of healing (((HUGS))) and (((THOUGHTS))) to you............................


:hug::ghug::hug::ghug::hug::ghug::hug::ghug::hug:


:getwell::getwell::getwell:


Thinking of you, :)
Dusty
 
Hey Jer, hang in there, this too shall pass. If you ever have anyone to think of is your children, whom we know you adore, and they need their dad and we need you too! I know everything is overwhelming right now but the pieces will fit to the puzzle. Big hugs, and sending you strength!!!
 
Hang in there Jerman! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that treatment goes well without a hitch!
 
Jerman, you are an amazing person who has helped me get through some of my toughest times with miss madasin...with your outlook and good humor. keep your head up the best you can and keep fighting this. Our thoughts and prayers are deffinatly with you. I wish you the best. madasin sends hugs.
 
I don't know you well Jerman, but I'm sending my thoughts your way for a speedy recovery...come back to us soon :)
 
((((hugs))))) from me, too! Jerman, I'm so glad to hear you're getting treatment - I'm praying that it kicks in quickly and brings you relief so that you can rest up and
:getwell:
 
DustyKat said:
Hey Jerman,

It's such a relief to hear that you are in a safe place and being looked after. I hope the treatment you receive leads back on the road to recovery. Sending tons of healing (((HUGS))) and (((THOUGHTS))) to you............................


:hug::ghug::hug::ghug::hug::ghug::hug::ghug::hug:


:getwell::getwell::getwell:


Thinking of you, :)
Dusty
Click to expand...

Thank you, Dusty, for putting my thoughts in to words... "SAFE" being a big one....

You WILL make it through this, Jerry... you have to, you ARE a phoenix....

hugs...
 
jerry. i too have had to treatment from the hospital, from the same thing as you have. life has been seriously bad, but hopefully i have turned a corner and with the right help and listening ear you can turn that corner too.
hold my hand jerry, we can do this together.
 
Sending good thoughts your way, Jerman, and best wishes for speedy recovery. We hope to see you back on the boards real soon!

- Amy
 
Oh Jerry keep that head high and keep that fight going. You are an amazing person and you have given me lots of laughs. Get better and some rest, I am so glad that you are safe. I have been wondering where you have been lately. Please take care of yourself and when you are ready we will be here waiting to hear from you..
Your sense of humor is awesome and you are a very strong person.

take care you are in my thoughts and prayers daily........
lots of love and hugs to you
 
I've been wondering where you've been lately! Sorry to hear you're still not feeling well, but glad to know you're in the hospital getting proper care. :) You are one of many on the boards I continually pray for. I hope you return to us feeling so much better! Get well soon, buddy!
 
I sent a PM to you Ger, but I will put a more direct/concise well-wish here:

You need to topple this like you've toppled everything else. That captain comeback title was under your username for a reason, and you had a phoenix (rising) in your avatar for a reason. We are all posting here, as well, for a reason. You're too good and too strong to be beaten down by this crap, so give it a haymaker and knock it on the mat!

rocky_balboa_1.jpg
 
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i don't think Jerman has internet access right now, so any pms or posts here probably won't get answered until he's back online...

i did hear from him a few days ago that he's out of the hospital... haven't heard much since... i will keep this thread updated if i hear anything else.

Jerman - if you do get chance to read this thread - ((big hugs)) buddy - we're looking forward to seeing you back here whenever you're ready :)
 
I love you guys!

I am baaaaaack but still not very strong (Yet). I am overwhelmed, grateful and feel very happy to be a part of this family. Each of your messages touched me so deeply that I am sitting in a cubicle at the library tying not to cry. I will come on as much as able but have many more challenges to face and am living with a friend & his family for now and he has me on a tight leash (in a good way). My stepson agressed on me once again and got his wishes I was kicked out of my home and my wife who has also been my best friend for 9 years wants a divorce. This of course also changes things in terms of visitation with my boys and I do not have my princess in my life each day which has absolutely shattered my heart.

I am very dedicated to my outpatient treatment/counsleing and feel very fragile. But I will somehow find the strength and help to get better, and work hard on finding my smile. I got to c my princess for a few hours yesterday and it was good but bittersweet as it actually physically hurt to see her go back to her mom's home. I am not allowed in my parents home as my "dad" believes that I stress my mum (she is Ill as well) out and would not even allow me to stay for more than a half our. My friends home is small and the family has two kids and his wife & elderly mother. I am sleeping on a recliner at nite and there is simply no place for my boys to sleep. I will have to try to do dayvisits with the boys until i find work and a place to house all three.

I also am working hard on not being an imposition as the parents are struggling with their own relationship, and I hope to be an asset not an asshead :ybiggrin:

So I am rather compulsively doing dishes and yardwork, just anything I can help with. Besides his family, you are all of the family i have left.

This is all I can handle writing for now as I am flaring & getting very anxious at the moment. Thank you all for your kindness and loyalty you are truly a special group of peeps.

Somehow through this hell I will fight my best fight to rise from the ashes again. Will work towards being strong and proud again. I will also respond to each of your posts individually but just can't handle it right at the moment.
Thanks for helping me to stand and hold my head just a lil higher today.
 
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:hang: WE know you can do this and gather the strength you need so your kids will be proud and happy to see you! Takes time, and all wound heal. Hold your head up high and go forward, because nothing in the past can be changed. ((hugs))
 
jerry, you helped when i desperatly needed it. if you need anything and i mean ANYTHING you know where i am. just shout and i will hear you.
 
Jerman - I'm sorry to hear the latest turn of events regarding your family. I really hope, in the least, you can see your children on a regular basis. I do not know what it feels like to be in your position, but can imagine it must be confusing and overwhelming. I'm just glad you are in a safe place where you are being looked after and given opportunity to help out around the house.

Still praying for you! Sending all the strength and positivity your way. I know you will get through this :)
 
Jerman, I really don't know what to say, other than just hang in there. During the last couple of months at my worst times, you posted some words of encourgement that really helped me. I am not quite so poetically versed, but want you to know that my prayers and thoughts are with you. It's hard enough battling this crazy disease without having all the extra drama that life throws at us. I wish there were something I could do. Hang in there and just remember, everything happens for a reason and you will come through this even better when you get to the other side.
:getwell:
 
Jer - you are one amazing guy - and despite you probably feeling very little and bewildered in this big world of chaos and upset right now, you're bigger and stronger than a lot of people i know - and i totally look up to you. i know you will get there buddy, you have three wonderful little reasons to do so, and also your family here needs you.

take your time, be kind to yourself, and come in when you feel like it - we'll always be here for you.
 
I am so sorry to hear about everything that you are having to deal with at the moment Jerman. As if being ill isn't enough!!!
I am sure that you will find a way to solve the many issues you are having to deal with now and I wish you the very best for the future.
Take care of yourself. You need to keep strong

Sam
 
Hey, Jerman, I just caught up on this thread... I didn't realize how rough it has been for you lately. I hope things turn around for you soon. Sounds like you are on the right track... it's just going to take some time. We are all here if you need us. All my best to you.
 
Hiya Jerman, thinking about you love and wishing you all the very best.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Dear Jerry

I am so happy to hear from you at last, been very worried, couldn't make contact with the AIM!
I am also very proud of you, and always remember, that you will always be their father, forever! No-one will ever take that away from you, never!
I don't know what to say about the broken relationship, it's sad, yes, but I've been through it, and it takes a long time to heal. and this is what you have to do, take your time, and time is a great healer.
take care my pal, and I'm always here
xxxx
 
hi Jer
You can do this we all have faith in you. Hold your head high and stand proud, you are a very strong person and have been there for all of us at our time of need and support. I am here for you as everyone else is too. update us when you can.. take care
you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know you are trying hard to make a smile.. i also know you are the best at smiling and making others smile as well.
 
Hang in there Jerry.

It really has been tough for you, and I don't know how you cope with it all, but I admire your strength in the face of adversity.

Take it one day at a time, and one minute at a time if you have to. That is the only way to get through tough times.

Dan
 
I'm with ya in spirit Bro. Been down a hard road myself and it will come together because you are strong.
Like everyone has said. You are a strong person and we will be here to help you every step of the way.
 
Thank You

I walked into the library today feeling very sad anxious & alone. Hands shaking voice quivering (maybe not a good move right after counseling huh?). My thought process with the added anxiety feels like the tv snipet when they pick winning numbers out of the lottery ball machine. except the the ball is the inside of my head, thoughts racing (big head to begin with :) ) and then I sat down and read your posts.

I am just in awe of all of you! The kindness & sincerity (sp) that i have just read is absolutely mind blowing. Thanks to you I feel a little less like Atlas and a bit more like Jer. Even if it lasts for five minutes you have given me a gift of some strength and hope that i may never be able to describe or match. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I may never leave this forum as I will learn again to stand strong and proud and work to repay the love and loyalty you have shown me. :worthy::worthy::worthy:
 
Jer, you are awesome my friend! I'm praying for you and you will get through this. I know you will. You are strong!
 
Yeah Jerry!
you're gonna do this, and we'll be right here holding you up!
Keep reading your siggy, it speaks volumes!
stay strong phoenix!
xxxxxxx
 
Hi Jerman,
Just wanted to send some love and hugs your way! In the road of life we all have speedbumps which we must get over.. however, when we overcome our obstacles we build on to our already wonderful character, and sometimes see what was once blind. Life doesn't always make sense. But what does make sense is the people that are placed into our lives, for a lifetime, or even a season. God is a good God, please keep your faith and know you're thought of today. :) ((BIG HUGS))
As everyone else has said.. You are strong, and valued! Hope u will consider me a friend as well! :)
 
Jerman said:
I may never leave this forum as I will learn again to stand strong and proud and work to repay the love and loyalty you have shown me. :worthy::worthy::worthy:
Click to expand...

you don't have permission to leave this forum, for any reason, young man :D time off - fine. leaving - no way mate. sorry, but you're just too important a part of this family... i guess you're stuck with us ;) xxx
 
It was good to hear from you Jerman...sorry to hear about all your family troubles though. As others have said, you'll get through this and be stronger in the end for yourself and your kids. "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger". Take care of you!
 
:hang: Jer, you can do this, we know you can! It is amazing how strong we become when we face ourselves, picking ourselves up and keep on trying!! Big hugs to ya!!!
 
Hey Jerman - sooooo very glad to hear that you're hanging in there!!!!! I'm praying for you. (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
 
Hi Jerman. I would hope you would never leave us, it would be a missing link to the family.... We would miss all those comments that make us chuckle when we need a pick me up. It will take time for you to get all things straight in your head, But I know you can do this. If anyone can it would be you!!! take care and keep on getting better.

You are in my thoughts and prayers
 
Jerman said:
I may never leave this forum as I will learn again to stand strong and proud and work to repay the love and loyalty you have shown me. :worthy::worthy::worthy:
Click to expand...

as ding says, leaving is not allowed.

keep your chin up, but keep the noise down as your in a library!!! you dont want to get thrown outta of there do you.
 
Hey Jer,
Just wanted to say that I am a 27 year old woman and to this day I believe that the only reason that I turned out as good as I did (if I do say so myself) is because of the love and guidance of my father. My mother took us away from him and moved us across the country when I was 7. She did her best to poison us against him and keep us apart, but we stayed close in spite of her. We lived a world apart and only got to see him in the summers, but I lived for those summers. My daddy called me every Sunday of my whole childhood. He saw me whenever he could and it was clear that he loved the time we had together as much as I did. I never doubted that he loved me and that he was proud of me even when I wasn’t able to love or be proud of myself.

I won’t give too much detail so as to not make anyone uncomfortable but my mother who was my primary care giver abused me and let others abuse me. My childhood was far from ideal. I think that a lot of people who went through what I went through would have given up, and from time to time I thought about it. What honestly made me want to keep going and make myself into the best person I could be truly was the knowledge that my dad was out there loving me. Knowing that made me want to keep going and try to make him proud. Every good thing that I have, I have in part because of my dad’s love and support.

I don’t know what your situation with your children is exactly, but know that having you in their lives will affect the people that they become greatly. Even if you do not see them every day, knowing that you are out there caring about them is the most important gift you can give them.

I hope you are well tonight. Sometimes when things are hard for too long we forget that good things will happen to us again. It may take longer than you think you can stand, but things will get better if you just keep trying.
 
Hope?

I have a job interview tomm. working with kids with special needs. I am worried a bit about pain level/stamina but feel that this opportunity may help to keep the depression and anxiety dragons at bay, or maybe fade away. Please say a prayer, speak to the universe or cross whatever body parts you can without discomfort. :ycool:

I am truly hoping this is the beginning of at least some new and better times. I am working very hard at getting better new meds, counseling, and seem to have found my sense of hope with getting this interview. (((((((Big ole jerman hugs to you all))))))))) Thank you my friends.

BTW, that was beautiful Nichole very well put, thank you.
 
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Good Luck Jer!!
Sending prayers your way!!! Sounds like a great opportunity!
PS, the other day I watched a DVD called Mastering the Art of Observation, by Dr. Dispenza (i think).. he talks about how our thoughts effect our lives, and bodies. When we think a certain way our body produces the chemicals that react to the emotion, etc. So, the more u think one way the more chemical is automatically produced.. The more focused u learn to become on the right things the brain makes new neurotransmitic connections in the frontal lobe. Also changing the way our bodies produce chemicals in reaction to our thoughts.. so in retrospect really mind over matter.. and matter ultimately becoming what we envision ourselves to be.. :ycool: Just wanted to share.. and maybe bring some hope and positive thoughts your way. :D

Sorry for the long post.. lol.. I'm rambling.. not sure if I said it quite right.. but i hope it made sense.. just thought it was kinda neat. :)
 
Good luck Jerman! I really hope that you get this job, but if you don’t, don’t let it get you too down. Remember that a lot of us Crohnies have a really hard time finding and keeping jobs and you wouldn’t judge one of us or think that it defined us so don’t be too hard on yourself either.

Good luck, good luck, good luck, good luck! We are all rooting for you!
 
Go Jer!!!!!!!!! I will break my own rule (think Positive) and look like they need you not you need them!! This could be your niche!!:wink:


:goodluck:
 
Hey Jerman,

This is so wonderful to hear. If this is something that you feel is your place in life, and personally I feel that many jobs can only truly be done by a special type of person, then it may very well go a long way to not only alleviating your depression and anxiety but your pain as well. I believe you are one of those special people Jerman. I wish you all the luck in the world in your quest and I hope and pray that your dreams come true.

:goodluck::goodluck::goodluck:

Thinking about you,
Dusty
 
The very best of luck to you Jerry!
You've worked with these kids before so really sell yourself, be yourself and they will love you!
I don't pray, but I'll speak to Yoda!! lol
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
i have all my body parts crossed for you, Jer - it's a bit uncomfortable so please get to the interview on time, and let us know how it goes as soon as you can, so i can untangle myself :D

you know i wish you all the luck in the world, not just for the interview, but for all the big & small challenges ahead of you - just relax tomorrow, try to enjoy the experience rather than see it as something stressful, and whatever the outcome, just by going for it you will have achieved a lot. baby steps, buddy ;)
 
Jer not only will I wish you good luck, but I'll be with you tomorrow in spirit. I'll be on your right shoulder Bro. I'll be there just for you so go get'em. I believe in you, Bro.
 
Thank you Kelly, girlygirl, beth, Jer's girl, Pen, gyspigirl28, dustykat, Joanie, Suz,Sea of Dreams & Greg. I was a bit of an anxious mess before the appointment yesterday but calmed myself by looking back at times in my life which have been more difficult than this. I do that not to be self depracating (?sp) but to use as more of a pathmark to remind me that I made it through that so I will do so through "this" as well.

I am pretty sure I nailed the interview and am very intrigued by the program and its opportunities. Just to keep the house of cards that is me, for now, standing, i am deluging the area with my resume. Thanks so much for the prayers & crossed body parts :ywow:

It most definately helped as i had a bit of my swagger (as my son calls it) as i walked up to the appointment from the car yesterday. I cleaned up pretty good and felt comfortable with everyone i met. Either way it is a first step and is significantly better than where I was standing just a few weeks ago.

Greg thanks for standing on the shoulder bud I very much appreciate the support, had to giggle a bit though as I had a flash of the old Belushi movie animal house go through my mind. So thanks for the smile as well. :D

Thanks as always to all of you, you are making the comeback more and more possible by your loyalty and belief in me. I am humbled but proud to be a part of this amazing group of people. :redface:
 
Hi Jer, I am so glad to hear that your interview went well. I will pray that you land the job!!!!! I am also happy that you are standing tall and moving forward, keep up the good work. I for one am very proud of you and I know you have the strength to keep moving.

You are in my thoughts and prayers always
 
way to go :)

i really hope you get the job, Jer - i think it would be fab for you - and you'd be fab for it!

you're doing well, buddy, keep trucking. xxx
 
Jerman said:
Thank you Kelly, girlygirl, beth, Jer's girl, Pen, gyspigirl28, dustykat, Joanie, Suz,Sea of Dreams & Greg. I was a bit of an anxious mess before the appointment yesterday but calmed myself by looking back at times in my life which have been more difficult than this. I do that not to be self depracating (?sp) but to use as more of a pathmark to remind me that I made it through that so I will do so through "this" as well.

I am pretty sure I nailed the interview and am very intrigued by the program and its opportunities. Just to keep the house of cards that is me, for now, standing, i am deluging the area with my resume. Thanks so much for the prayers & crossed body parts :ywow:

It most definately helped as i had a bit of my swagger (as my son calls it) as i walked up to the appointment from the car yesterday. I cleaned up pretty good and felt comfortable with everyone i met. Either way it is a first step and is significantly better than where I was standing just a few weeks ago.

Greg thanks for standing on the shoulder bud I very much appreciate the support, had to giggle a bit though as I had a flash of the old Belushi movie animal house go through my mind. So thanks for the smile as well. :D

Thanks as always to all of you, you are making the comeback more and more possible by your loyalty and belief in me. I am humbled but proud to be a part of this amazing group of people. :redface:
Click to expand...

Hey Jer, looks like the clouds are making way for the sunshine back in your life.. baby steps and we are right behind you all the way! :wink:
 
Oh Jerman I am so happy that the interview went well for you. Onward and upward buddy. :mademyday:

Thinking about you, :)
Dusty
 
Kewl! that's half the battle. A good interview, tho, a job does not make.... If you don't get it you've had a practice interview, you can do another.
Cracking!
 
Thank you all, since the first one I have been called by two additional department heads about working in their separate programs, looks like I may actually have some cool choices to make. Amazing what a little hope and getting a bit of my swagger back (along with med tweaks, counseling & my crohnies) has done for me. I've got one today at 11:00 and do not feel nervous at all. Thanks as always for your amazing support. ((((hugs of gratitude from Jerman)))) Finally really starting to feel like ME again. You are just an amazing group of people. will keep you posted.

Jer
 
Thank you, much appreciated. I am not really a big fan of the Grateful Dead but "What a long strange trip it's been." really sums up this little life detour. Hope you are doing well too.

Jer
 
WOW! You have been going through a hell of alot of changes too!
WOW! What a great support system you all have been!

Jerman, I am so happy things turned around for you. This thread has made me smile. I am so glad I have returned!!!
 
AWESOME AWESOME NEWS Jer..... I am so glad to read that you are feeling better and you have another interview today. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! update us on how it went. I am roooooootttttting for you!!!!!!
You have come a long way, I am proud of you! Keep up the great work....

You are in my thoughts and prayers like always

hugs to you
 
Pyoderma Gangrenosum said:
WOW! You have been going through a hell of alot of changes too!
WOW! What a great support system you all have been!

Jerman, I am so happy things turned around for you. This thread has made me smile. I am so glad I have returned!!!
Click to expand...

Yes this family has been a tremendous source of support and I am thankful for them each and every day! Glad to see you guys back as well how have you both been?
 
gypsigirl28 said:
AWESOME AWESOME NEWS Jer..... I am so glad to read that you are feeling better and you have another interview today. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! update us on how it went. I am roooooootttttting for you!!!!!!
You have come a long way, I am proud of you! Keep up the great work....

You are in my thoughts and prayers like always

hugs to you
Click to expand...

Thanks Rosemary please keep the prayers coming all of the positive thoughts, prayers and energy from here has definately helped the sun to start to shine through. I have a lot of catching up to do on here but let me say my thoughts and prayers are with you three as well each day.

Jer
 
Merry, Ding, Pen, beth, GirlyG, Jer's girl- Thanks for all of the support had a fantastic interview today and am going back yet again tomorrow for a 3rd department head int. they are just tryingto fit me in any way they can. will let you all know tomm. many thanks again!
 
AWESOME AWESOME GRRRRRRRRREAT NEWS!!!! Wishing you the best of LUCK tomorrow as well. I sure hope you get the job, You would be great at it......

Thinking of you!!! keeping you in my thoughts and prayers daily..,....
 
:)

good job. you are stronger than you even know.

will send you a message soon, sorry for the lapse in replies
 
I'm sorry I've missed your progress. I'll be praying you get one of these jobs and not just that but that they fit well with your life. You are so awesome man and an inspiration! Take care my friend
 
Jerman said:
Merry, Ding, Pen, beth, GirlyG, Jer's girl- Thanks for all of the support had a fantastic interview today and am going back yet again tomorrow for a 3rd department head int. they are just tryingto fit me in any way they can. will let you all know tomm. many thanks again!
Click to expand...

:)

i can hear you smiling from here! :D

great to hear you sounding so positive, Jer - it warms my heart to know my cyber-bruv is getting there :)

:goodluck:
 
well? any news? its like be a expectant dad, even though i havent experiacne that!! i want to hear some good news jerry
 
Am so glad to hear that you are having some good luck at last. Am wishing you all the luck in the world!!!!!!
You must be feeling great :)
Having just gone back to work after 8 months off I know how good it is to be back working even though it is mightily tough on my body it is doing wonders for my confidence and brain ;)
x
 
I haven't been on the forum in a while and I return to GREAT news! SO glad things seem to be looking up for you! :) You deserve it!
 
Hello my friends, I have an interview on Friday with two more people in two more departments that will fill my week with a 40 hour position. I am fairly certain that i have it locked up and am trying to focus upon the fact that this is a really good move. It is hard to depend upon friends for support and room and board in terms of pride but I am very grateful for their support and pledge my loyalty and love to them forever. I am anxious to get to work and to start to contribute towards the big picture:mortgage,bills, etc...

I am struggling a bit with the relationship/marriage side of things as I had my three babes over the weekend for nearly two full days. Went to bring my daughter home (3rd wife 3rd child plz dont judge) with my two boys and drop the princess to her mom who was two sad to see my boys. This was tough for me as I know she is struggling with pain and emotional issues and was hard as well in terms of having to pull in the driveway with the boys in the car to see the home that used to be theirs.

I am not sure how to handle this but told the boys that we would be strong and ok (through a choked up voice) no matter what life had in store for us. It was a bit sad as we were all trying to talk above/around weezy so that she didn't have to feel the pain we were all feeling. she spontaneously broke into a repetitive chorus of "See ya tomorrow love you be back soon." We were all
ok till this point then struggled with the magnitude of her words and the irony.

On the upside of things my son is the starting defensive tackle and captain of his freshman football team which is now 3-0. He is a tremendous human being who will make his mark on this world in ways I can not even imagine at this point.

I continue to feel the pain of my potentially failed marriage and the grief that will accompany it but am saddeneed by the loss of the relationships between my boys and my wife that will be terminated but likely undaddressed.

really good weekend overall but painfull to see my wife with knowing that things are not headed in a positive direction.
 
Oh wow Jerman such mixed emotions, that is really hard.

Congratulations on the job, it is so wonderful to hear and also to your son on his remarkable achievements. You must be a very proud father and deservedly so.

I am sorry to read about your personal relationships and can only extend my thoughts and prayers to you that you will overcome the pain and sorrow soon and move onto the the life you deserve. One that brings you peace, happiness and contentment.

Take care Jerman, :hug::hug::hug:
Dusty
 
Jerry - So sorry to hear of the struggle you are going through. I just can't imagine how you must feel.

I am happy to hear that the job situation is looking good. I think that will help you in more ways than one.

Thinking of you as always!
 
Thank you Kelly & Dustykat. I am truly doing the best that I can to remain as positive as I am able. I never really asked for a whole lot out of life but to be happy and to be loved. I am loved a great deal by my children and am so very proud of the three of them. The heartache that I am feeling is magnified by their sadness and the gut wrenching certainty that I will not be going home. Flaring a bit today as expected i guess but really doing the best that i can.
 
Hey Jerman, wonderful news that you got to spend some quality time with the kids. Dont worry no one will judge you, I have been married 3 times but only one child. I know about having relationship break ups and trust me it will get better with time. It always does. Best thing you have going for you and when (not if) you get this job, you will be too busy and self gratification is good for you and builds your confidence. Sometimes we have to sink to the bottom...so we can see the light and have a better future. Hang in there, you will get through all this and see the past as a learning experience, not a mistake. Let us know when you get the job!! :D
 
beth, Rosemary, Kello82, Jeff D., Ding, Sharon, Sam, Marisa, Benson, & Joan-

Thanks for the recent well wishes for the job am going this Friday and should have things locked up after that I hope. Sorry for the delay in replying no rudeness intended at all- still have my spaceshot moments. Please know that I am grateful for your friendships and kindness/guidance you are a tremendous group!
 
Pen said:
Hey Jerman, wonderful news that you got to spend some quality time with the kids. Dont worry no one will judge you, I have been married 3 times but only one child. I know about having relationship break ups and trust me it will get better with time. It always does. Best thing you have going for you and when (not if) you get this job, you will be too busy and self gratification is good for you and builds your confidence. Sometimes we have to sink to the bottom...so we can see the light and have a better future. Hang in there, you will get through all this and see the past as a learning experience, not a mistake. Let us know when you get the job!! :D
Click to expand...

Pen, you are an amazing lady! you have know idea how much I needed to hear this today. Thank you my friend.
 
Jer - you're on a journey of facing a whole new load of 'firsts' - first time your boys don't get to go in your previous home, there'll soon be a first christmas in these new circumstances - it's so hard, it's not much different from 'first milestones' after a loved one has died, it's still grief, and it's still painful.... but having personally gone through both a divorce and loss in both ways, each 'first' you get through gives you strength and courage to get through everything else that comes your way.... it is not easy at the beginning, but buddy you are doing amazingly, and you are very much loved and needed.

the best advice i can give you is - be kind to yourself. don't expect too much, don't despair if you have a down day, or your stomach kicks off - it's normal, you're adjusting... but you're getting there, and that's the main thing.

and - you have us - we are behind you bud. xx
 
Thank you Suz, I seem to be having a really tough one today. I am going to a few doc appts today, but am having one of those want to stay in bed days. Not going to, am up & showered but am shaking all through my whole body. I am just a bag of nerves, appts are for two and three pm, going to store ahead of time to try to pull myself out of this funk.
 
You can do it, JER! I have so much faith in you :) If your children see as much strength in their father as many of us on this board have seen, you have nothing to worry about. I will be praying for/thinking about you this Friday. Can't wait to give you a great big WAHOO!

As far as what you said about the loss of relationships for your children not being addressed - have you thought about bringing them with you to one of your counseling sessions? Maybe bring it up with your counselor to see what they say/think about it. Could be good for the little ones to express how they feel in a safe and accepting environment :)
 

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