Just recently I started the familiar signs and symptoms of my Crohn's coming more active, the abdomial pains, the diarrhea, the aches, pains and just feeling dang gone tired. Not sleeping well and of course the anxiety that goes along with, here we go again. The bood work, colonoscopy, confirmed.. Is my employer going to understand , family, friends, significant others , you feel like crap, but do they really want to hear about all your aches and pains and bathroom events... now what im dealing with is having diarrhea, the kind where you may or not make it to the bathroom in time. the kind that where after you eat. you find your self relieving just what you ate. Now that I am covered through Intermittent Fmla, it still does not cover me if I happen to have to make a pit stop and show up for work 5 mins late so my company is not accepting that and dont accept doctor excuses. Also I am only cover up to 1 day for the event upto 3 occurances a month. The company is not understanding why i cant let them know an hour before shift, of my tardiness, and dont understand that i just cant help it. and cant come up with an idea that somehow I know by magic that I am going to have to deal with diarrhea. The absent mangagement group needs a letter of excuse for me being absent more than 1 day from my pcp, but he is out of office until next week. I could go on in to work , and not make it to the restroom in time, or choose to stay home where its not so devistating . and since I my doctor wont return until thursday , time is not on my side and my company will give me another point . Oh and by the way, It wont be until June until I cleared thru blood work and thyroid test until I can actually start taking the Medication for my crohns. Because of the stresses Im having stupid anxiety attacks, the kind where you feel like you cant breath. Been rushed to the er room twice. I really dont have anyone who can really relate to my crohns to talk to, I dont have anyone to vent to , and simply I feel alone, I feel like a freak, and a psychotic maniac for having these anxeity attacks. Depression is there . Just at a point where i just cant deal with all. And am getting tired of hearing , Oh its ok, ????? I think REALLY Are you kidding me. The ray of sunshine is not what I need when I feel like everything around me is coming apart at the seams. And so when you loose your job, due to the informalities of your sickness, rules and regulations.. There goes your insurance and we all know how expensive it is to be treated for this disease.
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