Crohn's and Motherhood

[Tiffany Tosc]

Hey Guys,

I was wondering if there are any new moms out there with Crohn's. I am 26 years old with a 6 month old baby at home. It seems to be so hard to balance being a good mom, Working Full time, and being a full time crohnie. My disease has been really acting up.The amount of stress that comes along with being a new mom, and a wife has taken a tole on me. Any suggestions?


DX with Crohns 9 Years ago.
Medications: Lialda, Remicaid, Occasionally steriods, Fish Oil, Iron, Vit E, Probiotic, B12

 

[chrisnsteph1022]

My main advice is to rely on your husband, if he's available. Mine is wonderful. I come home from work and crash. The kids will sit with me and watch TV, or talk about their day. I leave the floor play up to my husband. He takes care of dinner for everyone. The kids aren't really old enough to know about my disease, but they know that mommy doesn't feel well and needs to rest. They're 4 and 5, so I'm not a NEW mom, but I can relate to the stress of working full-time and coming home to children who still need to be cared for.

 

[Tiffany Tosc]

Thanks for the advice. He works full time and goes to school two days a week at night so hes just as tired as me. He really helps out with keeping the baby entertained but as far as house work goes I dont think he even knows where the kitchen is. lol

 

[stupidbody!]

Haha the kitchen! I went through something similar but probably worse. I've been tired since puberty, but otherwise I didn't know there was anything wrong with me. When my daughter was 3 months old I started having crohn's symptoms. By the time she was 5 months I was in a full blown flare trying to get help and still didn't know what was going on. That was hell. Anyway, finally got a proper diagnosis, doing better, but still really tired. My husband was going through school during that time too! Thankfully he graduated last spring. Is there anyway you could not work, cut your hours back, move in with parents (no one likes that idea)? I stay at home with my daughter and most days we don't do much cause I'm tired.

 

[suschex]

It really is such a tough thing being a Mom with Crohn's! My kiddos are 5 and 6 so they are a bit older now and that makes a big difference. It is far less physically demanding as they get older. However, I remember so very well the struggle it was when they were infants/toddlers. I remember just laying on the floor with them crawling around/over me playing but it was the best I could do at the time. My heart goes out to you right now!

I just go slowly through my day doing what I can and not worrying about what I can't. The most important thing to me is that my kiddos know that they are loved and accepted for who they are and that our home will always be a warm, safe place for them to live and grow and learn.

The best advice I can give you is to give yourself a break evey chance you get. Nothing has to be perfect...ever!

Hang in there and keep posting when you need!!!

 

[Tiffany Tosc]

Thanks everyone. It really helps to know that Im not the only one going through this. I wish I could stay home but to be perfectly honest we couldnt afford to live if we didnt both work.

"Nothing has to be perfect...ever!"- this is a lesson I am learning. Its something I def have to work on. I am the type of person who wants everything to be perfect and that added stress doesnt help my disease.

It has been so great talking to everyone and hearing how you each deal with the stress.

 

[Sha0913]

Yeah, Im definitley not a new mom I have 4, they are 8,6,5,4 years old. I work a full time job and a part time job and home and wife and blah blah blah. I totally understand everyone on here and agree with them totally, you have to rely on your hubby as much as possible. Take a break even if you think you should be doing something else. BREATHE, do lots of breathing. Take time for yourself. And definitely, nothing can be perfect, Im am extremely OCD and have had to learn to let things go, its hard but you have to. Hope this helps, Shannon

 

[suschex]

Maybe it would be good to have an area on this forum for Moms with Crohn's...I know there are days I could give support and days I need support....

Just a thought...

 

[Tiffany Tosc]

Sha0913 wow 4 I thought I was stressed with one lol and to work two jobs thats incredible. Must be alot of stress. I have been trying to work on the breathing thing. So far it really seems to help. I have a case of OCD myself. The hardest thing for me so far has been to just let things go and relax. I know I need to for my health and my son. But its easier said then done.

suschex your right there should be an area specially for moms with Crohn's. Being a mom with Crohn's isnt easy and it has be great to be able to talk to all of you ladies.
:ybiggrin:

 

[Sha0913]

I totally agree with the moms with crohns forum, that would be great!!!!
And Tiffany things will fall into place and OCD does really help with crohns in many ways. Because of my OCD, I am very scheduled and have things set up like clock work and that helps relieve alot of the stress in life. I just have to learn that if things dont go as planned with my schedules, I just have to relax, thats my hard part!! haha!

 

[stupidbody!]

I would also love to have a Moms with Crohn's group! I have learned to let a lot of things go. It seems like you have to with crohn's. The apartment is never as clean as I would like, I never do as many things as I would like, etc. I kind of understand not feeling that you can afford not to work. We were kind of forced into it in the beginning and it became much more of a priority when I got better caused I had missed out on being a mom so much.

We really took a hard look at our priorities, which I would recommend to anyone with Crohn's. We also learned to be really creative with our resources. Dave Ramsey's class was extremely helpful to us. It's possible to get by with less IF that's what you want or need. I'm not trying to push you in one direction. I'm just trying to say it might help to talk with your husband about what your priorities are and find a way to make it happen.

 

[Tiffany Tosc]

We have discussed me possibly staying home but right now it isnt an option. He is still an apprentice so its not possible. Hopefully some day. I would love to stay home with my baby!
"I never do as many things as I would like," I know what you mean. I am the queen of lists and I always have a list a mile long of things to do. I have been trying to tell myslef if 3 of the things on the list get done then thats good.

I have also been trying to eat better and take supplements. Anyone have success with this? I asked the doctor and he told me the only supplement that helps is Probiotic. I have read so many articles that swear by coconut oil. Anyone try alternative approaches to healing?

 

[stupidbody!]

I tried a lot of naturopathic stuff when I was at my worst. I didn't think it really did much for me. My feeling is it only goes so far. It probably helps some people more than others, I'm not sure. You can always try it. For us we tried so many things it got to be pretty expensive. The thing that I remember helping the most during my flare was a aloe/flax oil enema. I hate enemas. They take a lot of time and that wasn't a good long term solution. I'm trying eating plantains for the heck of it and got my b-12 tested today. Cutting out food allergies helped a lot. Eating healthy food is always a good thing. With that said Prednisone and Humira are the only things that got me to some level of normalcy. I wish there were natural treatments that actually worked.

 

[Kyley]

Just remember to not put too much pressure on yourself to be the best mum in the world as you are already that!
Listen to your body and do what you can. Your husband sounds wonderful as is mine and it really is a god send to have a supportive partner.
I only found this forum yesterday and it is so wonderful to read and chat to people just like us and know what we are going through!
Take care of yourself.
Kyley xxx

 

[Tiffany Tosc]

The only drugs that work for me are also predisone and Remicaid. But some of the side effects are so scary. I really wish there were some natural treatments we could try that would work. If anyone hears of anything please let me know. Im am game to try anything.

Great Talking to everyone