I think the prednisone cheeks tend to create an illusion of wellness where there is none in the eyes of those who haven't known me pre-crohn's or simply don't know me.
Since this is the "how are you feeling today" thread it's a mixed bag. I am grateful to currently be sitting on a comfy couch at the coast enjoying time with family.
It could be easy to dwell on how the brief walk down to the beach left me dizzy and seeing spots needing to rest every hundred feet or so at an elevation far less then I'm accustomed, the constant nausea and numbness that makes me think there's something off with current meds. but frankly a part of me feels ashamed for all I've been able to enjoy the past year and the love within the relationships in my life that gives me an opportunity to live and thrive regardless of circumstance.
It is easy to forget the wracking pain the moment it subsides and move through it. It is not as easy to get past feelings of guilt for the privileges I do have: the freedom from pressure in finding a job or developing a career through the corporate ladder, for the unconditional care I receive, the government support which has left me more financially stable and medically covered then I could achieve on my own, and so much more. I am not grateful I have Crohn's, but ashamed that having Crohn's is what has given me the courage to try to find unconventional means of building a life and achieving my dreams.
