Oh Cat, I can't keep up with myself right now. I didn't notice your post that your gerbil had actually died until several hours later. I'm so sorry about that. I think Allie is stabilizing, it seems almost like we get over one hill with her and then something else comes up (both with her and with us.) Right now though, she seems as well as she can be.
When I was growing up we had gerbils, but they multiplied so fast there was never just one or two, so I really don't know their social needs. And I was very young then so don't remember.
Regarding my mom, I know I could never do that again. It was just luck that she came at one of my better physical times of the past few years, but it also took everything out of me and then some. I slept most of the afternoon yesterday then all night solidly, and slept in this morning. I slept more than not in a 24-hour period. I'm really surprised I didn't have migraines while she was here, at least not full-fledged ones. I have noticed a couple of heart issues (that will be recorded on my heart monitor thank goodness), including one quite serious syncope episode yesterday, while just sitting, just before I had to take Mom to the airport. Since I didn't have any other way to get her there at that point I had to still drive and hope that nothing else happened. That was ok. Getting there was a bit of a challenge, tho, as it was pouring rain, traffic was bad, my mom is terrified of even riding in a car in normal situations (and has told me this whole week that the only person she trusts driving is my sister Judy, the one in Indiana whose daughter lives and was married here this week), then I couldn't even get a handicapped parking spot any where near where I had to take her into the airport terminal. I walk much slower than most people (and with my cane), and she walks 10 times slower than me and really needs a wheelchair which we couldn't get until in the building with the airline she was going thru. We almost missed her flight because of how long it took to walk from the parking lot to where we could get assistance. When I called my little sister to tell her she was in the hands of the airline who was taking care of her so on her way back to Indiana, my little sister made some snide comment about how I shouldn't (ie couldn't) handle distractions when driving, all because I mentioned I won't use my cell phone when driving like some people do so I was calling before I left and needed to go before I got charged for an extra hour. (I know from mom Judy talks on the phone while driving.) I don't think she has ever even been in the car with me when I have been driving for over 30 years and has no idea of my driving skills, and I pride myself on being an extra safe driver (in spite of the syncope episode she didn't know about). I won't go into all the little remarks my mom made because I know a lot of it is her dementia. However, I have been going through a lot of family drama the last couple of years especially and have wondered if I even want to keep in contact with most of them. It's kind of sad because my family has been quite important to me, but the only time they seem to want to be around me is when they want something. I'm just tired of being the one that is used and then neglected, or worse, often thought of as the weak one in the family when I have been the one to step up to the plate when nobody else would and I was the least capable physically, and then they get together when in town and don't invite me to these little get togethers they have and of course I feel a little not wanted. It doesn't help that my religion teaches that family is the center of everything on this earth, or at least should be. They don't expect us to stay in abusive situations, but it is complicated. So I am struggling. Actually, most of this came to a head over Thanksgiving when I invited a bunch of family but nobody would come, saying they were going this way or that, but they all got together without telling me about it ( I found out through a fluke). These latest family get-togethers didn't help much over this past week, though my sister in-law did reach out to us and take Mom home an extra night after the wedding day (very long day so was appreciative) and after mom complaining about our place and the air mattress she told us she was very comfortable on, then my sis in law did have us for Sunday dinner. She even went so far as to look up Crohn's friendly foods, nobody has done that before.
Took longer writing this then expected, need to go finish working on some ribs I am making for dinner. Doug will be surprised I have dinner ready before he gets home if he doesn't see this here. I'm usually too wiped out at that time of day to cook.
Sorry folks for the long family rant.