Last one wins PG version 3.0

Status
Not open for further replies.
I used to wear a moustache like that in the 80's , and I thought it was cold here this week !
 
A
man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill.

He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. He's negative for COVID, Ebola, Malaria, and pretty much all the recognizable infectious diseases.
The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings.
“This is your doctor. We’ve got the results back from your battery of tests, and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty and rare virus that is highly contagious and is frequently fatal.”
“Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, Doctor?”
“Well, we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and quesadillas.”
“Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully.
The doctor replied, “No… but it’s the only food we can slide under the door.”
 
Misheard lyrics

A class of six-year-olds sang, "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing" at a Christmas concert. The line “God and sinners reconciled” was a tricky one for this age group.

One little boy, with a voice that completely drowned out the rest of the choir, happily belted out, "God and sinners dressed in style!"
 
At a wedding in Glasgow I whispered to a guy next to me, "Isn't the bride a right ugly dog" "Do you mind. That's my daughter you're talking about" "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were her father''...

'I'm her fucking mother' came the reply
 
An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.”

“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”
The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced!”she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!”
She calls Ireland immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way"
 
Just read the imposing but scary highway reports.
incredible workers risking their lives in restoring highways.
hope you were able to have a good Christmas and wishing you all a
Happy New Year
 
hey Trysha good to see you back , hope the improvements continue ,thanks Trysha Ellie the golden is doing really well , almost fully house trained (touch wood} and sleeps most nights for about 8 hours , she is a lovely puppy
 
Happy New Year!! I have not posted here for a while. My Crohn's is still in remission. I am having some other medical issues. My diabetes is high. I need to get it under control again. I also have high blood pressure, which I check on a home monitor. In the last few weeks the monitor shows I am having a irregular heartbeat. My primary doctor has ordered a halter monitor, which I should get soon. Fun times! I hope you all are doing better than I.
 
Hello to you both, Doug and Sandy. Good to hear from you! Hopefully you get to the bottom of your current health situation and get it sorted. I'm wishing you both the very best health possible in the New Year!
 
CDC Says Men Can Now Safely Use The Urinal Right Next To Another Guy’s Urinal

Dr. Walensky clarified that the CDC still recommends men using urinals right next to other guys should refrain from sighing loudly, clearing throats, spitting, or cracking anatomy-related jokes.

My thoughts: What's wrong with these people?

Three rules you never break with urinals

1. If the option is available, always have at least one urinal between you and the other guy.
2. Do not initiate conversation while using it as it’s just weird.
3. For the love of God never turn your head.

Most of you know this already, but you must never forget!
 
I'm pretty sure I got my 3rd shot on top of Omicron. I went from not great to eight to twelve days in bed. I'm not anti Vax, but apparently you should wait for a certain amount of time before a booster.
 
Hello again my friends,it's good to be back, Me and the old man have had covid so I couldn't get to the shops to buy a new laptop.All's well now but feel a tad depressed but maybe it's the January blues. Nice to see you Trysha :)(y)
 
Tony H said:
Hey Carol you really had me worried ,Great to see that you and hubby are OK,

https://photos.app.goo.gl/omqe2VRRWU3kL2Vx5
Click to expand...
What a gorgeous picture Tony,,,,,the scenery's not too bad either.It's good to be back with you all but not having a PC for 2 months has got me out of my old routine.I'll be back to normal soon though,,,,,,,,NORMAL me ???
 
Still here Lisa,some of the regulars have disappeared alas,but we who are still here hope to see them pop up again,and maybe we'll have some newbies sometime,I hope you are keeping well and the covid has passed you and yours by,Keep safe.
 
cant see im winning esp since my wife reminded me EARLY this morning that it was our anniversary , Im presently running for the hills , 35 years and still not winning at home ,,,,,,,,,, to be continued
 
Happy Anniversary to you both, You've got another 20+ years to catch us up,,,,,,,,,,but I WAS a child bride ( and no shotgun to be seen) Having the patience of a saint helps,,,,,,me not him
 
Calm down Chris......you can't do anything about it and it might never happen and if it does you 're still stuffed. One day at a time mate,one day at a time
 
Just let me be pissed. I'm so mad I won't even watch the stupid Chinese Olympics... I don't think they even deserve to have them... Not a big fan of Communist arseholes that gang up on NATO! My grandfather fought for our freedoms and I swear if I was military age I would be signing up just in case I got a chance to fight those buggers. I can definitely see this situation overseas escalating. I wish for peace but I happen to know better.
 
I wasn't having a go at you Chris just worrying about your heart rate x
I went for a swim today and had a pee in the deep end, but the lifeguard noticed and blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in
 
Good Sunday evening Everybody
great to see you back Carol…sorry about the Covid…….six in my family have all had it…even though they were alil vaccinated….
we just had some more snow…it does beautify the landscape …
I had a fall on the ice in the snow….hurt my bad arm and leg again….getting better
with help fro physiotherapist…he does home visits and doesn’t want me to go to the clinic until all the snow and ice goes…he is exceptional.
it’s hard not to be a scatter brain with so many things happening in the world…
all those trucks in Ottawa because the drivers don’t like the edict of everyone
being required to have Covid vaccination.
what a world we live in…
Cheers!
 
Really happy to see you Trysha and sorry you've had another fall.Please get better in time for Spring at least.
We had a leaflet through the door this morning telling us the BBC are filming in our road this evening between 5pm and 9pm and would we please move cars before then.They've just parked the porta-loos a couple of doors down and are putting cones in empty parking places.No Idea who the actor is.We get quite a lot of filming in the area due to the coast and historic castles and villages etc.We had Harrison Ford and Tom Cruise last year so watch the new movies when they're released,
 
That’s interesting….which episodes will you be in Carol. .??
Ottawa still in a state of flux…..so sad to see what is happening here and other places
at least the sun is shining brightly but freezing cold out there
I will tog up in full winter gear and go for a walk in the brisk freezing air…
Cheers ….
 
yeah its getting busy again , sorry to hear about your fall Trysha , hope you recover quickly , hey Chris , hey Carol ,

and exiting news from my mad world , our puppy had to have surgery on her intestines to REMOVE A SOCK , crazy dog , surgery went well , now waiting for her to poop on her own before they release her , DEJA VUE anyone , I thought the the bowel problems were my "thing"
 
Did you find the matching sock Tony…..poor dog hope she will soon be home with you but before that…lock up your socks….
briskly cold today -20 and I have to go to the hair salon……I will be well insulated..and wearing non slip boots..
some truckers are on the move from Ottawa others staying put it is a very tense situation..
never expected this in Canada.
the brightly shining sun belies the freezing temperatures..
Keep fit everyone
 
Matching socks are a rarity in our house 🏠, hopefully it wasn't mine ,
Don't know how ye manage with that kind of cold , we only dip below 0°C once or twice a year but we do get a fair bit of wind and rain which can be quite miserable.
 
They are a worry these little creatures.The worst of it is she won't learn by her mistake.One of ours swallowed Les's very expensive hearing aid.....oh,the stories us dog folk could tell eh ? I had a wonderful afternoon at the dentist's yesterday.After waiting 3mnths due to lock down and our covid I had to sit there and be tortured.AND pay for it.Keep safe Trysha but that's why they're called accidents.You need plenty padding.
 
Hope your poochie is well on the mend Tony..she needs a doggie play toy to keep her busy..
Thanks for the kind thoughts Carol…I am fine now thanks to a gifted physio..
we have some rain this morning to wash the sidewalks and to prepare for more snow this afternoon.
I shopped yesterday. ..so don’t need to go out for a few days.
I have a permanent headache caused by the vasculitis…acupuncture helps for a few days relief but it creeps back.
one day I will have no complaints.
The siege in Ottawa continues…I am afraid it will end in disaster for all concerned.
I may buy a lottery ticket to test my luck…but I am a sore loser..
 
Is everyone lost in the snow?
big downfall last night…glad I don’t have to clear sidewalks.
The sun is brilliant…..hard on the eyes especially with the whiteness of snow.
too hazardous for a walk…
 
I think we're all sunk into doom and gloom Trysha.Although our little corner of the world. and I mean only our postcode area,has escaped the chaotic weather of the last few days.Not long until Springtime and we'll all feel much better I'm sure;
 
cmack said:
How is the pup, Tony?
Click to expand...
hey Chris , the pup is flying , staples out Monday , so fingers crossed all will be well , in this crazy world its nice to have something small to worry about , cant take any more news , sticking my head firmly in the sand and reading good books , listening to great music and taking care of a crazy puppy who decided this morning that 6am was a good time to imitate a timber wolf , hope you are doing better Chris .
 

Attachments

  • 20220222_201735.jpg
    20220222_201735.jpg
    192.5 KB
Ditto Carol……can’t think of anyone to talk about…
My sister was telling me about her dog….her family gave it to her for Christmas.
It barks and sings…growls..and is generally good company..then she said
the batteries were long life ones….
had me going for a while since she never in her life had a dog….!!!!!
Very cold and windy here….still plenty of snow to share…
My Physiotherapist-Acupuncturist won’t allow me to go to his clinic…he has been
coming to my home for weeks now since the snow was bad.
He is more help to me than all the doctors and the acupuncture works very well
reducing and eliminating pain,nausea etc.
It is a good investment for my pension…which I can’t get out to spend..
Hoping to dispense with the prednisone in the next few months…so far been taking it for over two years…nasty stuff ..but effective
cheers Everybody
 
Nice to see you Trysha,you had me going too, re; your sisters dog,It's a lovely day today,mild and sunny,and we had a nice walk in the park over the road,The birds are singing and the spring flowers are coming out, I;ve got no chit-chat and it doesn't fell right telling funnies given the state of the world just now, Let;s hope things improve soon.Keep well,
 
Keeping a sunny side up helped people in WW2. Carol but a very tall order
with the current state of things.
it is heartrending to see the devastation in Ukraine and their very brave leader.
Lots of prayers for their safety and success in defeating a world enemy.
Moving on to brighter things..it is a bright sunny day freezing cold no warmth from the sunshine.
let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me……..
Cheers Everyone
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

P
How long on EEN before your child had solid motions again
Replies
4
Views
499
kiny
kiny
K
This has destroyed my life.
Replies
8
Views
1K
ronroush7
ronroush7
L
New to all of this.
Replies
8
Views
2K
Bespectacledberries
B
W
Skeptical about Crohn's diagnosis
Replies
9
Views
1K
cheka
C
T
My Story
Replies
0
Views
26
TBG1501
T

Latest posts

Back
Top