Sex after total proctocolectomy

[lotte26]

Hey guys, well mostly girls actually..
I have a few questions to ask about sex.
How long did it take you to receive intercourse after your op? Not that I am in a rush or anything just would be nice for bf to know a roundabout time (he said he doesn't care and he would rather be with me forever without sex than for me to be in pain, but it would still be nice to know, ya know something to look forward to after all the crap....)

And more importantly, has the operaton effected how sex feels to you? And if so was it for the better or worse? If you feel more comfortable you can just pm your answers to me.

It can't be worse than now though, about 85% of the time we try I can't have sex as it hurts too much! It makes me feel so useless

Thanks guys and girlies

Xx

 

[poolside]

I had a resection w/colostomy and I'm 4 weeks post op here, and not totally in the mood yet lol.
Having said that, my doctor did inform me to "get busy" whenever I felt I was ready, ie: no pain in the ab area etc.

 

[LOSTnut]

I had surgery in Jan and now have an Ileostomy. Haven't had any urges and feel bad for the BF. But, with all the weight loss and the bag :eek2: I just don't feel sexy or desireable and when I think about having sex I think about how I look, which is a huge turn-off for me. Haven't really talked to the BF about it because I am not sure what I would answer if he says he doesn't care about the looks cuz he loves me.

 

[Nyx]

I must be a weirdo...my fiance and I had sex while I was still in the hospital...lol Mind you, I was there for 3 weeks and was bored..lol. So I'd say for me, it was about the 2 week mark. I think it's different for everyone and yes, how you feel about yourself after the surgery is a huge deal as well. I just figured that my bag is permanent, so I might as well get used to it, and he will too. If I don't make a big deal of it, he won't either. When I got home from the hospital, I bought a pouch cover and that helps as well, so neither of us have to actually see the bag when we're intimate. There is also some pretty cute lingerie out there too that works very well with a bag...lol

As for sensation etc..we did have to be a bit careful at first because of my incision (I had open surgery), but besides that, no issues in any other areas. Mind you, I still have all my stump so don't have to worry about that incision as well. I didn't find that there was any discomfort in the abdomen area at all even though everything was moved around. Besides, I'm the kind of gal who will change positions a gazzilion times till it feels good....lol I'm a giver like that...lol!!

 

[bruscar]

Wahoo nyx !!

would have liked to be on your floor/ward !!

you little minx, in the hospital. . . . . .

lotte,

he may have to be patient and also "look after himself" for a while..

good luck

 

[lotte26]

I had surgery in Jan and now have an Ileostomy. Haven't had any urges and feel bad for the BF. But, with all the weight loss and the bag :eek2: I just don't feel sexy or desireable and when I think about having sex I think about how I look, which is a huge turn-off for me. Haven't really talked to the BF about it because I am not sure what I would answer if he says he doesn't care about the looks cuz he loves me.

You poor thing it must be really hard seeing a huge change on yourself, but I bet your bF doesn't think any less of you for it. I am sure he still thinks your absolutely gorgeous . I hope you get around to talking about it because you deserve to be happy and have a good time after your surgery. And try to learn to love your scars, they show just what you've been thru to get better, and to me that's sexy. And if you are worried about the bag, you could always wear a sexy slip or a bag cover I bet it would make you feel soooo good . You should go out and have a nice pamper and get your hair and makeup done it will make you feel so nice . You deserve it Girly!
Oh also did you get the total proctocolectomy? Like rectum and anus too? if so does it still hurt?

thanks guys

 

[ameslouise]

he may have to be patient and also "look after himself" for a while..

Yep, I told my hubber to hit the showers and still do! I am 8 weeks post op and we just had sex for the first time last week. I was hoping that my pre-op sex pain would go away but it's still there. It's actully only there upon entry, but I am fine after we get going.

Everyone is different as to when they get their sex drive back. There's lots of other creative stuff to do to help yer man out in the meantime. You are lucky you have such a patient and understanding BF!

- Amy

 

[LOSTnut]

Nyx, you kill me ... and give me hope that probably some day I might find my sex drive again.
Thanks, Charlotte, for the picker-upper. I have gained some weight back and things are not flabbing as much anymore, so that might help too. And, no, I have just an Ileostomy, i.e. only parts of the large and small bowel have been removed. But, I had open surgery with the big scar going from belly button to pubic bone and currently a draining fistula, which doesn't help much either. :hallo3:
LOL--I used to sleep in the buff all the time but now I am wearing a spaghetti shirt and underwear .... it just helps keeping the flopping bag a little securer. :shifty-t:

 

[Mountaingem]

I must be a weirdo...my fiance and I had sex while I was still in the hospital...lol Mind you, I was there for 3 weeks and was bored..lol. So I'd say for me, it was about the 2 week mark. I think it's different for everyone and yes, how you feel about yourself after the surgery is a huge deal as well. I just figured that my bag is permanent, so I might as well get used to it, and he will too. If I don't make a big deal of it, he won't either. When I got home from the hospital, I bought a pouch cover and that helps as well, so neither of us have to actually see the bag when we're intimate. There is also some pretty cute lingerie out there too that works very well with a bag...lol

Nyx you are so awesome!

After my hysterectomy (which was abdominal-an 8" vertical incision) My husband and I were able to have sex at 8 weeks.

But if you're feeling good, there's plenty of other fun stuff you can do until you're healed properly!:devil: