My painful Story

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can you call her tomorrow and ask why they gave you so many laxatives?
How long does she want you to take them?

How are your hemorrhoids and do the laxatives make them worse?

You poor guy!!!
 
My doctor is in Vancouver until next week.:ymad:
She said to follow all medication instructions carefully. I had a hard time keeping up that schedule.
I really had to try and slow my self down when on the toilet. Most nights I was shaking uncontrollably. I was deathly afraid of making them bleed. I could feel em. Like a 6 inch area up and down in my butt area. It was a miracle they did na bleed when I was using the bathroom eight times a day. Woke up needing to poo and went to sleep needing to poo. All with hic cups. I am coming down off the laxatives now. Trying to wrap my head round why? Who the hell in their right mind would prescribe let alone ingest three laxatives at once?
I am going to take a day off all laxtaives and see if I use the bathroom. If I do na...then I will try ONE of them. NOT all at once, bloody hell.:(
Every night I felt like my azz has been paddled a million times, getting stabbing pain in my left and center stomach. With the hic cups I was like "Kill me(hic)Kill(hic)Me(hic)." Hic cups caused way more pain, not just in my stomach.
 
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Damn it...I jus puked. :(
Trying so hard. I had the hic cups for the majority of the day. It gave me a splitting head ache with intense pain in my top left of the stomach. Pretty sure I drank too much water trying to kill the hic cups. I did take the lax a day. I am totally staying off any laxatives for a few days now. This does not feel good. I can na remember the last time I felt normal. I am soo messed up now :(.
I can stll feel ...like a pulsating lump upper left. Hic cups are back ....
 
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Maybe she is having you take these because she saw a need for them... on the colonoscopy. sounds like they worked!!!!!!
She should have explained her reasoning behind taking so many. I am going to make it manditory that doctors write all of their conclusions and reasons for medications down on paper and send it home with their patients. Or this day and age, they could email it to them!!!

Hope you are better tomorrow. there has got to be a way to get rid of those hiccups. I will look it up and pm you.
 
The pulsating sensation is making me believe I have a Abdominal aortic aneurysm.
I have all the symptoms:(
Pain in the chest, abdomen, lower back, or flank (over the kidneys), possibly spreading to the groin, buttocks, or legs. The pain may be deep, aching, gnawing, and/or throbbing, and may last for hours or days. It is generally not affected by movement, although certain positions may be more comfortable than others.
A pulsating sensation in the abdomen.
A "cold foot" or a black or blue painful toe can happen if an abdominal aortic aneurysm produces a blood clot that breaks off and blocks blood flow to the legs or feet.
Fever or weight loss, if it is an inflammatory aortic aneurysm.
An aortic aneurysm is a bulging section in the wall of the aorta-the large blood vessel delivering blood from the heart to the body-that has become stretched-out and thin. Where the wall of the blood vessel bulges out, it becomes weaker and may burst or rupture, causing bleeding.

Most aortic aneurysms are caused by a combination of hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis), genetics, and aging. However, a small number are caused by inflammation or infection.

Aortic aneurysms rarely produce symptoms and are usually found during examinations done for other reasons. When symptoms occur, they most commonly include general complaints of abdominal or chest pain or discomfort, which can come and go or be constant.

Surgery is needed for large or fast-growing aneurysms, or when symptoms are present. Aneurysms caused by inflammation may require antibiotics.

Damn it that sounds soo much like me. Doesn't it?
I really do believe THIS is a Aortic Abdominal Aneurysm.
It explains EVERYTHING. The feeling of low circulation to my legs. Pain in my stomach area that builds and does na go away. The pulsating LUMP! Nausea and vomiting, which I just did yesterday. Weight Loss and even that is still happening.
I could die at any moment. I told Dippenaar that. He said This would na kill me. It bursts I know I am dead...damn.
 
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Yesterday was a good day. I did na hic cup all day. I went to Edmonton with my sister to get my ps3 repaired. While we were stuck in traffic the sun was beating down on me hard. I felt light head and dizzy like I was going to black out. But there was no way to get out of it, traffic was gridlocked. I started feeling Nauseous. Those feelings stayed with me all day on an off. The hot spot did na pulsate, I can still feel the lump though. But I did take a poo without using any kind of laxative!
Woke up today feeling well, but I am scared to eat...feeling a runny nose. Stuff keeps coming out. Gross.
My social assistance worker(and all others that worked in that department) were robbing the place blind. It is all coming out now. Thousands went missing in my band office. The medical I fought soo hard for...I must do all over again TODAY. I knew she was no good. But I have to go through all of this AGAIN?!
Well...that went as I expected. HORRIBLY WRONG!
The new worker is a total azz. She had a attitude towards me before I even entered the room. Instead of coming out calmly and asking me to go in the office. She SCREAMED my name out! Then when I got in there she said I HAD to get AISH. She did na even take the time to introduce hereself!? She said do not drag this out! OMG are you kidding me? Do not drag THIS OUT! I told her I have been trying to do this FOR 'YEARS. She was belligerent. I walked out...I can na take that. I refuse to listen to these abusive woman anymore. Every week I hear some BS from them, they even cam to my house LAST WEEK! Now this? Do na drag it out, drag what out? My pain, suffering and Death! O I will try not to. FUK!
I refuse to take any abuse from any person in my band office any longer. This is verbal abuse.
That worker said I was on Welfare foe two years and getting medical the WHOLE time?! I wan na on Welfare for even a year yet, and I just got medical. WTH is going on. Someone forged those documents and was collection o not only my welfare chech but a medical as well?! Then they talk to me like I did it! I am soo telling my Lawyer. He is going to rip that band office UP! How could they get away with stealing a whole check for a whole year. Soo applaud anyone could do this to a sick man.
 
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I woke up to my hot spot throbbing with pain. But I used the toilet and it almost looked normal?! But I really notice that spot, I can see my heartbeat in the top of my stomach today. Lax A day is working ,YAY!
The welfare experience was totally unpleasant. No professionalism what so ever. That woman said I received medical for 2 years?! Who was getting my medical? My Lawyer is soo going to LOVE this.
I have a appt for the second. I want the pulsating lump tested somehow, like NOW. I really do na need any type of aggravation now.
 
Floyd, I am glad your diarrhea slowed down and your hiccoughs stopped. Maybe now someone can get to the bottom of why you aren't getting the medical assistance you need. I hope they get that woman out of there. Why don't you write a letter of complaint to her bosses?
 
Yeah...no hic cups and diarrhea! But feel a lot of pain in my hot spot. The bosses are not going to be in all week! Typical! That woman....I just got off the phone with Indian Affairs. They said they are going to make sure my next visit is a pleasant one. They also said they are going to look through my files. Pretty sure INAC is coming here! :)
They are gong to phone back later, can na wait.
They did na phone back. But they did come to the Band Office today. I seen em going through EVERYONE's files. I made my appt and I saw a woman who was extremely nice(was that soo hard?) and I am FINALLY getting medical tomorrow!
I feel like a fighter, like a boxer or UFC fighter. I am fighting soo hard for everything. I am forced to fight for myself and my rights. I have fought for medical treatment and medical financial aid. After years of pain and abuse in my band office...I finally came out on top.:)
However...doc Warner is na in til May 13th now(some family emergency). My new appt is May 13th @ 3:30pm.
Two weeks...but I feel like I am getting better with the medication she gave me. My appetite is growing.
 
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Damn it! Just when I thought My stomach / hemorrhoids were better. All came crashing down today with all the bloody symptoms. Extreme fatigue, soreness in lower part of body(IE LEGS,KNEES<ANKLES),running nose/sneezing,Moving slow,Thunder stomach,Gas,Diaheria,Blood, even had pain in my chest. I was thinkin I was doing better so I decided to try a day with out any painkiller or laxative. No matter what I put in my stoamch,it all made it upset. I had a glass of milk and started pooping like crazy. First there was blood on the poo and then it all got really watery. Had soo much work today, I kept thinkin I can na do THIS! IDK...I guess talking to these Social Assistance people was making me believe I was getting better.
Soon as I take a painkiller the stomach slowed down, soo happy about that.
It was TERRIBLE today:(.
 
2nd never happened, postponed until the 13th :(. Still feel really bad. Woke up to the feeling of razor blades in my stomach. More blood yesterday.
 
I do not know what to do anymore...
No Dx for the longest time. Seems like the world is against me.
Trying soo hard to make a somewhat normal life through all of this is extremely hard.
Pain is my constant companion.
More blood/black poo today. There was A LOT. I hate the feeling of waking up scared of pain, fearing it will become worse. I hate seeing blood, why won't it stop?!
Bloody hell! :(
Now my butt feels sore, like a numb pain all round my hips(more so on the right).:cry:
 
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Floyd, I was at a CCFA (Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America) conference today on IBD. I took one big thing home from it, and I thought of you and a few others... One of the GI docs said that if there is any possibility of stricture in the bowels, it is malpractice for a doctor to prescribe pain meds as they will make the problem worse, increase the nause, slow the transit, and ultimately could lead to bowel rupture! You have got to talk to a doctor and get weaned off of opioids. No one ever died of too much pain (even though you feel like you will), but MANY young people die of opioid complications every year (even when given in right doses). Opioid related deaths are now #1 cause of death in people between the ages of 18-40! PLEASE talk to your doctor and get off this stuff - and probably the THC as well.
 
IDK...all I know is it is getting worse. Artheritus. My Hips,knees and now elbows. Elbows are hard top straighten out, they crack when fully extended.
Pain...how would I get through it? When it gets bad(which is A LOT)it feels like a stabbing pain. Most times it will stop me right in my tracks or make me bend down clutching the stomach.It throbbs with pain.
Now I am 160-150 I can feel something hard in the upper left side. I can also feel it on the same area in the back. Almost like I was cut open and it is in stitches. Burning side pain that varies ,sometimes it is like a fire others numbing. Laying on right my left side pulls down.
But painkillers making it worse I have heard before. But, I did not take painkillers and this started. This started and I ask for pain relief, which I was granted way later. Pain is na my friend or something I want to hang round all day.
THC is the one thing that kept me alive the whole time. More and more I am thinking it is a Stomach aneurysm. Something is ballooning out and it is painful. I do NOT want to feel like this!
 
It's horrible, isn't it. You are caught in such a catch 22. Ask your doctor to help you find nonnarcotics to help with the pain: amitryptylline (for abdominal pain, nerve pain), celebrex (for joint pain), neurontin (for nerve pain). CBT and PT can help with joint pains and chronic pain, but these would take regular visits and a commitment on your part to make them work. Have they tested you for rheumatoid arthritis or other connective tissue disorders? Has your sed rate or CRP ever been high?
 
I understand what you are saying. Morning is the time when everything happens, really how I gauge my day. If I feel bad pain straight away, I know it will be a bad day. That is when I take something for pain. Past week it was good...it was just the past two days.
If anything...I really am learning how to deal with this whole situation a lot better.
Today as a example, I had some yogurt and a glass a milk(not at the same time). I just used the bathroom and it almost looked normal. Side feels tender, but the pain is not that bad.
Tests? I really want to go through a lot of them as you described. Not really looking forward to that. I just prey the tests /medications does the trick.
Artheritus? I have been diagnosed by my old GP in my lower back. I know it got worse since then.
 
Well...just found out the check I received last week had no medical monies in it?!
I was told by two workers I was going to receive it. Indian affairs even stated. All one needs to receive medical is the release and a letter form a doctor, I have tow of each?!
I have nothing. Lost most of my tech equipment. PA system...gone. 2 Laptops...gone.
wii game...game. 3ds ...gone. I do na have much left :(. Really do na have much food, let alone the kind of food I need. Damn it...why won't anyone help me?
They lied to me , right in my face. Not just once ...three times.
Woke up with the razor feeling again...big surprise.
O Creator...my life. It is a test like gauntlet I endure everyday.
Trapped in a darkness...hopelessly searching for the light.
So hard trying to stay positive in conditions like this.:(
It has been over a year since I was forced out of school. On social assistance ever since, received no medical help from them what so ever.
I realize what I have always known in the back of my mind.
My band will never help me, they only drag me down making everything worse. I will never ask them for help again.
I just checked my mail, something I did na do for a few weeks. It seems Dr. Lim ordered a Small Bowel Fluroscopy on the 2nd. I re booked until the 16th @8:00am. Not really looking forward to that.
Also my wife went to social assistance and asked why we did not receive any thing. They told her we will get the check tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. I do na expect nothing, I refuse to let them get my hopes up.
 
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Well I am soo glad I did na expect anything rfom welfare. They did na give me anything. Instead they accused me of collection not jus welfare but medical as well for over two years. I have told em many times that is not true. I never received one medical.
Who did? Someone collected it, sure was not my wife er I. I have the paperwork to prove, check stubs as well. I can not wait for my step dad to get his payback, then mine will begin.
 
I ave been soo hurting physically and financially.
I feel a pain constantly. In the top of my stomach with it radiating to the back(mostly on the right side).
Social Assistance...said I claimed medical for months. Now they say I may get cut off entirely. They are holding me accountable for someone stealing government funds. They ave upset me everyday for weeks. They dragged this out, now they want me to go back on Monday. WTF do they want? They want to see me get down and BEG?
Soo tired of hearing lies.:(
O creator...when will my story get better? Will it?
 
I made up my mind. I am going to the ER today and I will get some kind of test on the pulsating lump. I can na wait until next week. I must do this NOW. I fear it will burst open soon. Pain is the worst. There is a lump just below the ribline on my upper left(right where the top ab muscles). With a feeling of low circulation in my legs. Nausea and vomiting. I had high blood pressure for years, I can see my heart beat in both of my wrists! I KNOW WHAT THIS IS NOW. Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm, just need a doctor to test.
TODAY!!!
 
Well I jus got back from the ER, did na go as I expected. I seen Dr. Adabesi, who feels I should do the tests on the 16th and see My GP to get this tested(Which is the whole bloody reason I went there). He said he feels confident the next few tests will reveal what is giving me all this pain.
I told em that pain the the top of the list , followed by the pulsating lump. Feeling of low circulation in legs, feeling full when I eat jus a lil. I feel nauseous and I vomit occasionally.This time last year I went to the ER. I woke up with the feeling like a sword was slowing piercing my middle top abdomen.
Pain was totally unbearable that day and I heard my heart pounding in my head.. They did a few tests and said I had a heart attack and let me go. Dr. Adabesi did na believe me when I told em this. He said they would 've done something. Story of my life I replied. Then I told em about the EGC's that proved my heart beats exactly like one that has had a attack.
However ...in the end he said to continue the way I am going. I did tell em that the hemorrhoids and constipation were more controlled now. He prescribed codeine with refills. Basically threw painkillers at me and told me to go home.
Then I went to a pharmacy I do na go to (My usual one was closed) where they acted like I was a ghost. I stood there for 25 minutes waving my prescription around before I stormed out. I can take the pain until tomorrow , if I must.
I feel soo ignored and alone.:(
Must wait until the16th, bloody hell.
He did say I seem to be doing well since my high blood pressure is well (Normal?!) with the adalat XL. Basically just keep doing what I am doing and continue on with the tests.
 
Well...the car is not in the best of shape. Dr Warner rescheduled again . Now it is Friday @ 9:30 and I got the appt on Thursday. I can na make all these. IDK. I am broke as a joke.
I feel Social Assistance is na going to help. They will cut me off soon. This is doing nothing but stressing me and my whole family out. I will do my best to try ignore my pain. I can na do this anymore. So tired. I need a job desperately. I accept my fate :(.
I am going to try and find a job.
 
It is down to using the car on thursday. I prey it makes it. I am applying for jobs as we speak. I am tired of begging. I really hope I can find some form of office job around my area. I am a highly trained and educated man. I am confident in my abilities.
I feel I can work through this...I must.
I need funding and no one is going to help with that but myself. I am trying to set something going for thursday and friday...but it is not looking good. How does anyone expect me to do anything? I have nothing. If I do get the car going I just want to find a job and begin working NOW. I do not have time for this BS. I been dragged through the mud for soo long. If I do na get a job ...I do know what will happen.
 
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Well today is going a lili better. I awoke feelin how I usually do. But SA actually called to give me a 80 dollar cheque(After I went and hawked my soft modded Wii and Flat screen). But it helps, I am getting closer to figuring out my ride situation. But right when I left my house I began to get unbelievable pain in the top of my stomach. It was hard to keep a straight face while I was out in public.
Last night...OMG. It felt like a THUNDERTORM in my stomach. It made noise all night. It was soo bad it made me wake to try to go, but nothing came out.
IDK...waiting on replies for work. Keep my fingers crossed.
Now my right foot feels like there is needles or slivers in the joints when I walk.
Bloody hell...why?
Gave in to codiene....I hate this.:(
I do na do it everyday...but today it jus too much. making me cry.
 
Just getting ready for bed and for the small bowel flouroscopy ordered by Dr Lim (must wake up at 600am).
I could na find any other ride than my car...I prey I make it there and back.
Day after...I have a appointment with Dr. Warner. Just making all of these is really hard.
I hope and prey tomorrow goes well. Wish me well everyone. :)
Good night.
 
We all hope it goes well for you. Let us know what you find out as soon as you are able.
Sending you lots of support and pray you get some answers.

Hope you find the job you need as well.
 
Keep us posted. It sounds like you have been through the ringer with all of this! And financial difficulties just make it that much harder. I'm so sorry things are so tough for you right now. Let us know what answers you get!
 
I made it! The car did na act up!I knew I would make after I seen a rabbit jus standing there staring at me before I left the reserve. He gave me the luck I desperately needed. When I got back I drove through a crowd of dear that seemed to be jumpin round in honor of my return. I love the wild life...my home.
Can still taste Barium :(. Told to drink LOTS of water.
 
What did they say? Give any indication of what they think it is? I love animals too. This time next week I will be in recovery probs after surgery :(:(:(:( stressed isn't the word!
 
Any results, Native? I suppose it will take a few days to hear anything. At least the test is over and the animals are happy for you! I think animals are so wonderful for healing and peace. I have two dogs and they certainly are good at making me feel better.

CheerBear, hugs and prayers for you for next week. I hope surgery and recovery go smoothly for you!
 
I jus finished feedin my dogs...whew. They were getting restless.
Results will be in next tuesday. I can still taste it. Tying to work up some kind of appetite is hard today. Feel really bloated.
But I am soo glad I got er done.
Can na stop thinkin about that rabbit. He was straight up gawking at me...did not run er anything lol.
 
Native,

I just read every single posy on every single page of this thread. It was like a soap opera. One minute I was laughing, the next minute I was crying, the next I was angry.


After reading it all, I need you to believe!!!

BELIEVE, YOUR CONDITION WILL IMPROVE.

I feel your pain, I understand where those pains are, I am with you in your fear, and am standing tall beside you and will walk every step of your journey with you.

1. Barium milkshake is gonna give you hard, white poo in about 12 hours after you drink it. Be prepared with the laxatives and take it real easy when you go.

2. You need a form of antacid for that stomach pain. Go speak to your pharmacist and get 'prilosec', it will reduce your bodies acid production, which will stop the hostile environment inside you. The small meals, pain and vomiting is your food not going down. It is very likely an inflamed ileocacel valve, which is the 1way valve between the small bowl and large bowel. It is not a fix, but will provide relief until the barium results are back.

I am awed by your strength through all this and I believe in you!!
 
Thank you all for the well wishes. Today was hard on me. Still tasting it. Like the barruim stopped my stomach. Past few days I been gettin the feeling of pins n needles in my right hand and right foot. It HURTS..I almost double over. Sometimes it feels like my foot will cramp up soo bad it will fold itself. Days when I feel tired (Like today) is when that is bad.
Soo hard trying to remember all of this(my hand,foot, test today, pulsating lump, etc.) when I go in the doc's office.
I will do my best tomorrow that is all I can do. My Aunt will be here in the morning.:)
Good night everyone.
 
Make a list before you go. It will help you to not forget anything important.
The doctors only have a short period of time with each patient and you want to make sure you cover everything.
let us know how it all goes.
 
I did na forget about anything...thank the Creator. She set me up with a
Neurologist appt on June 12th(Warner on 17th). She said the cold feeling with pins n needles is not good. I still feel cold, my legs are freezing. I do na see anyone else saying it is cold. EVERYONE is saying it is HOT today.
It was soo hot many people in Edmonton were wearing shorts. My Aunt noticed almost every woman that noticed me started staring at me. She yelled at one saying he is practically married ya sic azz. I laughed soo hard, damn my auntie is mean. I informed my Aunt that ever since losing weight THIS is what has been happening. I feel like crap, but I look like a Adonsas lol go figure. Everywhere I go I see googly eyed women..bloody hell. I am sick and hot lol.
 
It was good catchin up with and laughing with my Aunt. She tried taking me to Mc Donald's. I said That part of my life is over.:(
But I really enjoyed her company this time. The neurologist I know is a step in the RIGHT direction.
 
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nativesith said:
It was good catchin up with and laughing with my Aunt. She tried taking me to Mc Donald's. I said That part of my life is over.:(
But I really enjoyed her company this time. The neurologist I know is a step in the RIGHT direction.
Click to expand...

Yea for you saying no to McDonald's! You would have been really bad off if you had given into that temptation! Your doc didn't have any results from the MRI flouroscopy?

Be sure and increase your stool softeners if you are doing that codeine very often!
<<Hug>>
 
Results for the Flouroscopy will be in on tuesday.
Past two days I have been stressed waking up early to make the appts and the Barruim OMG. The extreme tired feeling really made me feel cold and the pin n needles feeling worse. I was scared, thinkin I was going to run into a brick wall and everything would come screaming to a halt. Scared of something bad happening to me. When I am well rested...that rarely happens. But getting enough rest is a problem some nights. Little sounds wake me up. Last night it seemed like the whole reserve was partying. My dogs were going crazy all night.
Dr. Warner felt the pulsating lump. She said it feels like the whole top of my stomach is like that. She guessed the lump is old waste matter. She is confident the test(Flouro) will reveal it. She is extremely worried about me(Stomach, roids and blood flow?!), and is disgusted with Social Assistance. We will be starting the AISH soon.
IDK how to feel about all of this...I jus want my life back.
My birthday is coming up soon. On tuesday...IDK how to feel about that. Another year like this...
 
I hope this next year brings good health and some much needed relief from pain and discomfort.

You have made a lot of good friends on here that care for you. I am one of them :)
Happy birthday early!!!!
 
I hope the results come bk ok for you let us know plz we are all here for you. I'll try and reply before Thursday coz I've got surgery so won't be on for a while after. Hope it all goes well thinking of you. Hope the next yr is pain free for you
 
Thinkin about all these test and results I totally forgot about the blood test I taken a week ago. I do na see the doc til next month.
My garden has started becoming green...idk if that is a good thing anymore. It is jus become another thing I can na do. My water does na work out side my house for some reason. Meaning I must put water in a container and walk it out to my garden. Tried it today... my right foot got the feeling again. Soon after my hip(right side) began feeling sore. My wife bought more strawberries...I really wish she did na do that. More work for me. She made me water them and watched me while I did it?! I mean if she wanted em ...why can na she take care of em.
Story of my life...like hey lets make sic ol Floyd DO EVERYTHING!
My right side...last night I went to sleep fearing my foot was going to fold itself in cramps. Feeling like cramping ...pins n needles kinda pain lately...suks soo bad.
 
....even more importantly, don't be tempted to eat of them when they've grown... the small pips on the side will play havoc with you....next time you look at one, just imagine each and every pip scraping its way down inside....brrrrrrrr......shame I know, but anything that can be done to ease the comfort...lol
 
You have my sympathies about the garden :( I used to grown my own fruit and veg on an allotment but had to give it up cos of joint problems, I switched to growing some at home and enjoying my garden but now I look out the window and just see a space I can no longer spend hours in cos my knees, hip, lower back and right hand are too painful, it breaks my heart, even more so cos even if I could grow fruit and veg most of them I can't eat anymore, sometimes life sucks!!
 
I feel the same way. I used to love my garden, lots of rows of fresh veggies and working in the dirt! Now I can't really do that anymore because of my back, and even if I could, I couldn't eat the results. It sucks!
Native, I'm sorry to hear your wife didn't help you with the watering. Why would she buy the plants and then expect you to do all the work, doesn't she help you? Keep fighting, I hope you get some good news soon. :)
 
Hi nativesith,
You might want to look up some Vitamin info in the wiki. Low B12 can cause pins and needles and low magnesium can cause leg cramps. If it were vitamin deficiencies, the symptoms would usually be on both sides, though.

When I was ill, after I had been malnourished for so long, I developed severe disc protrusions in my spine because I lost so much of the muscle mass that supported my spine. The symptoms can be similar to what you describe. If you can't get a doctor to check it out for you easily and quickly, then try getting into a physical therapist. They could tell you if a disc protrusion is the cause and also begin treatment for it.

Hope the pain eases soon.
 
I used to love my allotment, I would go there on the way home from work, spend a couple of hours and then harvest whatever was ready and come home and cook it, I always worked dinner around what ever was ready to eat. I would make strawberry jam and I'm so sad I can't eat it anymore :(, I still have a few pots left from the last batch. I'm giving all my fruit trees and plants away to a good home but it still breaks my heart. I feel like my body has turned on me in that I can now no longer do my hobbies, apart from reading which I can do again since I got a kindle, I'm sort of lost for something to do to pass the time, feel like life is passing me by :(, sorry for being so dramatic.

Native....I'm sorry about your wife's insensitivity :( Hope things improve for you. :ghug:
 
No one is dramatic ere...I feel great sadness about our gardens. Ever since I was a child I wanted my own garden. I wanted a field of berries I could call my own. When I was a child I used to go out picking berries all day. End of the day I had pales which I would eat by the handful. I can na do that anymore. My body has turned on me. It is hard takin care of my dogs and my garden. Soo much work...and the garden I can even eat what I grow anymore.
I hate it...I had taken b12 and Vitamin D(Even the past few days) and I still get cold feeling and pins n needles(Woke up feeling cold). I woke up to a poop storm...lol. Do na know how to describe it any better.
I do ave a new kitty...she brightens me up...like right now. So fluffy:).
 
There are those wonderful animals again! Dogs and cats are so good at helping us feel good, aren't they? I know when I'm not feeling well a good snuggle with my dogs does wonders for me. I'm glad you can find some bright moments even when you're having a tough day.
 
Native, I know it feels a million miles away, but there is hope. A lot of people do get on top and in control of their bodies. I have met many people with crohns and/or colitis who have got on with their lives. I know of a successful children's TV presenter, a member of our parliament, a gastroenterologist, a managing director, a film producer, a international rock star.... All of them, never gave up. Their journeys were long, painful and lonely, but they overcame their issues.

If you want your garden and to eat your berries, then you can do that. Set yourself that goal, and don't stop til you taste the sweetness. I believe you can do this!!
 
... Even my weekly blood test girl.... She also has crohns, but she's managed remission... So she can do her vampire act on me.....
 
It was a really bad day.:(
2 to 3 hours after I woken up everything started to get bad. My wife began cooking. The smell of the food made me nauseous. I began feeling even colder than I was before. Tiredness came soon after. I felt like I was going to faint or collapse. I went to lay down and slept for four hours. Still feel kinda bad and sore. I have a feeling near my neck(right by collar bone)that has been a real discomfort.
I prey I receive a call about the small bowel flouroscopy...they HAD to see something.
Feels like I am dieing.
 
No call...damn.
I am thinking that episode was my heart. I feel like I was going to black out with a pain in my neck. I still feel a discomfort in my neck. I had pulled a neck muscle before...this feels different. My circulation seems really messed up, I can feel it.
Have to relax. The appointments and my money problems have been stressing me out. I was extremely tired for days, waking up early and fighting for sleep at night.
While I lied in bed I though I was trapped in a prison cell of pain that no one can let me put of.
I am 38 years old today. Thinking of a bit o Ice Cream cake( a cake made entirely of Ice Cream), but that really is for my family. But first I need to make a bit of cash.
Later everyone.
 
You know nativesith the year that I turned 38 was awful. My mom died from cancer, I was diagnosed with one form of cancer and I had surgery for a second suspected cancer (it wasn't cancer yet, just dysplastic tissue--lucky me!) I developed secondary problems from the surgery and then because some family members decided that I wasn't having enough misery then, they decided to treat me very badly. Because of all of the trauma in such a short time period, (on top of some incidents in childhood) I am certain that I developed PTSD. Only back then there was no name for what had happened to me and no treatment.

I haven't talked about this on the forum before, but I am now because I want you to know that things can improve--despite how bleak things seem to you now, they can get better.

It is many years later for me; back then I didn't think that I would still even be alive now. But I am. And I am thriving. I have many blessings in my life. The symptoms of PTSD rarely interfere in my life now, and I have even reconciled with the people who hurt me back then.

Don't lose hope. I am glad that you are going to celebrate your birthday, even if you are only doing it for your family's sake. May this year be the one where you begin to heal in body, mind and spirit. Many blessings to you on the occasion of your birthday.
 
Happy birthday nativesith, sending you the best possible wishes I can, hoping that 2013 is the year that brings you remission and peace. Life as we all know is challenging and at times makes you wonder why we bother but even in the darkest moments there will be a tiny light, it may be difficult to see, it could be the smell of the roses or a smile from a loved one? Or of course a kind word from your friends on the forum :). Take care and know you have support from your friends, God bless. :ghug::ghug:
 
happy (belated) birthday native. 38 was only almost 3 years ago for me, I don't remember that it was that eventful except for that it was the year my back took me out of work and I had to have surgery on it yet again! Look ahead to 40, maybe things will improve for you and you'll be looking back smiling on the bad year you made it through.
 
37 was the worst year of my life. I thought I was going to die more times than I can count. I went from 280 to damn near 150. I lost EVERYTHING, and made a ton of bills. It can only get better from here.
I do feel better today...that feelin in my neck is gone. But now I got a sore feeling in my left arm. But at least it is na my neck er back lol.
My college friend Renee is taking me out later to Edmonton. Trying to work my self up for that. Would na mind checkin out a casino. lol
Love ya guys/girls :).
 
Happy Birthday Nativesmith,
May God bless you this year with much better health and wholeness in every sense of the word. May he bless you and keep you,
may he make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you
and give you peace! Amen!:ghug:
 
I was jus thinkin about Heaven...
Ray Manzarek RIP. I was saddened learning of his death today(He passed away on May 20th). He was he greatest keyboard player EVER. Ray and John helped bring Jim and Robbie's words to life. One of the greatest idols of my life. I got kicked out of a theater when I was 16 watching "The Doors" movie in 91(for being naughty in the bathroom...will na go in to that lol). That was when I found them...
The Doors...greatest band EVER! Ray n Jim together again. :)
 
I don't know how many people here have read Stephen King, but he has a short story about Rock and Roll artists who have passed. It's kinda creepy (of course), involves a bunch of the famous passed-on stars living in this off-the-beaten-path town, forcing the citizens to attend a concert every night where they play their stuff for hours on end!
I'd hope the reality to be a bit better - all the old cronies hanging out, riffing and having a good time together. Rock concerts in heaven. :D
 
I was in a cold phase. Symptoms of a extreme head cold. Running nose, sneezing, aching all over with hot n cold feelings. I felt like I NEEDED a hot drink constantly...when I did na have one it got worse.
But...during that whole episode ...my stomach was better.
What next?
I feel a ache in my side.
I think this Pantoparozle is really helping. My stomach does na sound like thunder any more.
 
Symptoms of the extreme head cold are going away. Now the pain is beginning. Seems like even the proton pump can na help the stomach today. Tried eating a banana and became very nauseous. I bleed soo much last night. Hard night getting and staying asleep. Need to phone the doctor tomorrow. In case the GI wants any tests done.
:(
 
My equipment ,like my life, is fallin apart. Both my laptop and PC taken poos(O the irony!?). I did ...get em both back online. Least I still got my brain workin.
But I suppose it was good to think about all this.I have come to many realizations with my recent birthday. How could I forget I had a heart attack this time last year?! A heart attack that was bushed off as nothing. they sent me home doing and/or with nothing. Like ya you had a heart attack now go home.
ever since that day my life had gone to hell. My stomach my circulation. Now I have pin n needles with a pinchin feelin in my neck that comes n goes.
I really wish I could say I was better.:(
I am hopeful the next specialist visit reveals something.
It has to...round the middle of June.
 
Hopefully that darn PC didn't take a poop on you again and keep you offline. hope you're able to join us soon and keep us updated! thinking of you, hoping all is well.
 
My equipment...again. Well two days ago I bleed. Yesterday I felt extreme fatigue, soo bad I felt like doing NOTHING ...with hot/cold feelins all day. My left leg was soo sore, my foot felt like it wanted to cramp up all day. Feelin in my neck was going back n forth from right to left.
Freakin me out! Now I can eat more...but I am scared. Scared of this blood flow/heart condition. IDK if I should gain weight.
My whole lower body feels really messed up. It seems ..no matter what I do I am stuck in this cycle of sickness.
Two weeks until I see the Neurologist:(
 
The woman I call my wife...unhelpful, unsupportable and downright mean. Yesterday she noticed me limping round sneezing and blowing my nose constantly. You are always sick she stated. I did na say any anything...I thought You are always a ass. Later on, she said people she talks to are telling her to make me work. I asked her who are these people and why are you talking about me with them. She would na answer.
Then top of all dat, she harassed me for sex...then complained about it. I could na take it anymore...I stormed out of my room yelling.
No wonder my heart and blood flow is this bad.
It is her, she made me like this. Why me creator....all I ever wanted was what is right.
But she is na right for me...I know that now.:(
 
Hope you two manage to sort this out.... Thinking of you you don't need this from the person that is supposed to support and love you.
 
I can't even imagine not having the support of my husband. It makes all the difference in the world, in every circumstance, he defends me, uplifts me and helps me when he can. God said let a woman be your help meet. In other words, your right arm and best friend.:ghug: In times like these, you need your friend so much. Praying the Creator shows her how wrong she has been.
 
Exactly! I wouldn't make it without the support of my husband either. He's so supportive and helpful and never complains about any of my medical problems and the complications they add to our lives - he just feels bad for me with all of them. I hope that native's wife figures out how important a solid relationship is and that "for better or worse" really does mean you keep going and being a good wife even when times get tough.
 
I tried going for a walk the other day. Jus tried going to my special place.
My legs(My feet,back,knees,ankles)...I felt like was going to collapse on the road. That was two days ago...I am jus now gettin over that. It was na very far...
I could only walk a minute before needing to stop and rest.
When I got home...I took a hot bath. It seemed like I was taking a bath in my own tears. I cried soo much that night.
Gettin a feelin like the top of my stomach has a lot of pressure that comes n goes.
All of this has really effected my appetite in a negative way.:(
Arteritus is getting soo bad. That was a eye opener. The more I move round...the more the arterius pain increases. I could barley move round the past couple days.
Dr. Warner wanted me to try go for a walk.
 
It does...that day OMG. I felt REALLY bad. I used to be able to walk that far with no problems.
I feel handicapped. There is a celebration on my reserve today. It is like 2-3 mins away...but.
I am afraid to go...I do na want anyone seeing me hobble round er stoppin to rest on a 2 minute walk. I feel like a baby.:(
Whole rez is practically partying in my back yard...but I am stuck ere.
My wife n kids went without me.
I thank the Creator for my Uncle who is keeping a eye on me.
 
Sorry to hear things are so bad right now Floyd.
sending hugs and prayers. Remember you are not alone. The Lord is with you and we all care about you!!!!
 
My legs...everyday I awake feelin like I was liftin wieghts. My legs are sore on a daily basis. Exercising em makes it worse. I can exercise my upper body. But some days even that is hard. I started violently sneezing when I woke and hurt my back really bad.
I have a routine for my stomach that has been working really well.
About a week to go til the neurologist.
 
nativesith said:
My legs...everyday I awake feelin like I was liftin wieghts. My legs are sore on a daily basis. Exercising em makes it worse. I can exercise my upper body. But some days even that is hard. I started violently sneezing when I woke and hurt my back really bad.
I have a routine for my stomach that has been working really well.
About a week to go til the neurologist.
Click to expand...

I waas just reading about lack of B12 causing severe leg cramps and pains. I have been having problems so I got B12 shots and I have to tell you, it has definately helped!!! Is there anyway you can get these???:ghug:Or they now sellb12 sublingal that melt under your tongue you could try.
 
Damn it I have no way of making any appointments next week. IDK how to do any of this anymore. I have no money no job and no fuking health to fall back on.
Really want to die. I want this to end.
I woke up in great pain...my stomach. It was better for about three weeks.
Now it feels the same as it did before. Left side is in wicked pain...no appetite, Cold, Legs feel bad.
I did re schedule the neurologist appt for a week later, when I can actually make it.
I do na even have the money to be sick. I can na make appts to locations 100's of kms away. Jus about lost all my tech stuff now...I do na have much left.
Soo upset I had to re schedule....and the fact I had to take pain killers today.
This is gettin worse and Idk how to stop it all.
 
Last edited:
Since Father's Day is on Sunday...the band put up a lil father's day dinner today.
I hobbled over there to see if I could win a prize to help brighten my day.
That did not brighten my day. When I got there they began speaking about almost everything I have been going through. Stomach problems...polyps,cancer, pain, weight loss, stool tests, colonoscopies! All I heard was laughter...I sat there while the whole room laughed. I could na take it...I walked out. My brothers think EVERYTHING I ave been through is a big fukin joke. This is NOT FUNNY! BASTARDS!
They all thought is was soo hysterical to have a camera put into a rectum. I have to go through that again soon, and I had to hear that?!
They do not know about the levels of pain...or how it destroys a life.
 

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