• Welcome to Crohn's Forum, a support group for people with all forms of IBD. While this community is not a substitute for doctor's advice and we cannot treat or diagnose, we find being able to communicate with others who have IBD is invaluable as we navigate our struggles and celebrate our successes. We invite you to join us.

You might have Crohns if…

Your GP tells you that you are farting into your bladder ( fistula ) and you both proceed to giggle uncontrollably. Ah well, if you don't laugh, you cry :rof:
People at work are thinking that you have an eating disorder.
You are afraid to stay in hotel rooms with anyone other than your immediate family
^^definitely both of these!

-You can go to bed/sleep at any time of the day.

-You think there's something wrong when you DON'T poop more than twice in a day

-You mentally take note of where toilets are everywhere you go, just out of habit

-You can have 'moonface' but still have a skinny body

-Your diet is to put on weight, not lose it

-You can look pregnant after eating a meal

-You sleep with a hot water bottle even in summer

-You can drink barium/MRI prep in record time

-Your stomach talks more than you do

-The idea of sharing a bathroom freaks you out

Brilliant thread :)
..12 hours sleep isn't enough
...You keep/have kept a poop diary
...Ensure has become one of your main food groups
Wow, I'm guilty of 90 percent of these. My favorite is planning bathroom stops along my route before I go somewhere.
hi BC, I am guilty of sleeping more than 12 hrs. if I am having "one of those days". lol

you might have Crohn's if you can clear a room in less than 3 seconds
Wow so many of these are funny (and sad) because they are just so very true. Here are a few more...
You might have Crohn's if...
*you have fallen asleep on the toliet (sometimes at work and it doesn't seem unusual anymore)
*consider running cable to your bathroom so you quit missing all your shows
*you move to a new place and the first room you decorate is the bathroom
*you get excited when Charmin's on sale and buy enough to fill your entire hallway closet
You might have Crohn's if...
When you have a normal poo you want to frame it over the couch.
You have no sense of privacy *down there* anymore.
You keep a novel in you bathroom instead of magazines.
You get ticked off at people who have thin toilet paper(AKA butt-tissue paper).
An iv is about as eventful as taking your temperature.
You can take medicine with both ends(at the same time= bonus!)
You go to the toilet more than five times a day

You get excited when you only have to flush once to get it all down

You know where all the public bathrooms are within 5 miles of home

And you have rated them

You look forward to a colonoscopy because it means just a few more visits than normal to the toilet during prep and no visits to the toilet for at least a day after the procedure

Your coworkers (if you still have a job) aren’t sure if your office is in the toilet or not

You have a list of too many foods to count that you can’t eat anymore

You have a list of too many meds to count you are taking or have taken

Please add more...
if its all in your head why does my butt hurt
You might have Crohn's if people who stop you when you're clearly on your way to the bathroom (especially people who know you have Crohn's) make you absolutely crazy! :voodoo:


This is where practicing those linebacker skills from long ago help diesanduhr!!

You might have crohns if....you just do your spring housecleaning in mid July!!!
Oi veh I'm knackered!
This is where practicing those linebacker skills from long ago help diesanduhr!!
Bahaha! I would hip* check them but it might cause an accident...

*You might have Crohn's if you have to stop typing and run to the bathroom in the middle of writing your response to this thread. :yfaint:


*You might have Crohn's if you have to stop typing and run to the bathroom in the middle of writing your response to this thread.

Oh yeah. I am so glad I got an I phone 4 I can take to the loo in anticipation of my someday reversal..

The loo has permanent imprints of my ass. :rof: But, since Stan he only see's me occasionaly. But it's like settling in to a nice old armchair with our body imprint on it. Innit??
You might have Crohn's if your family scatters when they hear your feet hit the floor in your bedroom and start running to the bathroom on the other side of the house. They know they will either get knocked down by elbows or by the smell. And, since I am always the first one to bed, and the last one up, everyone is awake to see my daily run and cheer me on!
* you did a victory dance in the bathroom for the first solid, fat poo in months
* it takes half an hour to count out and fill your pill box for the week


You weigh 135 pounds today, and 100 pounds tomorrow.

You write in your journal about the consistency of your poo.

Your cell phone is used as an alarm/reminder for medication times.

Everyone in the house knows that the bathroom really only belongs to you, and they better get the heck out of your way right when you say so!

You use the toilet 3 times during one post on CF.

No insurance company is willing to cover you.

You're extremely skinny with a huge chubby face. (Thank you Prednisone.)

You have more in common with the elderly than with people your own age. (Arthritis? Cool! Me too!)

Your date night with your hubby is a 2 hour movie at the infusion center.
You weigh 135 pounds today, and 100 pounds tomorrow.
LOL! Yes! People with IBD can lose 20 lbs in 2 days, and hardly blink an eye about it.

*You not only do a victory dance at a huge, formed fat poo, but you tell everyone you know about it. For days.

*You find yourself at family gatherings talking with the older folks about operations and pills, while everyone else your age is watching t.v. and drinking beer.
This is more of a "you may have been on prednisone if... thread, but generally if you were ever on pred, you have crohns. So I'll leave the beginning part the same. You get it haha

You may have crohns if you have "lowered" yourself to buying maternity clothes just for the sheer comfort and to hide your swollen belly after eating a piece of bread.

If you have gotten so sick of strangers staring at your massive gut, and having to explaining your illness and medications, that you are now "public pregnant" and have no problem reaping the benefits. This is a fun game me and my parents like to play when we go out. Also, one of my dad's favourite new pastimes is pushing his sickly daughter in a wheelchair during outings. I must say, it's awesome.

If you've looked up "contouring tricks" online to make your face look slimmer. It just makes me look like a chola, or like I have a really stupid sunburn.

If people are always asking if you've been crying, because even your eyelids have swollen from the pred.

If you can see your ribs, spine, hip bones and collarbones sticking out like they are trying to escape, yet you still look about 20 pounds overweight when clothed. WTF. A little proportion would be nice.

If you lie awake at night, exhausted, but can't stop thinking about how bad you want another cookie, and a mcdonalds hamburger at the same time. Until you finally crawl out of bed and eat two bowls of cereal.

You just finished eating an entire box of kraft dinner and a glass of juice. 20 minutes later, you're back in the kitchen making a can of soup and a sandwhich. But hey, it's not you, it's the medication. RIGHT?!

Ok I'm done haha. Clearly I'm feeling very bitter about a certain little white pill right now. On the plus side, I'm getting a pretty good idea of what it's going to be like to be pregnant. So is my boyfriend. I think he's rethinking our relationship hahahahahahahaha
Samantha, when I was on high doses of pred, I would eat anything and make full meals for snacks, not just cause I was hungry. I had so much manic energy I would cook just so I could clean up the kitchen. I hated the insomnia more than the constant hunger!

*You might have Crohn's if you can expel fluids from every orifice at a time, faster than a newborn.
You might have Crohn's Disease if (and yes this is personal experience) you are a new mom with an infant and the nearest bathroom in your house is being used and you can not make it downstairs to the other bathroom so you go in the babies room and open the diaper genie and poo in it.....

You stay in the area of the store that is near the restroom and shop even though what you really want is at the other end of the store all because you are to scared to adventure to other parts of the store because it will take to long to get to the restroom an you just can not take that risk in a store you frequent....

You and your daugther can laugh at the fact that you have actually crapped your pants trying to make it to the restroom at Target.....

You just about cry when you end up at a stop light or you have ran a stop llight all in the name of Crohns

You mother calls you and says we got a speeding ticket in the mail and you explain of that must have been when I was trying to get to the McDonald's restroom, so your mother pays the ticket for you....

You have actually looked at the woods along your trip to work and mapped out where the best place you should pull over just in case you need to....

Throwing away your underwear has just become a regular routine.....

You walk or run to the restroom in the middle of conversations with your friends.....

You tell your daughter the next time I am in the public restroom at the dog park for a long time please come check on me and bring me my emergancy clothing out of the trunk with you....

You go the restroom more times at the dog park than your dog....

Your are having a bad flare and hospitalized but are to scared to sleep because you might poop yourself....

Running late for morning staff meetings because you are int he restroom praying you will be able to leave soon and you have to have your GI write a letter to your employer explaining why you are late to staff meetings in the mornings and asking them to excuse you form being late and asking them to allow you to start work an hour later than the normal schedule..Not to mention the missed job interviews

Your paid leave time is always exhausted due to having Crohn's days and not vacation...

You are scared to use the public pool just in case you have a Crohn's moment

You are actually jealous of people who are constipated because your butt/anus could use a break...
Throwing away underwear....when I was in hospital earlier this month hubby brought me 4 pair of socks and 2 pair of underwear. I had to call him, in a four day stay, I ended up needing about 7 pair. Most are gone now. :(
When you can read all these posts and laugh because you can relate to them! Especially the makeshift toilets in the car ones lol
You know you have crohns when you walk up to your supervisor and tell him "I have to go home because "ya'll" buy CHEAP toilet paper".:lol2:
You know you have (perianal) crohn's when you've literally lost count of the number of medical staff that have seen your butt hole and the number of people you don't know who have had their finger up your butt without so much as buying you dinner is just embarrassing.

Crohn's Mom

You have more in common with the elderly than with people your own age. (Arthritis? Cool! Me too!)
:ylol: Gab and her grandpa used to sit and compare how many pills they take, and who takes more. Gab always won! And then they'd talk about their arthritis pains and doctor's appointments each week. :ylol:
Good stuff

You know how many tiles are on your floor, ceiling, and walls.

You know how many tiles it takes for your feet to fit perfectly inside them.

You've read every bottle in your your bathroom, three times over. AND you wonder why you don't get paid to write those things by now.

You have an "oh shit" handle in your bathroom for when times get scary
These made me laugh very loud, thank you.


Super Moderator
When you visit your GI you are the youngest person in the waiting room. Not only that but the waiting room that has the largest sign you have ever showing the direction to the toilets. The sign beneath it sign says to ask for blanket if you are cold and take it to the toilet with you if you think you may be in there for a while! :ybiggrin:

Dusty. xxx
You know you've got it when the kids have to have a bath in less than 10 mins..just in case you need the loo just one more time.lol.
When you daren't break wind in case you've followed through.


You might have Crohn's if you haven't realized that your legs have gone numb from the toilet seat and stagger all over the place until feeling returns.

You calm down patients twice your age about their first colonoscopy.

You wonder why your colorectal surgeon has chairs in his waiting room, err dungeon of torture.
You might have Crohn's if you bought a memory foam rug for your bathroom so you can sleep in there.

You might have Crohn's if your husband doesn't even notice when your gone for 20 minutes in the loo.

You might have Crohn's if talking about poo is not weird at all.

You might have Crohn's if you have lost 40 pounds but keep those old clothes anf still wear them on bloated days.

You might have Crohn's if you are only 21 and your medicine cabinet looks like it belongs to your Grandma.

You might have Crohn's if your husband says your full of shi* and you really are.

You might have Crohn's if you wake up and have to change you panties because you sweated through your others.

You might have Crohn's if you considered just wearing a shirt around the house so you wouldn't have to pull your pants down every two minutes.

You might have Crohn's if wiping your arse makes you need to poo.

You might have Crohn's if you buy Desitin cream and have no babies.

You might have Crohn's if you wear a pad even though you don't have your period.

You might have Crohn's if your dog gets scared by the noises your gut makes.

You might have Crohn's if no one in your family even notices the smell anymore.

You might have Crohn's if you can laugh about these 15 pages of 'shitty' jokes!!!
When you have diaper rash worse than your 4 month old niece. ;)

And I'm jealous of everyone who gets a break in toilet visits after a colonoscopy. I swear, I ate dinner afterward, and was back on the toilet less than an hour after getting home from the hospital. Ridiculous.
Yep, me too!!!
You might have Crohn's if....

1. When you were 25 you got a 4 week all expenses paid vacation (insurance ftw) at a semi-local assisted living center where you were the youngest patient by 30+ years.

2. You have had to keep a med journal because your nurses didn't like having to do their jobs.

3. Your hospital decided to send you a "Statement" for the past 3 months of services that totaled up to more then my houses inflated mortgage is probably worth.

4. You have seriously considered setting up a TV in your bathroom.

5. You have actually fallen asleep on the toilet.

6. Your bosses boss reprimanded you because you had a flare up during an important meeting.

7. You have added certain foods to your no-no list because of how they look when they come out. (Onions and Sesame Seeds)

Thank you everyone for this thread, I needed a good laugh.
...if your cholesterol is too high from eating too much starchy food, and laugh when the nurse suggests a "change of diet".

...if you read through an entire magazine each day, only keeping it in the bathroom (including the Ikea catalog).

...if your significant other can remember the last time you had radiological tests better than you can (they all just blur together).

...if your significant other knows that mashed potatoes can make you do a jig even when you're doubled over in pain.

...if your cats run out of the bathroom before you can close the door.

...if you explain to your mother-in-law about the side effects of the medication her older sister is taking.

...everyday your significant other asks you how your belly is doing before asking how your day was.


You might have crohns if you can go quite awhile at home without having to go to the bathroom but then the second you go to leave the house its like youre going to explode.

You might have crohns if you always call "first one in the bathroom" while walking up your driveway.

And for us with abscesses/fistulas...
You might have an abscess/fistula if the suspension on your car was one of the deciding factors.

You might have an abscess/fistula if you avoid certain streets because you know there's a bad bump coming up LOL
You have been on the porcelain throne 3 times before even leaving your home in the morning.

You have taken a dump on every island, islet and rock while farting about in your RIB near your home.

You break into convulsive luaghter when the idea briefly crosses your mind that "what the heck, I'll go commando" becouse you are out of clean underwear.

You have the scar telling the world your appendix has been removed....but it's still there.

Your wounded war veteran friend is impressed by your belly scars.

Your family, friends and colleagues knows to get the heck out of da way when you are headed for the rest room.
You start to wonder if you will ever finish your shower because you've gotten out four times already to run to the toilet.
You marvel at how your spouse can have one BM same time each day and be done with it, as for you, it's often 5 trips to the bathroom in the space of 30 minutes and involves 15 toilet flushes.


You might have Crohn's if....
1- people you don't know hand you a granola bar or some candies during the finals cause you made the mistake of drinking a coffee and now your system is growling so loud it's distracting them.
2- you teach your nurse friends how to deal with stoma care.
3 - you are the only one in her 20s waiting for the abdominal Ct-Scan and that people seems to wonder what the hell you are doing there.
4 - your teacher congratulates you when you tell them you have to miss a class cause you are schedule for an ultra-sound... (no unfortunately I am not pregnant, I just might have a fistula!)
5- you feel the need to tell your friends to stay away from you when they have the flu and to please not cough there lungs on your tables just to be sure you won't have to skip your next injection.
6- the old lady in the walk-in clinic talks to you as if you did not know what to be sick was like, cause you are young and lucky... (Yeah right, my hospital bill is probably twice yours...)
7 - when a wine and cheese event do seems like a great idea but, oh wait... you are now eating dairy and gluten free so... you doubt tofu and rice cracker will really do the trick...
Bumping... This is the thread that lead me to Crohnsforum so I always try to bump every now and again. I'm so thankful for it...... Shannon
I've been laughing so hard since I started reading this thread last night! I have colitis, but so many of these are true for me. I've gotten to the point that, even though I'm doing good right now, I know I have the choice of laughing or crying when I'm not. Laughing almost always wins! It's good to know I'm not alone in finding the humor in all this. I just wanted to add,

.....if your spouse/significant other tells the kids you aren't feeling well and they start talking about how to avoid the bathroom for the rest of the day!
You know you have Crohns when you buy panty liners to put at the back of your undies, just in case, but don't use them for their designated purpose.
LOL you have no idea how relieved I am to see this. Srsly thought I was the only person to do this.


Staff member
You know you have Crohn's when you have to remind yourself that you're sitting on the toilet and its ok to "go" there.

A lot of times I'd get really tired and would freak out when I realized I was pooping. Been holding it for so long sometimes cause the place I was at wasn't an ok place to "go" yet. :p


Super Moderator
When you look at food your about to eat and wonder if it will look like in 5 minutes when you go to the bathroom

When you tell everyone around you that you had a solid poop (its exciting!!!)
When you know how to read your CT scan, test results

When you tell you're doctor what is the best treatment plan for you and it's the right one

When not going to the toilet for a day means there is something wrong and freaks you out

When you can't keep a job more than 3 months

When not normal things to most people sound very normal to you

When you stop noticing you have pain

When you check your poop every time you go

When you look between your legs while pooping and it splashes on your face :p


Super Moderator
When you know how to read your CT scan, test results

When you tell you're doctor what is the best treatment plan for you and it's the right one

When not going to the toilet for a day means there is something wrong and freaks you out

When you can't keep a job more than 3 months

When not normal things to most people sound very normal to you

When you stop noticing you have pain

When you check your poop every time you go

When you look between your legs while pooping and it splashes on your face :p
Hahaha! All very true! :ylol:
Oh my gosh I had forgotten about this thread.

You may have Crohns if your grandkids buy you a yellow yield sign to hang in your vehicle window that says " I'm only speeding cuz I gotta poop."

It hangs in the back window of my truck. lol
You may have Crohns when your friends nickname you poopypants.

You may have Crohns when your friends buy you Depends for Christmas. And your glad.

You may have Crohns if you try to figure out what song your stomach is grumbling.
You may have Crohns if you complain more about the price of TP then you do the price of gas.

You may have Crohns if you look in the toilet and think "How can I use that to fuel my car."
...most of your facebook posts are made on the toilet.

...everybody at the pharmacy greets you by name before you say anything.

...and they don't need to ask you if you are familiar with the side-effects of your medication, because they recall giving it to you so many times already.

...you carry a purse whenever you leave the house, and you're male.

...you have cravings for salad, and you're not a vegetarian.
... you hate going to the movies because you can't have popcorn!

... people complaining about having their blood drawn is funny to you. (seriously though when my friends complain about things like that I want to laugh in their faces!)

... you always check the color of your poop...

... the smell of gatorade makes you want to puke.


Super Moderator
...your on this forum more than facebook
...you forget your not on the forum and start telling facebook about your poop
- you struggle when visiting home because there's only one bathroom, I truly appreciate my uni en-suite at those times.
- when moving into uni accommodation, you were genuinely happy there was a plug socket close enough to the bathroom for your laptop cable!
- you have submitted more than one assignment from the bathroom.
- 9/10 times the post is for you with it's NHS postmark proudly in the corner.

:) I love this thread! x
You know you have Crohns when..

You take your laptop in the bathroom with you so you can finish an essay for class.
You cant finish a meal without having to run to the toilet.
Your boyfriend learns everything he can to help make you feel better.
He knows not to squeeze to tight, or bad things can happen. :p
You know you have crohns when you leave the house and get down the road and have to make a u-turn and speed hoping to make it back. Even though you felt just fine before you left.
You know you had Crohns when you have a bathroom emergency no matter how bad you have to go once you get to the public bathroom you have to wait a movement before you get out of the car so you can act like its not an emergency in front of other people. But you only have a few seconds before the next wave of cramps come that make you look like Frankenstein.
When you envolve your children in your bathroom emergencies. There have been many times that we have been out and almost home when I have gotten the sudden urge to go and have to tell my girls to roll up the windows, put my phone in my purse, grab my purse, open the garage door and close the garage door once we get inside because once we get home I have 2 seconds to shut off the engine a run like hell to the bathroom. I need a clear shot!!!theyve got it down now all I have to say is when we get home I have to go. They know the routine.
You have "courtesy flushed" and have the toilet clog and the water in the toilet fills up and touches your behind. That's the worst.
When youre not disabled but you choose to use the disabled toilet cause it has the "power squeeze bars"

Or you have been overheard to say " I don't remember eating that"
I saw a bumper sticker we all need that read "I'm speeding because I have to poop!"

Currently taking Humira 40 mg weekly and Azathioprine 150mg daily.

Crohn's Dx June 2011, primarily in the TI some in the colon.

Past meds: Entocort, prednisone and Pentasa.
You might have Crohn's if you shop at Costco specifically for their bulk package of flushable wet wipes.

You may have Crohn's if you gave up your dream job just to work at a place that would cover up all of your symptoms...it's louder than your stomach growling and already smells like someone farted.
If you go for a walk but only go one block, and then return home run/walking with your but cheeks clenched!

If when you fart, the cat leaves the room gagging.
I love the toilet paper storage ones - maybe they should use this as a diagnostic tool...'And when did you consider putting in further toilet paper storage?...Can you imagine your gastro asking you?
You know you have Crohns when they ask you what you did over weekend and you answer:

"We went to the beach, the toilets of the beach bar were awfull ew, but then at the restaurant they had some awesome toilets with lots of paper and clean. Then on Sunday we went to the mall OMG those toilets they even have music so no one hears the sounds, but at the concert that night I had to scream I HAVE CROHNS to get at the head of the line in the toilets and they were already out of paper so I had to use some tissues from my bag..."


Forum Monitor
When the stall has no toilet paper resulting in a letter writing campaign to the CEO of the company.
You wonder why there isn't a fitting room when checking out new toilet seats...

You judge people by their toilet paper and complement them when its nice and soft.

You decide which restaurant you want to go out to by the quality and cleanliness of their bathrooms.