If your spouse has ever had to stop in the midst of urinating so that you could use the only working toilet
I admit it..... - they make great last-minute pee pads for a child too...umm..yeah...that is what I got mine for! lol... You stole a couple bed pads from the hospital for your bed at home.
:lol2::lol2::lol2:See, that's what I expected them to say. Of course, it may have been better if I had waiting until they finished lunch. lol
I've used two different OUTHOUSES this summer...and said they weren't that bad. This from the girl who, a year prior to Crohn's, dropped out of dragonboating in part because the park didn't have proper washrooms, only outhouses.Truck stop bathrooms don't phase you anymore.
LOL! I'm with ya on this one!Truck stop bathrooms don't phase you anymore.
I like that one!!LOL! I'm with ya on this one!
You might have Crohn's if you know EVERY exit between your house and your parent's house 3 hours away, which ones have the best bathrooms and which ones have good restaurants where there's at least two things on the menu you can eat....
Bahaaa, that is funny! One for Silvermoon!!!!:kello:...You go to see your doctor, and when the nurse asks you to remove your pants and undies, you do so, ....and automatically stick your arse in the air, waiting for the inevitable...
wink: @ Joan)
If 1/3 of your grocery cart is toilet paper.
...And the other 2/3 is:
Ensure chocolate x 3
Boost mocha x 1, just to mix things up a bit
Ginger caplets (thanks to Penny)
Tylenol with codeine
Cottonelle moist wipes (and an extra package to take to work)
Watermelon (thanks to Penny)
I've just peed myself laughing so hard!:biggrin:If you wear only black and brown pants.
It is an emergency if there are only three rolls of toilet paper in the house.
If 1/3 of your grocery cart is toilet paper.
If you not only know all the colors of poop but what they mean.
If you have ever had a conversation about poop in public and were not embarrassed.
If you have ever shyted your pants in public.
If your wife knows not to touch your belly.
If you fear hugs of children shorter than 3 feet.
If you have ever been on the toilet so long you can't stand up.
If you get excited about an inch of semi-solid poop.
If you ever looked in a toilet and saw somebody else's poop and felt jealous about how nice it looked.
If you know how many squares of tiles are in the bathroom.
If you know every toilet in the tri-county area.
If you have rated every toilet in the tri-county area.
If you are not ashamed using the woman's restroom.
If you have ever drove 100 mph to the next exit before you shyted yourself.
If you are deathly afraid to fart.
If your do not eat list is 2 pages long.
If you have given up more foods than are available at the restaurant you are at offers.
If it has been years since you drank a pop.
If on a two hour date she sat at the table alone for 45 min. while you were in the can.
If you read everything looking to see if it has apple juice or caffeine.
If you buy Imodium AD in the large bottle.
If you put in a shower on a hose so you could rinse and poop at the same time.
If when you hear the word sex and you can only think of the song "Precious Memories."
If you put an outlet next to the toilet so you can use the laptop.
If your dog has ever run out of the bathroom.
If you have ever scared the guy in the other stall.
If you have ever used your sock to clean up.
If your butt has hurt so long you only notice when it stops.
If you time how long it takes the food to move through your system.
If you cheer a meal that stays in longer than a few hours.
If friends stop inviting you over for dinner because they can't keep up with what you can't eat.
If your left side always hurts.
If a good sleep is 4 hours before a bathroom trip.
If you will do what ever it takes to NOT bend over.
If you have shyted because of your seatbelt.
If you pooped your pants cause you bent over.
If you start the day wearing 34 inch pants and end in a 38.
If it takes two hands to count the jobs you lost because of toilet time.
If you only go to places with public toilets.
If there is a 3 roll rule for the back of the toilet.
If you you massage your belly so nothing gets stuck.
LOL I love this section it hurts my belly but it is nice to know I am not alone.
LOL.. I'm a newbie.. and can so relate to that.. I've actually reached the point of it not being uncomfortably awkward anymore.. .. ha ha.. and no more.. you want me to do what??...You go to see your doctor, and when the nurse asks you to remove your pants and undies, you do so, ....and automatically stick your arse in the air, waiting for the inevitable...
wink: @ Joan)
Yup! :lol2:You have taken your laptop into the bathroom cause you know its gonna be a long stay and you cant miss out on the shenanigans on CF!!
oh wow, that's so true!! :ylol:....when your family sees you making a mad dash to the john and yells out."DON"T Forget TO TURN THE FAN ON".
.....You know which spray deodorizers really deodorize, or just make your bathroom spell like you crapped in a flower bed.
(once i finally go through all and comments, i'm going to combine them all into one post, and delete the extras, so there's only one post from me. lol)When the Radiologist says "your stricture is only 6 inches long" and you want to hug him 'cause you know it hasn't gotten worse in two years and that means no surgery for now!!!
When you get the above mentioned news but there is no solution for the continued cramps, constipation, diarrhea or bloating
When your husband comes with you to the hospital and puts the sheet over your head like you are dead just as the radiologist is walking in - at least the Doc. laughed
When you are up all night AGAIN and think you should install a toilet right next to the bed so you could just hang your bare ass over the side...
This is one of the reasons I asked for a Kindle as a gift...I dont know how many times my roomate has raised her eyebrow at me going in to the bathroom with my laptop in one arm, and my clock and meds in the other. :ylol: I was wondering if anyone else might of done this. I don't feel so weird now. lol!