You might have Crohns if…

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You might have Crohns if…

You go to the toilet more than five times a day

You get excited when you only have to flush once to get it all down

You know where all the public bathrooms are within 5 miles of home

And you have rated them

You look forward to a colonoscopy because it means just a few more visits than normal to the toilet during prep and no visits to the toilet for at least a day after the procedure

Your coworkers (if you still have a job) aren’t sure if your office is in the toilet or not

You have a list of too many foods to count that you can’t eat anymore

You have a list of too many meds to count you are taking or have taken

Please add more...
 
LOL! Those are great!

You can go through a roll of toilet paper in less than a day.

You have used the side of the road as a bathroom

You carry toilet paper in the car with you for above reason.
 
You carry a spare pair of undies (Pirate uses shorts lol) in your car.

You steal your childs babywipes.

You fart and no one notices anymore lol.
 
You always have the following on hand: toilet paper, paper towels, baby wipes/fresh wipes, and air freshener. Yup, I keep all of those in my bag.
 
You have taken your laptop into the bathroom cause you know its gonna be a long stay and you cant miss out on the shenanigans on CF!! :p
 
The skin tag on your anus got so big you named it 'Wilbur"

You get really impressed by how easy and well your children poop.

You can never be sure if the fart smell was you or someone else.

The last time you wore a g-string it was like a torture.

You have 2 sizes in your wardrobe size 'flaring' and size 'not flaring' ( I guess thats if your lucky and have non flaring times).

You join a forum that discusses poop in great length (and you love it!)
 
Good ones razz....My hubby always asks why I don't wear thongs anymore...I'm glad I'm not alone.....And the Prednisone size clothes too!
 
You know you have Crohns when the prednisone makes you grow a beard - and you are a woman.

You know you have Crohn's when poop becomes one of the main focuses of your life.

You know you have Crohn's when you are scared to fart, just in case.

You know you have Crohn's when sometimes a trip to the toilet feels like giving birth.
 
i thought i was the only one that couldn't wear thongs anymore! I had to go buy all new underwear, and find some that DIDN'T wedge, which was hard to do, because any form of wedgie hurts sooooo bad! Half the time around home i just wear long nighties and no undies if i'm not having a really bad D day, because they're so uncomfy.

You know you have Crohns when your husband says "more butt stuff" when you go the pharmacy.

you know you have Crohns when you get a bigger purse for your "crohnie" stuff, such as fresh undies, wipes, calmo

you know you have Crohns when you have to turn up the TV because your guy is so noisy.

You know you have Crohns when you buy panty liners to put at the back of your undies, just in case, but don't use them for their designated purpose.
 
You know you have Crohns if you spend more on toilet paper than you do food

You know you have Crohns when your best friends are on CF

You know you have Crohns if you've add a new bathroom to your house 5 ft from your bed

You know you have Crohns if you have 4 complete sets of clothes in your closet that are 3 differant sizes per set

You know you have Crohns if you've ever seriously thought about carrying a corn cob with you.
 
when you actually consider buying nut flour

There are three rolls of toilet paper stacked on the back of the toilet so you never run out

While on a long drive you find you need to stop for a bio-break more often than your wife!
 
You know you have crohns when you decide to wear an adult nappy for a special night out...

When the last time you got out the sewing machine it was to
make a water proof yet absorbant washable removable cover for your car seat - yes I did...

When you get excited about having a commode delivered to your house!

When the Dr's receptionist recognises your voice on the phone and asks you how you are doing before you introduced yourself...

When you get invited to a wedding and there is a note in the invite letting you know the bride and groom gave arranged for a toilet to be reserved for your exclusive use!

When the pharmacist has pound/dollar signs in his eyes as soon as you walk in the store...

When you've installed a program on your phone that sat navs you to the nearest walking (100 mtr dash) distance toilet.. Best thing I ever bought...

When, despite being a connoiseur of the public convenience, you actually have no shame, and have in desperation ended up with other peoples urine or poo on your clothes/skin because in fact you will poo anywhere, no matter how disgusting the facility...

When if you get asked how you are, the safest response ( and the only one the enquirer really wants to hear) is a tight lipped "fine", rather than a detailed recount of how you have been squirting through the eye of a needle for two days and your ring piece is on fire....

When you high-five with your husband after doing a genuine windy fart in bed.
.. as opposed to the squelch followed by a red faced scramble outta there...

When you have lots of ideas for a thread like this!
 
When you have diaper rash worse than your 4 month old niece. ;)

And I'm jealous of everyone who gets a break in toilet visits after a colonoscopy. I swear, I ate dinner afterward, and was back on the toilet less than an hour after getting home from the hospital. Ridiculous.
 
When you eat something and immediately think "Oh God...."
When you clean your bathroom beautifully and then promptly destroy your toilet.....
When you have had to poop in the shower.....
When you go out anywhere and think I hope I don't have to use that.....
If you've ever laughed so hard you've crapped yourself and didn't care.... You might have Crohn's.
 
If you have almost flooded the bathroom trying to get out of the bath and to the toilet before you poop in the tub.
When you have to skip family gatherings because there's only one bathroom, and you just can take the risk that it won't be available when you need it.
 
You keep a tube of Calmoseptine in your purse, in your bathroom, and one extra in the closet just in case.
You wear a pantiliner even when you don't have your period.
You can fart out a different hole.
You have post-traumatic-crap-your-pants-in-public disorder (PTCYPIPD), and are never going to get over it.
You take more pills than your grandma.
You're the only one at the movie theater who isn't eating popcorn.
You feel like crap, weigh next to nothing, yet people say "Oo, you look so good!"
You have to drive to the park instead of walk/ride bikes.
You have an actual toilet in the back of your minivan, and have used it several times.
You've had your ass-cheeks taped apart right before a surgery, and you couldn't wait to tell your CF friends that detail.

And a slightly different one, but still true - you might have Crohn's if you are in remission and have a completely new outlook on life. I am so thankful and appreciative for every day that I feel good now.
 
My Butt Hurts said:
You can fart out a different hole.
Click to expand...

OMG, I know this is so horrible for people but it must be in your delivery Jill, made me laugh a lot :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:
 
My Butt Hurts said:
You take more pills than your grandma.
You're the only one at the movie theater who isn't eating popcorn.
Click to expand...
I love these two!

My grandma and I were actually comparing pill boxes!

I just went to see Extraordinary Measures today and was one of the only people in theater not munching on popcorn.
 
When there is a storm coming, you check to make sure you have enough toilet paper BEFORE you check for milk, bread, and eggs.

You have the dietary range of an 85 year old woman.

You are so proud when a fart really comes out as a fart.

When normal people complain about a routine colonoscopy you say "its really not that bad as long as you prep with Miralax" and they have NO CLUE what you are talking about OR they are more horrified.

You have to clean the potty as often as you shower.

You've used a wide range of air fresheners, candles, and perfumes... but you still smell the offending odor under it all.

You know how many tiles are on your floor, ceiling, and walls.

You know how many tiles it takes for your feet to fit perfectly inside them.

You've read every bottle in your your bathroom, three times over. AND you wonder why you don't get paid to write those things by now.

When you gotta go... you GOT TO GO.

You have an "oh ****" handle in your bathroom for when times get scary.

You tried to keep reading material in the bathroom, but you go through it so fast that its not worth even buying it anymore.

You own more underwear than anyone you know.
 
You know when your Gi sees your butt more than any other person.

You have a cupboard full of medications and remedies more than your Food cupboard.
 
*Great* idea Booker!!

You know what the Bristol Stool scale is and you celebrate when you get a 3 or 4.
You can not contain your happiness and have to go share with your CF buddies that you just got a 3 or a 4 on the scale!!!!
You have had a DEXA scan before the age of 50.
You have a repeat schedule for colonoscopies set up as reminders at your GI’s office….for years…again, before the age of 50.
You know what a fistula is and how to explain it properly to someone…who then looks at you like you are an alien.
You are no longer afraid of needles, IVs or long things that get inserted in different orifices.
You can swallow 10 pills at once, no problem.
You actually rate the different flavors at Ensure…..before the age of 80 :O)
You are accustomed to laying little swaths of TP down before you go so you don’t leave streaks and have to flush a bazillion times to get rid of them.
You are well acquainted with a plunger.
You know that no amount of “matching” is gonna get rid of that smell!
You have belly scars – and it isn’t from child birth.
You can empathize way too much with people who have the stomach flu.
You know remission isn’t just for cancer patients.
 
You may have Crohns if you can identify famous faces or animals in the design in the tiles on the floor.
You may have Crohns if you have named your toilet and you plunger
You may have Crohns if a construction site port-a-john looks good.
You may have Crohns if you don't care that you just walked into the womens room and you find an empty stall anyways
 
You might have Crohns when you have a recurring dream about wandering around a hospital not being able to find your GI's office. Then realize you forgot your health-card in the car and will be late for your appointment so you call them on the cell phone to tell them.

What a silly way to wake up at 7 am on a Sunday!
 
razz said:
The skin tag on your anus got so big you named it 'Wilbur"

You get really impressed by how easy and well your children poop.

You can never be sure if the fart smell was you or someone else.

The last time you wore a g-string it was like a torture.

You have 2 sizes in your wardrobe size 'flaring' and size 'not flaring' ( I guess thats if your lucky and have non flaring times).

You join a forum that discusses poop in great length (and you love it!)
Click to expand...

WILBER! LOLOLOL!!!
 
If you live your life in the bathroom while you wonder what the rest of the world is doing
If your bathroom looks like a library
If your monthly underwear bill is larger than your grocery bill
If the parmacist all know you on a first disease basis
If you are going about your day and you suddenly feel faint, hot, nauseated and weak
If you are laying around thinking "I slept - why the hell am I so tired"
If your arsehole is red, inflammed, sore or burning to beat the band
If you are feeling lower than whale ****...
If your belly feels like if someone stuck a pin in it you would fly around the room...
 
CrohnieCarolyn said:
If you are going about your day and you suddenly feel faint, hot, nauseated and weak
Click to expand...

I hate when that happens. I have had that happen a few times while sitting at work. You end up sitting there thinking oh ****, what the hell. It takes you by surprise EVERY time. Every time I also sit there thinking what I should do. hehe I usually just sit there and hope it passes.

CrohnieCarolyn said:
If your belly feels like if someone stuck a pin in it you would fly around the room...
Click to expand...

haha .. I was going to make mention to something like this earlier. I bitch about the bloating often. How I can go to work in the morning looking normal, and come home looking pregnant. *sigh*
 
~When you Pharmacist know you just by looking at your face and Say "is this for you or your mom?"

~ You have a portable DVD player in the bathroom with 30 min shows like Seinfeld or the Simpsons cause you know it's going to be a long stay.

~You investigate where all the bathrooms are where ever you go out.

~Your Friends know your situation and don't notice when your gone for 20 mins.

~ You know all the shortcuts to get from city to city because you are afraid you won't make it to the next.

~You have used the outdoors and Notebook paper because you couldn't hold it anymore.

~You walk into Safeway to use the bathroom and it's closed but you walk in anyways and the lady gets mad at you and says it's closed but you pay no attention.

~You can clear a public bathroom by the sounds that are made while using the toilet.
 
katiesue1506 said:
When there is a storm coming, you check to make sure you have enough toilet paper BEFORE you check for milk, bread, and eggs.

You know how many tiles are on your floor, ceiling, and walls.

You know how many tiles it takes for your feet to fit perfectly inside
Click to expand...

i am so glad that i wasnt the only one that did that
 
merrywidow said:
i am so glad that i wasnt the only one that did that
Click to expand...

Ditto!!!


If you look between your legs while pooping to analyze what comes out.

(did I just admit to that? really?)
 
You may have Crohns if one of the first things on your mind to buy when moving to a new home is a plunger.
You may have Crohns if you look in the toilet and find a foreign object called, "fully formed poo." - whatever that is.
 
CrabbyRelish said:
You may have Crohns if one of the first things on your mind to buy when moving to a new home is a plunger.
You may have Crohns if you look in the toilet and find a foreign object called, "fully formed poo." - whatever that is.
Click to expand...


LOL!!!!! It's like an UFO in your very own toilet!
 
You can tell a doctor how many poops you have a day, what color they each were, and what texture.
 
you might have Crohns if you have had to use a Fast food establishments toilets without buying any food.

you might have Crohns if you have had to be substituted in a football game to use the toilet!!!
 
When you're in the room at the doctors office and you're terrified to fart because you don't want him to walk into that air raid.

When you can't even stand the smell of your own gas or bm's. (Being a nurse, usually i'm pretty immune to poop smell, but lately, i want to vomit every time i fart/poop!)
 
You may have Crohns if you request the hospital bed next to the bathroom

You may have Crohns if your hospital roommate complains cause your hogging the bathroom.

You may have Crohns if you buy longjohns with the flap in the back

You may have Crohns if the first thing you do when you buy new underwear is cut a hole in the seat of them
 
Pirate said:
You may have Crohns if you request the hospital bed next to the bathroom

You may have Crohns if your hospital roommate complains cause your hogging the bathroom.

You may have Crohns if you buy longjohns with the flap in the back

You may have Crohns if the first thing you do when you buy new underwear is cut a hole in the seat of them
Click to expand...


Pirate you crack me up everytime.:ylol2:
 
You may have Crohns if you can tell another Crohnie by the smell of thier farts

You may have Crohns if your the only guy on your softball team wearing panty liners.

You may have Crohns if your boss has an exhaust fan installed in your office

You may have Crohns if your company moves and forgets to tell you
 
Don't stop me now, I'm on a roll.

You may have Crohns if you get to work and your co-works have moved your work bench outside next to a port-a-john

You may have Crohns if your spouse pre- soaks your underwear every night

You may have Crohns if you hang a squeege next to the toilet

You may have Crohns if your spouse no longer has nose hairs
 
Pirate you crack me up! Hillarious, maybe that's why my husband doesn't need a nose hair trimmer...

Also,

You may have Crohn's if you look forward to "injection day" when you give yourself Humira shots
 
If you watched the movie "Evolution" and thought that the Icecream for the butt was a really brilliant idea....

If you nolonger care who sees you researching the best adult nappies in the pharmacy superstore.... (previously used to ferret in like a shoplifter, grab the first thing I saw and sprint for the check out... now it's a leisurely perusal of the best features).

If you have been naked in a shopping centre toilet.... AND just happen to be carrying a full change of clothes, baby wipes, nappy sacks....

If you are never the person who actually says "Who farted?" because you know who farted, and in fact you probably didn't just fart....

If your Sunday afternoon routine is laying all your meds out on the kitchen table and restocking the pill dispensers for the week...

If you get excited about a new brand of toilet cleaner/toilet paper/airfreshener...

If you have ever cleaned your kitchen floor with a toothbrush at 3am.... because you just aren't convinced you did a good enough job the night before...

If you get both excited and a little nervous about a letter inviting you to the "bowel assessment clinic" which asks you to bring a clean hand towel for modesty.... what????

If you have ever wondered if you are just plain crazy and is it actually all in your head because you are so darned depressed with it all that your emotions have got muddled up with your poop....

If you have read someone's post on here and laughed until you cried because you have SO BEEN where that person is, and while you feel their pain you are actually relieved someone else truly understands what you are going through...
 
You may have Crohns if you have to have your septic tank pumped every six months

You may have Crohns if you have to repair the valve assembly in the tank of your toilet once a year.

You may have Crohns if your water saver toilet doesn't save you money

You may have Crohns if the hotel maintence man comes to check your toilet because others complain of a sewer smell coming from your room

You may have Crohns if your city has to build a new waste treatment plant because of you.
 
I am howling with laughter at these!!
You may have Crohns when you rub Anethaine on your naught to stop the sting.
You may have Crohns when as you walk through the door in a hurry even the dogs run for cover.
 
lol

You may have Crohns if you only wear sweat pants cause they come down fast

You may have Crohns if you replace your toilet seat 3 times a year.

You may have Crohns if your legs stay numb for a half an hour after you get up from the toilet

You may have Crohns if you do 3 or more curtesy flushes
 
You may have Crohns if you can identify with all the messages, emphasise and laugh in equal measures.
 
You may have Crohns if you get out a new roll of TP and no one else gets a chance to use any before its gone.

You may have Crohns if you are afraid to moon someone else because you might squirt them.

You may have Crohns if every time you try to climb a step you get a wet feeling between your cheeks

You may have Crohns if you consider your poop as a liquid bi- product.
 
You might have Crohns if you get excited while playing with Lego's because there is a toilet!!!

And you might have Crohns if you stop what you're doing to post this on CF. :) (or a problem, one of the two. :ylol2: )
 
You might have Crohn's if you are so excited to meet a bunch of people from the internet who admit to crapping their pants.....I love you guys!
 
You may have Crohns if you are sledding down a hill turning the snow brown

You may have Crohns if your pants look like thier tie dyed with fall colors

You may have Crohns if you leave to go shopping with underwear on and come home commando

You may have Crohns if you have to get your underwear changed more than your year old grandchild
 
I actually think of them right as I read evrybody else's posts.

You might have Crohns if every fart you let loose sounds wet for a reason.

You might have Crohns if you have thought of putting a garbage bag between your butt and your underwear.

You do have Crohns if you've done that before.

You may have Crohns if your kids have installed a gas detector in your vehicle as a joke.

You may have Crohns if when taking a shower the best part is spraying your butt hole for relief.
 
you may have crohns if you medicene cabinet looks like a mini boots the chemist.
and your 12 year old knows how many yellow/white tablets you should be taking.

you may have crohns if food comes out in the same form it went in. i.e carrots, sweetcorn, beans etc.
 
you might have Crohns if you contemplated using the toilet sitting in your spare room because the bathroom is under construction and your spouse is using the 2nd toilet.
 
You might have Crohns is you just ordered jeans with an elastic waist...
You might have Crohns if you begin to feel like a rabbit - food goes in - poop immediately comes out...
You might have Crohns if you say in your head "you don't have a f&$king clue" when someone says "I understand"
 
You might have Crohn's if you have Tucks with you at all times.
You might have Crohn's if you've ever been thrown out of (insert public place here) because you went into opposite-sex restroom when yours was closed.
You might have Crohn's if dinner out includes you routinely screaming "Drive faster!" at your spouse on the way home.
You might have Crohn's if you are an expert in dashing to the restroom hooked up to an IV while holding the back of your hospital gown closed.
You might have Crohn's if you have a favorite Barium flavor for upper GI scans.
 
You might have Crohn's if people constantly ask you about the diet you're on and then comment on how much weight you've lost. You smile knowingly!
 
tamesis said:
you might have Crohns if you contemplated using the toilet sitting in your spare room because the bathroom is under construction and your spouse is using the 2nd toilet.
Click to expand...


I love this one Pam - don't do it!!! ;)
 
...if you give a little laugh and thing, "I am SO going to pay for this tomorrow," while eating one of your favorite, but now off limits, foods and decide it will be worth it.
 
You may have Crohn's if you have sworn off Red Meat after loving it for so many years!
 
If you laughed a little too hard and a fart escaped....and you were thrilled because it wasn't a shart.
 
If your spouse knows that when cuddling they have to make sure that they don't touch your stomach, as you'll cry out in pain.
 
Aww Pam, that's a yucky one :(

You might have Crohn's if eating has become scary.

You might have Crohn's if you are actually trying to put WEIGHT on as opposed to taking it off like a normal person.
 
Your nurse has to run out of the room due to your vapors
They have to close down your room when you leave due to BM being everywhere as well as the smell
 
...you celebrate formed stools with your husband.
...your mom calls you everyday and the "how´s your poo" question is asked right after "hello", and before "how´s the husband and the dog".
 
You might have Crohns if you own a septic cleaning co. and your your best customer.

You may have Crohns if your grandkids hug you around the stomach and it causes liquid leakage.

You may have Crohns if the gas station attendant yells "Get out of the way, he's headed for the bathroom again."

You may have Crohns if you know how may steps to the bathroom from any place in the house.
 
You might have Crohns if people invite you to their colonoscopy because you have "a lot " of experience. ( this really happened to me last week)

You might have Crohns if you have ever when locked in a restaurant while you were taking care of business ( or does this only happen to me?)
 
when you sit down and go get up wash hands take a few step to the door and start all over again ,and again and again sometime you make it out the door even, or even down the hall.
 
Fog Ducker said:
... You stole a couple bed pads from the hospital for your bed at home.
Click to expand...
hah yea those blue piddle pads we bought for rasing a puppy. I was surpised to see them on my bed in the hosptial :ylol2:

You might have Crohn's if: You are on a first name basis with the secretary of a GI surgeon!
 
kenny said:
You might have Crohn's if: You are on a first name basis with the secretary of a GI surgeon!
Click to expand...


Ha, I do!!! Because it all started when she misprounced Penelope lol... she squeezes me in tight appts, got in within 6 hours. So I brought her some home made apple sauce, saw her today she loved it!
 

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